It's My Turn to feel Out of Place
by Le MAO XXV
Summary: You know how people don't like self-inserts? Well, how would they feel if TWO self-inserts crossed over with each other? Watch as a crazy drunken redneck, his Specialist fiance, and lion Faunus daughter show up and add more insanity to the life of Colt Remington. May God have mercy on his psyche. (My Turn/Out of Place crossover; non-canon) (Jem/Winter) (Colt/?)
1. Vacation Gone Wrong

**MAO: Hey everyone! Le MAO here with a surprise crossover story. A collaboration, if you will. With my cowriter/guest, JC of the Corn!**

 **JC: Hey everybody! Hows it going! Ready for a mash up of insanity?!**

 **MAO: Ah yes, adding insanity to the max from Out of Place with the insanity already taking place in "my" life in My Turn...why do I do this to "myself"?**

 **JC: I don't know, maybe you secretly enjoy it, I don't know, but we got guns, we got booze, we got crazy people, its a fine mash up of some of the best stuff on this site!**

 **MAO: ...May God have mercy on "my" psyche. Well, without further delay, let's get on with this crossover of epic proportions!**

 **JC: Let the games begin! Let's see just how much mental anguish we can dish out!**

* * *

 _Disclaimer: Neither I nor JC of the Corn own RWBY._ _Cover image by sumopiggy on Deviantart._

* * *

"It pays to have a rich fiancé." Jem said as they had just finished a ten mile hike into the mountain range and were stopping at a base camp to restock on supplies.

"You sound like a gold digger right now." Winter said as she looked a bit out of place in hiking gear rather than her Atlas uniform, but that wasn't the only odd thing you would see.

"We're going on a hike! We're going on a hike! Today's the day! Hip-hip, hooray! We're going on hike!"

Nala was singing a song her Auntie Nora had taught her. For some reason the high altitude and small pack she was carrying had absolutely no effect on her.

Course Jem, being the experienced outdoorsman, and Winter, being the Atlesian Specialist, had made sure to plan out all the details for this family trip, as well as making sure Nala knew everything she needed to know. As well as having the tools necessary to defend herself. Jem himself was keeping Red Dawn in its tomahawk and knife form for easy carrying, Winter had her sword just in case of Grimm encounter. And even their little lion Faunus daughter was armed.

Winter had to admit, she was a little pissed at her fiancé for once again giving their child a gun. But he made sure not to let her have the 44 magnum until she was old enough to handle it. For now, he gave her his father's old police revolver, a .38 Smith and Wesson revolver. It was fun to shoot, and made for a decent self-defense tool. Winter tried to talk Jem out of giving their daughter a gun, but he did make a point, if by chance, no matter how slim that may be, if they got separated, Nala might have to fend for herself.

Well, or as Jem put it-.

"I want her to be able to defend herself against pedophiles!"

"There are no pedophiles in the woods!"

"How do you know?!"

"…Okay, I guess I don't know."

Then again, he had already taught her how to safely operate her gun, how to clean and maintain it, as well as how to shoot properly. She was wondering if all Americans were as gun crazy as her fiancé.

"Besides, we'll stop here, get some supplies, and then we'll make camp in another few miles." Jem said as he handed her a canteen.

"…Is this the canteen full of water or moonshine?" Winter wanted to be sure.

"Oops, good call, sorry, I really gotta label these." Jem handed her the correct canteen.

She rolled her eyes.

Jem may have been a bit of a drinker, and while she hated that quality in Qrow, somehow it was endearing in Jem…or maybe she had just built up a tolerance, but that wasn't the point. The point is she loved him, and her daughter. No matter how much they get on her nerves sometimes.

For example, apparently her lover thought it was appropriate to chase away any boys who got close to their daughter.

She rolled her eyes at the thought. For god's sake, she was just a kid! At this point, kids played together! It didn't mean that the boys had any other intention towards their daughter!

...

...

Well, except for the one kid who wanted to play doctor, and she remembered what happened then.

 _"You have about five seconds to get out of this house before you'll NEED to call a doctor!"_

Yeah, that boy never came back.

"Weird…there should be more people at base camp." Jem said as he looked around the camp.

Sure enough, nobody was here.

"You think we got the wrong place?" Nala asked as she was currently snacking on beef jerky for energy.

"Nope, pretty sure I got the map right." Jem said as he looked it over again.

"Maybe we should have asked the one hiker we passed for directions." Winter suggested as Jem gave a light glare.

"Hey! I can read the map just fine!"

"What is with you and asking for directions?"

"What is it with you and maps?"

"Mommy, Daddy, why are you reenacting that scene from the second Mulan movie?"

Nala watched that not too long ago with her Aunt Nora and Uncle Ren.

It was always weird, because for some reason the main character reminded her of Ren.

"Sorry Nala, your father is weird."

Jem smirked. "Yet you were going along with it."

"...Shut up."

Jem was still confused, according to the map and even to the GPS that Winter had brought along, because apparently _someone_ wanted to have a backup plan. Bah, it made him think she didn't trust his navigation skills! He wasn't an eagle scout for nothing!

Although…there was the time he was supposed to lead his troop out of the camp…and he ended up going in a circle, but that was beside the point!

The point is…where was everybody?

"So! You finally arrived!" Wait, that voice…it sounded like-.

"We meet again! Jeremiah Cotton!" Son of a bitch, he knew that voice.

"Tyrian…" He looked up on the roof to see Tyrian currently flicking his wrist out.

"Surprised to see me?"

"No, god at this rate, you're creepier than Tigerstripe ever was."

At that Tyrian scowled at him.

"Don't you dare speak of her name in vain!" Tyrian still held fond memories of the wannabe Faunus.

"Dude, can't you just leave us alone, I mean what did I ever do to you?" Jem knew the answer, but he was tired.

"What did you ever do to me?! First you take the love of my dear Tigerstripe away from me!"

"Okay first off, you KNOW that if I had a choice, I would've _happily_ given her over to you! I was not in love with her!" Jem felt the need to defend himself there.

"And then you take the love of my mistress away from me!"

"…Okay I gotta admit, I'm kind of proud of that." Jem admitted.

Winter glared.

"I was joking! Geez! You know I love you Winter."

Sometimes Winter didn't take those jokes well.

"And now! I'm going to kill you for it!" Tyrian said as he unsheathed his bracers.

"…Can't you try and do this later? We're on a family vacation."

Jem really wasn't in the mood for this.

"Oh wow, it's almost like someone forgot I'M EVIL!" Tyrian was getting more and more frustrated.

"I didn't forget, I'm hoping you're insane enough to leave us alone just this one time."

Jem was reaching for Red Dawn, Winter was reaching for her sword, and Nala had her hand on her holster.

"Oh, but isn't there a purpose to my insanity?" Tyrian was asking cryptic questions for some reason.

"Other than to annoy me?" Seriously, Tyrian got on Jem's nerves.

Maybe it was because he was convinced Tyrian was all necro with Tigerstripe? It honestly wouldn't surprise him.

"Don't you think it's rather…distracting?" Tyrian was just acting weird.

"Look, what is it that you-." All three of them felt themselves backing against something.

They turned around, only to see a ton of crates of Dust behind them with a timer placed on top.

Oh crap…it was a bomb. A _Dust_ bomb.

"BOMB VOYAGE!" Tyrian laughed and jumped behind a rock.

"OH YOU GOT TO BE KID-!"

 **KABOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOMMMMMMM!**

…

...

Once the explosion died down, Tyrian grinned and skipped back to the blast site.

The base camp building was completely destroyed, and he saw no sign of the three.

"D-Did I do it?"

He gazed around in shock.

"Was it really that easy?!"

Tyrian felt joy bubbling in his heart.

"I DID IT! I AVENGED YOU MY LOVELY TIGERSTRIPE!" Tyrian could almost squeal like a little girl.

"Now…Mistress is all mi-!"

All of a sudden he froze.

"…How am I going to explain his death?"

…

...

"Well, shit."

He was screwed.

"I didn't think this through."

Tyrian was suddenly worried.

Salem was going to be _soooooooo_ pissed!

* * *

 _(Meanwhile, on another Remnant)_

 _(Jem POV)_

"SHIIIIIIT!"

Jem landed on the soft grass.

"Wait, what the hell?" He looked around only to see that he wasn't in the mountains anymore.

"How am I still alive?" He thought it over.

That Dust bomb should have incinerated all three of them! Unless….

Oh you got to be kidding!

"Another freaking displacement Dust bomb? How does the same shit happen to the same guy THREE times?!" He thought as he noticed he lost his shirt.

"And to top it all off, I lost my shirt again, how about that Winny…Winny?" He looked around only to notice he was all alone.

"Well…shit."

If he survived, then that means they survived as well.

But where were they? They couldn't have gone far, right?

 **GGGGGGGGGGGGRRRRRRR!**

…

...

Jem turned to see a group of three Ursa coming out of the woods.

"…You know, this must be how dad feels whenever his semblance is active." Jem now knew how his father felt with the whole 'bad luck' mojo.

Well…here goes nothing.

"Jesus…Odin…help me out here."

* * *

 _(Winter and Nala POV)_

Coughing from a child was heard.

"M-Mommy, Dust tastes like salt!" Nala yelled as she was dusting herself off.

"I think we have bigger problems," Winter said as she looked around.

"What do you mean?" Nala asked as she was currently patting some of the Dust off of her safari shorts.

"Nala…where are we?" Winter asked as Nala took a look around.

"We're back on Remnant, close to Beacon Academy?" she answered as her mother nodded.

"And what is strange about that?" She was hoping her daughter would catch on.

"Uuuhhh…the Dust that was supposed to kill us sent us here instead?"

"No, besides that."

"Daddy probably got sent somewhere else?"

"Besides tha-…oh no…where's Jem?"

"I'm sure he's fine, Mommy! After all, he _is_ lucky!"

"…Okay, fair enough, but do you find anything out of place?"

"…I give up, whats wrong?"

"Beacon Academy was demolished during the attacks, remember?"

And all of a sudden, the hamster wheel in Nala's head started turning. Her mother was right. Beacon was completely annihilated by her Daddy's crazy ex-girlfriend and her psycho friends. But now it looked like it was rebuilt. But that wasn't right. While the situation in Vale wasn't _as_ bad as her daddy said it could have been, there was no way they could have rebuilt beacon tower, especially since that giant Grimm Dragon thingy was still a problem.

"So…did we…travel through time?" Nala suddenly felt like she was in an episode of the Twilight Zone.

"Let's not get too crazy here. For now, we should try to get our bearings," Winter said as she looked down at her hiking shirt.

Only to see that the midsection was burnt and cut up beyond all repair.

"Dang it." She said as she ripped the midsection off exposing her abs to the world.

"What about Daddy?" Nala was still worried for her father.

"I'm sure he's fine. You know him, he'll find us. Remember the time you got lost at the mall?" Nala giggled a bit at the memory.

Her father had taken her to the United States to show her where he grew up. Afterwards they ended up going to a mall, and Nala lost her way in the crowd because she saw a pet store, and Jem was so worried it was a miracle he didn't start yelling out her name trying to find her.

"Okay, fair point."

Winter smiled. "Right. Now let's see if we can find someone and get some answers."

If Winter had truly known the headmaster of Beacon Academy, she would've known that the eccentric man always had security cameras everywhere….

 _Including_ the area she and Nala were in.

* * *

 _(Beacon Security Room)_

 _(1_ _st_ _POV)_

Ah…yet another boring day in the security room.

Not that I don't appreciate it compared to all the crap I have to deal with. I'll take what I can get.

All I have to do is sit here and keep my eyes on the camera feeds.

You'd think it would be easy, but…Ozpin had cameras _everywhere_.

And as math goes, having this many cameras equals the same number of video feeds. Which meant there was a lot for me to keep an eye on.

It was difficult at first, what with the fact that I could easily miss something important. Thankfully, everyone else, even Winter, was usually out patrolling the halls, courtyard, or outskirts of Beacon. If I missed something, chances are they'd spot it.

Luckily, today seemed to be a quiet day. No shenanigans whatsoever….

Except for Violet tasing Cardin in the nuts for bullying Velvet. That was _priceless_.

That's my girl!

But yeah, nothing else out of the ordinary. At least, by our standards.

Qrow drinking from his flask in a corner…and Winter catching and scolding him. Hopefully it won't escalate into a fight. Or at the very least, not inside the building.

Empty hallway.

Vert belittling a few students, probably calling them brats or something.

Empty hallway.

Empty hallway.

Amber and Glynda discussing something. It looked like casual talk in my opinion.

Empty hallway.

Empty hallway.

Empty hallway.

Winter and some lion Faunus girl falling from the sky and onto the courtyard.

Empty hallway.

Empty hallway.

…Wait a minute.

I turned my gaze back to _that_ particular video feed.

Sure enough, Winter and some lion Faunus girl were in the courtyard wearing hiking gear, both looking a bit worse for wear. Almost like they had been a part of an explosion.

I honestly couldn't help but aw a bit at the little lion girl. She was just so cute! Easily the second most adorable child I've ever seen!

Violet still places first, obviously. Nothing beats her in that category.

I mean, who could compete with a mini-Velvet?

…Well, maybe a mini- _Ruby_ , but that's neither here nor there.

What was I talking about again?

Oh right. The camera feed.

I stared at the video feed of Winter and the little lion girl…then at the video feed of Winter scolding an uncaring Qrow….

Yeah, something's not right here.

I took out my scroll and dialed a number.

…

…

On the video feed, the Winter scolding Qrow stopped and pulled out her scroll to answer.

"Colt? Is something wrong?"

"Not really, no. Just wanted to clear something up is all."

"And that would be?"

"…You're currently scolding Qrow about drinking on the job, right?"

She scoffed. "Of course I am. This drunken fool has no professionalism whatsoever! How he's a teacher is beyond me."

I heard Qrow chime in. "Sticks and stones may break my bones, but words will never hurt me."

Winter scoffed again, causing me to snicker a bit.

She sighed. "In any case, why do you ask?"

"Just making sure is all."

I turned my gaze to the video feed of the other Winter, seeing her rip the burnt part of her clothing off, revealing her midriff….

Hot.

I cleared my throat. "Another question…you wouldn't happen to know a little lion Faunus girl, would you?"

She paused. "…No?"

"Okay, last question…I don't suppose you have a twin sister that you kept secret?"

"… _Why_?"

Her tone was scary.

"J-Just wondering! Y-You know, for clarity's sake?

…

…

"No," she finally said. "Just Weiss and…my _brother_."

"Okay, just wanted to…wait, you have a brother?"

"Indeed. Younger than Weiss…I'd rather not talk about him."

Huh…the more you know.

She spoke again. "Might I ask why you're asking these questions?"

I stared back at the video feed of the other Winter and little lion girl looking around the courtyard.

"…I'll let you know when I know myself."

"What's that supposed to-?"

"I'll call you back."

I hung up…then winced.

She probably wouldn't appreciate that.

I opened my scroll and linked the camera feeds to it. If those two moved, then I'd know about it.

I stood and made my way out of the security room, locking it behind me.

I sighed. "So much for a quiet day."

* * *

 **MAO: Yeah...a quiet day in _"my"_ life? As if the universe would let me. Instead, now I have to deal with **_**this**_ **,**

 **JC: Yeah seems like your character feels a bit 'Out of Place' all of a sudden! Man, makes you wonder what deity he pissed off. Jesus, Odin, who did he piss off?**

 **MAO: Maybe I pissed off the Buddha somehow? He's how I'm in Remnant to begin with. Who knows? Anyway, worlds are about to clash. And before anyone asks, yes...Violet and Nala will meet. Won't say when, though. Only that it'll be soon...ish.**

 **JC: Oh, how worlds will collide!**

 **MAO: Right, well you all know the drill. If you liked this and want to be kept up to date, be sure to follow and fav. Leave a review while you're at it! We'd love to hear from you guys!**

 **JC: Until next time, I'm JC of the Corn, and hoping you have a great day!**

 **MAO: And I'm Le MAO XXIII. See you all in the next update!**

 **MAO and JC: LATERS!**


	2. Wandering, Observation, and Meeting

**MAO: Hey everybody! Le MAO here, along with cowriter/guest JC of the Corn for another installment of It's My Turn to feel Out of Place!**

 **JC: Hey ladies and gentleman! Bet you're all dying to see what happens, well we're happy to provide!**

 **MAO: Right! But first, a small recap...despite that it's only been a few days since the first chapter, but it's kinda my thing, so...yeah.**

 ***MAO pulls out note card***

 **MAO: Jem's family vacation with Winter and Nala is ruined by Tyrian, who unknowingly sends them to My Turn. Jem ends up in the some forest (to be now revealed), while Winter and Nala are at Beacon. Colt Remington finds the mother and daughter on the security camera and goes to investigate!**

 ***puts note card away***

 **MAO: I think that about covers it, don't you think?**

 **JC: Yeah pretty much, guess the good luck semblance didn't help him there did it?**

 **MAO: Evidently not. Well, without further delay, let's get on with it!**

 **JC: Ah yes, and more madness to come!**

* * *

 _Disclaimer: Neither JC of the Corn nor I own RWBY._

* * *

 _(Emerald Forest)_

A tiny little squirrel popped out of the foliage. It was sniffing around looking for nuts. The Grimm had gone, and it was safe to come out.

The squirrel was afraid. After all, Grimm were scary! So you had to be ever vigilant! Who knows what could happen!

But there were no Grimm, so there was nothing to be afraid of-.

"GOT YOU!"

A hand popped out of the bush and broke the squirrel's neck...cue sad violin music.

...

...

Music over! Back to the plot!

Jem popped out of the bush in what appeared to be a cloak made of wolf skin. Yeah, it turns out there were regular wolves in the emerald forest. They just weren't as prominent as the Grimm. One tried to bite him, so he killed it and was now wearing its fur as a cloak. And now here he was about to enjoy a nice fat squirrel.

"Seriously though, which way is back to civilization?"

Jem was lost. Unfortunately, his hiking gear and all of his navigational equipment like his compass was gone. The reason why was that he took his pack off for a break back at the base camp before Tyrian blew him away.

So in other words, all he had right now was his canteen full of moonshine, his weapon, an iPod, and some homemade deer jerky.

 _"FOR THE GRACE, FOR THE MIGHT OF OUR LORD! FOR THE HOME OF THE HOLY!"_

Luckily his iPod had Sabaton on it.

So in other words, he could feel like a total bad ass when he did have to fight Grimm. So, he was pretty happy about that.

He got to work skinning the squirrel.

As of right now, he had no cooking spices, he had flint and steel, so he could risk a small cooking fire, but as soon as that squirrel was cooked to a decent level, he had to get going again. Not just because the cooked squirrel might attract predators. But also because he had to find Winter and Nala.

"Could I make a hat out of this squirrel fur?" Jem asked himself as he held it out.

…

…

"Nope."

But he was still going to keep it.

What could he make out of a squirrel pelt? A glove? A parka for his dick? He had no idea! But you never know when you'd need a pelt! Course, here he was wearing a fresh wolf pelt, so….

He'd think on it later. Right now, he just prayed that Nala and Winter were alright.

But he swore to god, if Tyrian harmed even one hair on their heads, Jem would make that guy eat his own testicles while he pissed on Tigerstripe's grave!

Or even better, he'll dig up Tigerstripe, pee on her head, draw a dick on her forehead, and _then_ make Tyrian eat his own dick!

…Okay, maybe being in this forest was starting to affecting him.

"This squirrel needs garlic," he said as he wished he had his spices with him.

Seriously, squirrel meat was already pretty boring. So with no spice to improve the taste, he begrudgingly ate it.

You may ask: why didn't he just eat the deer jerky?

Well, that's because he wanted to know what squirrel meat tasted like. And because Nala still hadn't had any of his deer jerky, so he was saving the rest of the bag for her.

"…Maybe a bit of pepper too." Jem took another bite out of the squirrel as he pulled the wolf head hood off of his head.

If anyone was to take a look at him now, they might think he was taking this whole 'descended from barbarian's thing a little too seriously. But the wolf pelt served a purpose, it was INCREDIBLY warm, and as an added bonus, he got to feel like a bad ass while wearing it.

You can't ask for much more than that!

"Wait, I just realized," he thought aloud. "If I'm still on Remnant, then why didn't Winter just call her boss?"

Suddenly his entire time in this forest made no sense….

If they were still on Remnant, Winter would have already called Ironwood to inform him what happened and ask for an Evac. So if that was the case, wouldn't they have found Jem already?

Then again, he was in the middle of a forest with Grimm on all sides. So maybe he wouldn't be so easy to find.

"Well, better get going." He said as he got up.

In reality, he knew he couldn't keep fighting Grimm. He may have good luck on his side, but he wasn't nearly as well trained as Winter was. Granted, she had years of experience, but Jem was catching up. Still though, after those three Ursa, he was content to just avoid them. Especially since his only concern right now was finding Winter and Nala.

"Can't we just have a normal vacation?"

He started hiking, his rifle slung over his shoulder.

"I get that we're an eccentric bunch, but come on, just ONE normal vacation. No crazy Faunus, no crazy stalkers, and _definitely_ no having to worry about if Grimm are going to pop out of nowhere! JUST! ONE! NORMAL! VACATION!"

Okay, so Jem was a little frustrated.

He took a sip of Moonshine to calm his nerves. Seriously this happened a lot on family vacations.

Something always came along to throw them into some weird mess. The first time he tried to take Winter and Nala on vacation to Hawaii, their flight was delayed, which doesn't sound that unusual.

But then when they finally got on the flight, it had to land in California for fuel, which Jem COULD NOT STAND! He spent his whole life trying to avoid California. And yet he ended up in the land of the heathen….

It was horrible.

The second family vacation was back on Remnant. They took a cruise, and a squid Grimm attacked the ship. Jem was afraid of squids, so…yeah that wasn't fun.

And now the third trip was going so well until Tyrian showed up. Seriously, what he would give for one slightly normal trip. No crazy warriors, just nice relaxing family time.

"…Oh who am I kidding? If my life was too normal, it'd get boring fast."

Jem shrugged his shoulders and continued his hike.

Hopefully, he got to Winter and Nala before someone else did. Say, a creeper or a pedophile….

Or someone who was both.

But what were the odds of someone like that being near Winter and Nala?

* * *

 _(Colt 1st POV)_

...You know, if someone were to catch me in my current position, conducting this particular activity, they'd call me a creeper. Or a pedophile….

Or both.

What was I doing that would make people think that, you ask? Well, I was currently hiding behind a bush in the Beacon Courtyard, scouting the two suspicious characters wandering about with a pair of binoculars.

…Yeah, I'm glad no one else is seeing me do this.

And before anyone asks, I'm out of sight of the cameras, so hah! No misunderstandings with anyone watching the video feeds!

So anyway, I took a closer look at the two. The possible doppelganger of Winter looked exactly like the Winter assigned here at Beacon.

Same hair.

Same eyes.

Same…body figure…that I might have admired for longer than I should have.

Especially since she was wearing something that now exposed her midriff since she had to-.

 **SLAP!**

Goddamn it, I'm not a creeper!

Note to self: bang my head against the wall of my room repeatedly for five seconds when I get back.

Shaking off the slap, I turned the binoculars to the little Lion Faunus girl. She was wearing what looked like a little safari getup….

My god, she really is adorable. Almost as adorable as Violet, really. I should introduce them to each other if this one turns out to not have any ill intent. And while it'd be ridiculous for someone as cute as the little lioness to have bad intentions….

That gun on her waist isn't helping her case.

Who...in the hell...gives a child a _gun_?!

That is _literally_ the number one parenting rule! Keep children away from anything that could hurt them!

I'm pretty sure a freakin' _gun_ falls under that jurisdiction!

Of course, I kinda let Violet have a baton and Taser, which both more than likely fall under that category as well, so am I really one to talk?

...

...

Then again, a gun is _several_ times more dangerous than a Taser! Or a baton! If anything, I'm the sane one here!

I'm giving that child's parents a stern talking-to if I ever meet them. Same goes for this possible doppelganger of Winter. If she's supposed to be Winter, then there's no way she'd let a _child_ have a gun!

And furthermore-!

"Hi, Daddy."

MOTHERFUCKER!

I jumped a bit, thankfully not shouting in shock or making rustling noises. I turned to find my daughter, Violet, next to me in her little police uniform.

"What'cha doing?" she asked with a smile and her hands behind her back.

"…Violet, you're not Isabella from Phineas and Ferb."

She tilted her head in confusion. "Who?"

"Never mind."

I sighed. "And I'm currently scouting out two suspicious people up ahead."

Violet peeked her head through the bush to get a look herself.

"Hey, look! Another kid! Daddy, can I play with her?"

I chuckled. "Possibly, but pay attention to the other person."

"…Isn't that Winter?"

"…Maybe."

She looked back to me with a raised eyebrow. "What do you mean 'maybe'?"

I pulled out my scroll. "Let me show you something."

I opened two video feeds.

"Notice anything?"

She narrowed her eyes at the screen. "…There's two Winters?"

Atta, girl.

"Exactly," I confirmed. "And the one in her uniform is the Winter we know. So~…?"

Violet's eyes widened. "We have an imposter trying to replace Winter!"

"…It's possible, but let's not jump to-."

"WE CAN'T LET HER! WINTER'S A POTENTIAL SPECIAL SOMEONE FOR YOU! AND A POTENTIAL MOMMY FOR ME!"

"Keep it down! And stop trying to set me up with women!"

"Well, maybe if you would finally ask one of them out!"

"There's nothing going on with me or any of them in the first place!"

"There is and you know it! Stop hiding your feelings!"

"I'm not hiding anything!"

We kept going back and forth with this one argument we always have...

Until-.

"Are we interrupting something?"

"You are, actually," I said, turning my head. "So if you would kindly leave and-."

I froze, finally noticing the other Winter glaring with crossed arms, and the little lion girl staring at Violet with a glazed over look for some reason.

"…Shit."

"SWEAR!"

"Not now!"

* * *

 _(Winter and Nala 3rd POV)_

"So, do you think this place is safe?" Nala asked as she looked at her gun.

Before this whole fiasco, he decided to give her the gun, but he wasn't going to let her have real bullets. Instead he had what he called "stun" or "knockout" bullets, which were kind of like beanbag gun rounds. He got the idea after watching an episode of Cops. And since he didn't want his baby girl to kill someone, he switched the regular bullets with rounds that would just hurt like hell.

He even tested them out first. If a guy ever tried to harm her, he would be in for a bruising!

Nala still hadn't used it yet, though. Her shooting experience was mostly limited to the gun range her dad took her to. She found it weird how she had a blast at the range, but there was a grown man complaining about how "scary" guns were. Maybe he was just a strange person or something. She didn't know.

The point was, she knew how to use it. She just didn't know what would happen.

"Positive, which rounds do you have in your weapon?" Winter asked as she needed to make sure this place was friendly.

"Daddy made sure I used the stun rounds!" Nala opened up the cylinder just to show her.

"Good….I know we live in a dangerous world, but I'm not sure about giving you that gun." Winter still felt a little scared.

"It's okay! Daddy had me go through every possible safety course there is! According to him, I know more about guns than half of Congress! Although I don't know what that means…."

Nala was still a little confused on what "Congress" was.

"Just make sure to only use it when we're in danger." Winter didn't want her scaring anyone.

"Like against the pedophiles Daddy warned me about?" She tilted her head a bit.

"Yes…or Grimm."

Seriously, how were pedophiles scarier than Grimm?

"WE CAN'T LET HER! WINTER'S A POTENTIAL SPECIAL SOMEONE FOR YOU! AND A POTENTIAL MOMMY FOR ME!"

What the hell was that?

"Mommy…what's going on?" Nala was suddenly taking a protective stance in front of her mother.

Suddenly Winter was a little disturbed. "…I don't know."

That was a little girl's voice. She was talking to someone else about making "Winter a potential special someone".

"Is someone stalking us?!" Nala was feeling very protective of her mother. "NOBODY'S GETTING MY MOMMY!"

"Nala, I'm sure it's not like that," Winter said as she took a few steps forward.

She could hear the voices arguing. Something about finding a special someone, and hiding your feelings and stuff like that. So, Winter and Nala got closer and closer to the source of the arguing, which was behind a bush.

Winter found a man in what appeared to be a leather uniform…that strangely resembled the one worn by Judge Dredd in the remake Dredd (she knew about it when one time she had been randomly flicking through TV channels on Earth). Instead of the signature helmet, however, was a black cowboy hat and shades.

Winter crossed her arms and glared.

"Are we interrupting something?" She asked as she saw the man arguing with a little girl.

She hoped that this guy was just crazy and not a pedophile.

"You are actually, so if you would kindly leave and-."

The man froze as he had finally taken notice of who found him.

"…Shit."

"SWEAR!"

"Not now!"

While that was a bit funny, Winter made a mental note to smack the man upside the head for swearing in front of children.

Speaking of children, her eyes lingered on the little rabbit girl in the police uniform….

Okay, Winter had to gush internally. Because that little girl was FREAKING ADORABLE! Not as cute as her daughter mind you! But with that little outfit, and that baton and Taser, she sorta reminded the Specialist of Judy Hopps from Zootopia (another movie she randomly found on Earth).

…

…

Wait a minute, BATON AND TASER?!

There was _another_ nutjob giving his daughter weapons?!

Great, it was bad enough Jem gave his daughter a gun, but now there was a little girl with a bludgeoning weapon and a Taser. Why were men so crazy?!

She looked to her own daughter…who was staring at the little bunny girl with a glazed over look.

That...was odd.

Perhaps her Faunus instincts were kicking in? After all, some Faunus do share certain traits with the animal they share physical characteristics with. Perhaps Nala is feeling the predator/prey instinct?

That seemed like a completely sensible explanation. And yet…Winter got a nagging feeling that she was dead wrong. That perhaps it was something _else_. Something that should really worry her since she was Nala's mother.

…

…

 _Bah. It's probably just predator/prey instincts and nothing more._

Winter shook her head of the thoughts and glared at the man.

"Now, I'm going to give you _five_ seconds to explain to me why you were stalking my daughter and I. If you don't-."

Winter pulled out her sword and went into protective mother mode.

"You will not like what happens next."

She held her weapon to the side to show that she meant business, and that she would only hurt him if he posed a danger to her.

"I have enough problems on my plate without having to deal with stalkers like you."

The man scrambled to his feet and waved his hands. "Whoa, whoa, whoa! I wasn't stalking you!"

Winter raised an eyebrow. "Really? Then what's with the binoculars?"

The man stared down at the incriminating evidence around his neck….

"T-These are nothing!"

The man ripped the binoculars off and tossed them away, the item clattering to the ground and breaking a bit.

"Daddy, wasn't that Beacon property?"

The man groaned and palmed his face. "Goddamn it. That's coming out of my paycheck."

"SWEAR!"

"Violet, seriously. Not now. I'll pay the penalty fee later."

The now-named Violet narrowed her eyes. "You better, mister."

Winter internally sighed in relief. The man was the little bunny's father. For a second there, Winter thought she'd have to incur righteous justice upon a pedophile.

She cleared her throat to get his attention. "I would also appreciate it if you didn't swear in front of the children."

"…No promises."

Winter glared. The nerve of-!

"Halt! In the name of the law!"

Violet got in front of her father, aiming the Taser at Winter.

"You won't be replacing Winter today, you big phony!"

Winter blinked. "…What?"

"Hey!"

Nala, having finally snapped out of...whatever she had gone through, got in front of her mother in a protective stance, her hand on her gun.

"No stunning my mommy!"

Violet gave a start. "…M-Mommy?"

She turned to her father. "D-Daddy, when did Winter become a mommy?"

"…She didn't."

The man sighed and looked to Winter. "Can we have the kids out of the way, please?"

Winter frowned. The fact he cared about Violet and Nala's safety, despite not even knowing the latter, won him a few points in Winter's book, but she would still regard him cautiously.

"…Nala, get behind me."

"Violet, you do the same with me."

"But-," they both tried to say.

"Nala/Violet."

Both girls frowned, but ultimately listened to their parents and hid behind their legs, peeking out at each other.

The man pursed his lips as he stared at Winter, who in turn regarded the man with caution, her weapon ready to strike should it be necessary….

"I'd like it if we didn't get off to a bad start. How about you?"

Winter narrowed her eyes. "That depends on what your intentions are."

The man frowned. "I could ask you the same thing, lady."

"It's Winter. Winter Schnee. Atlesian Specialist. You would do well to watch yourself around someone like me."

The man stared unimpressed…then pulled out his scroll.

"Yeah, I'm having a few doubts on your identity."

"What are you-?"

The man showed Winter two live video feeds. One that showed all four of them in their little "standoff" in the courtyard….

And a second showing _Winter_ in her Atlesian uniform, throwing her hands up in the air after being done with Qrow Branwen and storming off.

Winter gawked. "…W-What?"

But… _she_ was Winter! How could there be two Winters?!

Either Nala was right and they were suddenly sent back in time, or-.

…

…

Or, just like with RWBY and JNPR previously, they were on another world.

Only this time…another _Remnant_.

"My name's Colt," the man introduced. "Colt Remington. This little bunny is my daughter, Violet Scarlatina."

The now-named Colt crossed his arms and raised an eyebrow. "Care to tell me who _you_ two are?"

Things suddenly got a lot more complicated for the Specialist and her little lioness daughter.

* * *

 **MAO: Ooooh, things are getting good, now!**

 **JC: Oh yes, building up the plot leading to some weird stuff. Can't wait to see what messed up shit we come up with next!**

 **MAO: Yeah, um...JC? What was up with Nala there? She acted...odd.**

 **JC: Oh? Odd? Hmmm, well...this is an odd story. Eh, it's probably nothing.**

…

…

 **JC: Or IS IT?**

 ***X-File's theme plays***

 **MAO: ...Um...yeah...sure. A-Anyway, you all know the drill. If you liked this and want to be kept up to date, be sure to follow and fav. Leave a review while you're at it! We'd love to hear from you guys!**

 **JC: See ya next time! And a pledge a day keeps the commies away! Bye!**

 ***JC leaves, while MAO gives him a weird look***

 **MAO: …Um, right. Laters, then.**


	3. Meeting (cont) and Grimm Danger

**MAO: Hey, everybody! Le MAO and JC here with another installment of It's My Turn to feel Out of Place!**

 ***JC stumbles in hungover***

 **JC: Er, my head feels like it's in a vice grip.**

 ***Looks up***

 **JC: Oh shit! We're on! I mean, hey everybody! Welcome to another chapter!**

 **MAO: ...JC...what the fuck?**

 **JC: Sorry, went out with friends last night, and they bought me Vegas bombs, which are delicious, but you don't want to drink too many. Lesson here kids, no matter how sweet something may taste, if it has alcohol, you got to know your limit.**

 **MAO: ...Well said.**

 ***clears throat***

 **MAO: Alright, quick recap! Jem's still in the Emerald Forest, Colt and Violet meet Jem's fiance and daughter, and Colt calls out Winter about who she is.**

 ***JC cracks open a beer***

 **JC: Yep, so in other words, Winter is in a bit of a sticky situation. Should she stay or should she go?**

 **MAO: Let's see what she decides. Without further delay, let's get this chapter underway!**

 **JC: I'll drink to that!**

 **MAO: I thought you were hung-…never mind. To the story!**

* * *

 _Disclaimer: Neither I nor JC of the Corn own RWBY. Cover image by sumopiggy on Deviantart._

* * *

 _(Winter and Nala POV)_

Winter honestly didn't know what to think. She was Winter Schnee! Specialist in the Atlesian military!

And yet…this jerk didn't believe her!

And what made it worse was that she couldn't exactly blame the man for not believing her. There were clearly two _live_ feeds of two different Winters in two different locations….

"P-Perhaps there's a l-loop?"

"I called her before coming here and confirmed it was really her. Plus, the Winter I know doesn't have a Faunus daughter."

Well, shit.

It appeared that now she had to take one simple fact into account…they may not be on their home world of Remnant. Sure they were on _a_ Remnant, but it wasn't _their_ Remnant. It may _look_ like their Remnant, but it may be different from their _actual_ Remnant….you get what I'm laying down? Because I sure don't.

"Well?" Colt asked.

Winter had to make a choice.

She can either-.

A: Grab Nala and run because this guy may have been stalking her for a while.

B: Stay and try to explain herself.

"Huh, well that's weird." Nala had somehow snatched the weird tablet thingy out of the man's hands.

"HEY!" he shouted in indignation.

"Mommy! Why is there another you?" Nala said as she pointed to the other Winter on the screen.

"That's not me!"

"But it looks like you!"

"I can see that!"

"Do you have another sister?"

"No! Just Weiss and…my brother." Even saying that irritated the hell out of Winter.

"Wait, I have an uncle too?"

"…Lets not have this conversation now."

"Why not?"

"Your uncle is weird."

"Okay…so now what?"

Well, Winter couldn't run after that whole debacle. The man stood there with his arms crossed waiting for an explanation. The little bunny girl meanwhile tapped Nala's shoulder.

"Um, could you return that?" she asked politely. "It's Beacon property."

"Okay!" Nala exclaimed (a little too) cheerfully, immediately giving the device back.

"Didn't I tell you to stay behind me?" Winter asked as both little girls realized they both were supposed to be hiding behind their parents legs….

They only shrugged.

Winter sighed and looked at the man in front of her.

"Look, I told you the truth. My name is Winter Schnee, Atlesian Specialist, member of the Schnee family, and mother to Nala. I have _no_ idea why there is another me running around except…except…."

How the heck was she going to explain this?

"Oh, I get it!" Nala piped up as everyone looked at her. "That Dust sent us to a new world!"

"Nala, I can s-." But Nala was too excited to stay quiet.

"No! It makes sense! Think about it, you and Daddy met the same way! Then we traveled to our Remnant and Earth using the same Dust! And then the creepy guy sent us here!"

Winter rubbed her face with her left hand. "I doubt they will believe that."

"Why not?"

"Because…that may seem crazy."

"Mommy, you realize our whole lives are crazy, right?"

"Yes, but these people don't understand what kind of place we come from."

"How do you know?"

"Because we're talking about breaking the laws of physics! That's not exactly a car ride from one destination to the next."

"True, but come on! Anything is possible with Dust!"

"I doubt they will believe us."

"Well they can hear our conversation now, we're not exactly whispering."

Winter then realized that the man and his daughter probably heard everything they just said.

"Besides, the one bunny girl is dressed as a cop! Maybe they can help us find daddy!"

"Uh…erg….ugh…." Winter had a headache from this whole situation.

Not from her daughter's logic, just from the fact that this whole situation was driving her crazy.

"Lady?"

Winter glared. " _Winter_."

"Right," Colt drawled. "Now…you think you could expand on what you two were openly talking about just now?"

Winter tensed a bit.

"And don't try to run. Please? You don't want to. Your daughter doesn't want to. I personally don't want you to. Violet?"

Violet gives a stern look. "No sudden moves, or you'll be introduced to Mr. Taser."

…

…

Colt rubbed his eyes at that and sighed. "Right, just…explain yourself. Tell me your story. And don't lie, please."

Winter bit her lip. If she told Colt the truth, he'd think she was crazy!

Nala tugged on Winter's pants and gave a smile.

Winter stared…then sighed.

"Oh, very well."

Winter took one long breath and….

"I'm Winter Schnee, but not the Winter Schnee of this dimension. I actually come from another version of Remnant. My sister's team and another ended up getting involved in a Dust accident that transported them to some world called 'Earth'. I followed them through, where I met Nala's father, and then I was sent back, but then somehow through a freak accident due to a Dust bullet, the man I met came to Remnant, where we got engaged-."

She held up her hand to demonstrate.

"And then we were taking a family vacation in which we were then blasted off to this Remnant by another freak Dust accident. Nala and I ended up here, while my fiancé, Jem, is…somewhere else. I'm not sure where, though. And we'd really appreciate it if you could help us find him."

She sighed in relief at getting all that out, then waited for the man's response.

Colt, for his part, just stood there, taking everything she just said in.

Violet stared up in confusion, then looked to Nala.

"So…you two are aliens?"

"Yup! A human and Faunus from another planet! Right, Mommy?"

Winter smiled. "Yes, dear."

Nala beamed.

Violet pouted and mumbled. "I want a mommy."

She glared up at Colt, who ignored her indignation in favor of rubbing his chin.

"…What country did you meet the guy in?"

Winter blinked. "H-How would you know of-?"

"What. _Country_?"

She narrowed her eyes. "…America."

"Alright…which _state_?"

"Illinois."

"What year did you meet him, and when did he arrive on Remnant? I'd wager it was somewhere in the 2010s?"

"2016 and 2018, respectively."

Winter suddenly had a bit of hope, yet the rational part of her mind warned her that this couldn't be real.

This man couldn't possibly believe her, could he? What she said was crazy! And yet this man is asking specific questions regarding Earth….

Almost as though he _knew_ of it.

But that couldn't possibly be it…could it?

"Alright, one last thing."

He leaned forward a bit. "…Let it go~. Let it go~. Can't hold it back any-."

"NO!" Winter screamed. "I get enough Frozen references from Jem! I don't need to be reminded every single day about how either I or Weiss resemble Elsa!"

Seriously! Jem just kept with the Frozen references! It was a little annoying at first, but it started grating on her nerves! And furthermore-!

…

…

This man knew Frozen.

An _Earth_ movie.

Winter's mouth fell. "You…you know about Earth?"

"Lady-, no," Colt corrected. " _Winter_...you're not the only one with a crazy story to tell."

He tipped his hat with a grin. "Now, let's see if we can find this 'Jem' guy."

* * *

 _(Jem POV)_

Jem was currently munching on a cooked lizard on a stick. Surprisingly it tasted better than the squirrel. So he didn't mind it so much.

He sat down for a bit to rest and catch his breath, laying his weapon by his side as he cracked his neck a few times.

He took another bite out of the lizard before he looked around.

"Am I taking this too seriously?" he asked himself as he pulled out a tiny hand mirror.

Sure enough, he was going a bit nuts. He currently had Celtic war paint on his face. He didn't know why. He thinks it was because he thought it looked badass. His wolf cloak was still in good shape. He was actually considering keeping it after this whole fiasco.

It was _soooooo_ warm!

"Seriously, how the heck can PETA not like wearing fur?" He said to himself as he took another bite of the lizard….

"And now I'm talking to myself."

Yep, Jem wasn't sure if he was having a good time or not.

On one hand, he got to try survival tactics he had learned in Alaska. On the other hand, it hadn't been that long since he had been here, and he still wasn't any closer to finding Winter and Nala. He had been looking all over the place, but he still couldn't find anything….

There was a bright side, however.

He didn't hear any screams, and he didn't come across any grisly sites. So, he was certain that they were safe. After all, Winter was armed, so he was certain she would be able to handle things.

But he couldn't help but worry. After all, it was his fiance and his daughter. Seriously, they still needed to set a date for the wedding. They tried to a few times, but work and trying to help the world always got in the way.

It didn't help that Winter had pretty much conscripted him into the Atlesian army, so that kept their schedules pretty busy. That and they still couldn't decide if they wanted the wedding to be on Remnant or in the US.

So yeah, shit happens.

"You know, this place looked so much easier to navigate on the show."

He took a step through some brush, only to find nothing but trees yet again.

Seriously, this place could turn him the biggest eco terrorist into the CEO of a logging company. He had been here for about a few hours now, and already he was considering destroying all of mature.

"Okay…just relax." He took a small sip of moonshine to medicate himself.

 _Truly_ the drink of the gods! If Jesus turned water into moonshine, he was certain that the last supper would have been unforgettable.

…And now he might be going to hell for thinking of that.

Or Valhalla.

He still hadn't decided if he was still Catholic or following the ways of Asatru. It was a bit confusing. The point was he wasn't sure. But now wasn't the time to be thinking about that! He needed to get back on track.

"Okay let me think…how did Ruby and Weiss make it to the temple in the show?" He thought back to when he watched it.

"…Never mind, that won't work. There's no Nevermore's near me." He shook his head of the thought.

He was crazy enough to hitch a ride on a nevermore, but that plan wouldn't work for a few reasons.

1) He wasn't sure if he could survive a fall from that height.

2) How would he even hitch a ride on a nevermore?

3) How was he sure it would go where he wanted?

4) Winter would kick his ass if he did that.

He chuckled a bit at the last part. He remembered when he dropped into the mouth of that weird snake Grimm at Beacon. And she was _pissed_ off. Granted she forgave him eventually, but he got a lecture after that.

 _"For Oum's sake! If you ever do something that insanely stupid again, I will send you to whatever afterlife you wish!"_

Yeah, she forgave him eventually. And he knew she would never kill him. At worst, it was a very painful slap, at best it was…well…you know…Bow chika wow wow.

And of course sometimes she made him sleep on the couch. But he planned ahead, he had a pull out couch with a memory foam mattress, so he could still get a good night's sleep. And that was worth its weight in gold when he made Winter mad and she wouldn't let him sleep in the bed.

He had no idea why his thoughts went from finding his family to pull out couches. But he supposed it had something to do with the fact he was bored out of his mind. Which wasn't really his fault because the only thing to do in this forest was to watch out for Grimm.

You couldn't even enjoy the landscape, because you were constantly worried about a Grimm popping out and trying to eat you like Rosie O'Donnell at an all-you-can-eat buffet.

"Finally! Something besides…trees…." Jem was trailing off at the end as he came across a cave.

But not just any cave. He knew this cave. This cave was familiar to him.

And why is that? Well because he had seen it before. This was the cave where Jaune and Pyrrha met the Deathstalker in Volume 1.

"Yeah I remember, this is where Jaune screamed like a little girl."

He chuckled a bit at the memory.

"Sun's going down," he said as he saw the sun was starting to set.

Ignoring the obvious Bear Grylls meme that popped into his head about the sun going down, he realized he needed a place to stay for the night.

"Well, the Deathstalker should be gone, so nothing to worry abo-."

 **GRRRRRRR.**

"…Please no."

Sure enough, as if God or Odin was giving him a giant middle finger from the sky. He saw a Deathstalker slowly walk out of the cave, wondering who had made that noise. And it's multiple eyes locking onto Jem.

"…Shit."

 **GGGGRRRRRRR.**

"I don't suppose you could go back into your cave?"

The only response he got was a growl.

"Well good thing for bullets." He aimed his rifle at the death stalker, knowing he could use an explosive round.

 **CLICK!**

"What the?" He tired cocking his Winchester again, but it came up empty.

"That's not right!" He said as he was out of bullets.

"No, no, no!" He said as he reached for the bullets on his belt.

Only to find that his bandolier was missing.

"That's not right! My bandolier was on my belt!"

Where the hell was it?

…Wait a minute.

He got smacked by an Ursa earlier, and since then he felt lighter…shit.

It must have come off during that fight!

He started shaking with uncontrollable rage.

…

…

"FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCCKK!"

The Deathstalker actually reeled back slightly at that.

"Okay, I'm cool," he said, calming himself down. "I'm cool. I'm fine. I'm relaxed."

He quickly pondered what to do now.

"Well….I can't run, because that would be pointless. I got no bullets, so…only one thing to do." Jem said as he shifted Red Dawn into Tomahawk and knife form.

He pulled the wolf hood over his head, preparing for combat.

"Hey you know, I ate a scorpion once on a dare…it was dead of course, think it was one of your relatives?"

For the first time in Grimm history, a Grimm actually managed to make a facial expression.

The Deathstalker deadpanned.

"Okay, obviously not."

Jem figured he could beat this thing. Sure it was bigger than anything else he had ever fought. But considering that he had good luck on his side, and he had experience fighting Grimm, he should be able to hold it off until it got tired.

"Wait….I got an idea." He grinned as he knew how to get out of this without fighting it.

"AAHHHHH!" He ran towards it.

Now normally people would consider this crazy. But then he jumped up into the air, and on top of it.

"Just got to do…THIS!" He yelled as he dug his tomahawk and knife into the Deathstalker's back armor plating.

Now…this was not enough to kill him. What it did do however was-.

 **ROOOAAAARR!**

Piss him off and start to make him buck like a horse.

"WOOO HOOOO! GET ALONG LITTLE DOGGY!" he yelled out as he was using his tomahawk and knife as handle bars.

Yes….he was riding the Deathstalker like a horse.

And yes…he was slightly drunk.

But it was actually smart, while he couldn't kill it, the Deathstalker wouldn't take a risk stinging itself. So all he had to do was stay on long enough to tire it out, and hopefully he could run away when it was too tired to chase him.

Only one problem with this plan.

"OH SHIT!"

The Deathstalker was really strong and Jem had to hold on for dear life. But at least he could say one thing for certain...

This was not one of his best ideas.

* * *

 **MAO: Well, guess it shouldn't be surprising that Colt buys Winter's story.**

 **JC: Yeah, and now we have Jem deciding to go all professional bull rider on a Deathstalker.**

 **MAO: ...Eh, I'm sure he'll be fine. Or at the very least, last long enough until someone notices him. Wasn't luck his thing or something?**

 **JC: Yeah it is, that and he has a bit of moonshine in him, imagine how Colt is going to handle that?**

 **MAO: Ah yes. The headaches to be had.**

 ***sighs***

 **MAO: Well, you all know the drill. If you liked this and want to be kept up to date, be sure to follow and fav. Leave a review while you're at it! We'd love to hear from you guys.**

 **JC: In the meantime, may your beer stay cold, and your steak stay rare!**

 **MAO: See you in the next update!**

 **MAO & JC: LATERS!**


	4. Colt Meets Jem

**MAO: Hey everybody! Here again with JC of the Corn for another installment of It's My Turn to feel Out of Place!**

 **JC: And boy do we have a treat for you, when we last left our heroes, Jem started to ride a Deathstalker like a rider at the Kentucky derby, and Colt seems to have been introduced to Jem's family…and so far…he's still sane.**

 **MAO: Well, that's probably because I haven't met Jem yet. Winter and Nala are "normal" compared to that guy.**

 **JC: Fair enough, oh but what insanity awaits poor little 'ole Colt in this chapter?**

 **MAO: Let's find out. On with the chapter!**

 **JC: Yep! Sound the horn of war!**

* * *

 _Disclaimer: Neither I nor JC of the Corn own RWBY. Cover image by sumopiggy on Deviantart._

* * *

 _(Colt 1st POV)_

I casually walked down the hallway that lead to the Beacon Security room, with Violet, Winter, and the now-named Nala (I'll process the fact she's based off a Lion King character later) in tow. Nala seemed to be walking a little too close to Violet, but I didn't see a problem in that.

"So," the other Winter began. "You are from Earth as well?"

"Eeyup.

"How did you end up on Remnant, then? Did someone from here end up on Earth like with us?"

I grimaced. "Er, not really. I got here the…hard way."

She looked confused. "The hard way?"

"All I can say is that it seemed like something that Robot Chicken would come up with for one of their sketches."

She winced. "Best not let Jem hear that. He absolutely _loathes_ that show."

"What? It's awesome!"

"He doesn't think the same."

"…Eh, to each his own, I guess."

We finally reached the security room. I unlocked the door and stepped inside, the other three following.

"Why are we here?" Nala asked innocently. "Shouldn't we be looking for my Daddy?"

"I agree," the other Winter said.

I smirked, then bopped Nala on the nose with my finger, earning a pout from the little lioness.

"Well, Nala, allow me to explain to all three of you."

I moved to the chair near the keyboard terminal of the cameras and sat down. I began to press some buttons as I continued.

"Back on Earth, I was a _very_ avid reader of RWBY fanfiction, reading all kinds of stories the fandom came up with. Except any yuri or yaoi stories. Or anything that focused too much on Yang. Those weren't my cup of tea."

Not that I have anything against gays or lesbians, mind you. Hell, I had a gay cousin in the family. Granted, I didn't realize it until my final few years on Earth, but it was more a surprise than a bother….

Point is, I don't read yaoi or yuri.

"What's wrong with Auntie Yang?" Nala asked innocently.

"…Yeah, I don't want to get into that right now."

"But-."

"My word is law."

Nala pouted, while Violet gave her shoulder a sympathetic pat.

"It's okay. I know how you feel."

…Those two really are adorable.

"Now," I continued. " _Some_ of those stories I've read have been people sent to Remnant, be it crossover or not."

Winter frowned. "And this relates to finding my fiancé how?"

"Because almost _every_ single time a person is sent to Remnant in those stories, there is one common place they end up in."

I pushed one more button, and the camera feeds switched to that of a place near Beacon.

"The Emerald Forest."

Winter crossed her arms. "So you're only basis on where Jem could be centers around _fanfiction_?"

"…Pretty much, yeah."

…

…

The other Winter deadpanned at me. "That's completely ridicu-."

"THERE HE IS!" Nala shouted, pointing at a camera screen.

Sure enough, there was a man who was…currently riding a Deathstalker like a bull….

Before I address that-.

I smirked at the other Winter. "You were saying?"

She grumbled to herself.

I took a closer look at the man (Jem, apparently) in the picture. He had a bald head and a scruffy beard, and was apparently wearing a wolf skin. He was using what looked like a tomahawk to hang on to the Deathstalker.

I'm gonna be honest, here. This guy looks like a hillbilly redneck…or a savage….

Or both.

 _This_ was the fiancé of the Winter Schnee with me right now? _The_ Winter Schnee?

I turned to Winter. "Is that _really_ your fiancé?"

"Yes," she answered.

"…You sure about that?"

"I am."

"Positive?"

" _Yes_."

…

…

" _Him_?" I emphasized with my thumb.

She glared at me. "Is that a problem?"

"N-No, no! Just…surprising."

Guess this was one of those "more than meets the eye" situations. Or like the movie "She's Out of My League".

The other Winter chuckled. "I suppose it is surprising. Someone of my stature with a…redneck. But I found he was quite charming. He can be a dumbass sometimes, but I love him all the same."

She sounded so sure of herself that I believed her.

I suddenly found myself back to a thought I had when I first met the Winter I knew.

 _But in terms of me and Winter…I wasn't_ that _lucky._

…

…

I mean, if a guy like _this_ can be with a Winter, then maybe…no, that's stupid….

But then again-.

"Shouldn't we be helping Daddy?"

Oh right. The guy's dealing with a Deathstalker right now.

I turned to the other Winter. "Don't suppose you can say for certain he can last until I get there?"

She bit her lip. "His Semblance is practically good luck, so I would imagine so."

"…" I sighed. "Well in my experience, luck runs out."

I stood up. "You three wait here."

Nala protested. "But it's my daddy!"

"I understand that, but you definitely can't come along."

The other Winter stepped forward. "Then I'm coming along with you."

"No."

She gawked. "What?"

"You can't leave Nala alone, and I'd like it if you'd watch Violet for me. Besides, I need to get to your fiancé fast, and the only way to do that will only allow one person."

The other Winter narrowed her eyes. "How do you plan to get to him?"

To answer for her, I pulled out my scroll and sent a text.

…

…

Neo appeared in the room.

"What the-?!" (Other Winter)

"Eep!" (Nala)

"Ice cream lady!" (Violet)

Neo smirked at the three, then turned to me with a raised eyebrow.

"Yeah, long story short: a guy's out in the Emerald Forest with a Deathstalker, and I need to get to him fast."

She looked at the video feed of the guy, then nodded.

 **YEAH, I CAN TELEPORT YOU THERE.**

"Awesome."

The other Winter spoke. "Wait a minute, why is Neopolitan here? Shouldn't she be considered a criminal at this point?"

Neo sent me another raised eyebrow.

 **WHAT'S UP WITH THE ICE QUEEN?**

"Hey!"

I sighed. "Another long story short: this is a Winter from an alternate universe."

…

…

 **WHAT?**

"Neo! Explain later! Guy! Deathstalker! Trouble! Please?!"

She giggled at my outburst and gave a nod.

I turned to the other three. "You three stay here. Violet, if anyone else shows up, just pretend this Winter is our Winter until I get back. If _our_ Winter shows up…explain as best you can."

Violet nodded. "Okay!"

I sent a smile to Nala. "Don't worry, kid. I'll get your father back."

She narrowed her eyes. "You better! Or else I'll give you my patented Nala kick!"

"…Good to know."

The other Winter spoke. "Please get him back safe."

"Don't worry, I will."

I turned to Neo. "I'm ready."

With a nod, she grabbed my arm, and I felt the turning of my insides that indicated we were teleporting.

* * *

 _(Jem POV)_

"Yee-aay-ee!" Jem let out a rebel yell as he continued to ride the Deathstalker.

In all honesty, this was a very stupid decision. But the adrenaline coursing through his veins was too good of a rush to give up.

So, he continued to hold on for dear life. Because this was one amazing feeling. This must be what Steve Irwin felt whenever he wrestled a crocodile….god rest his soul. Jem would have offered a prayer for Steve Irwin if he wasn't so busy focusing on not getting flung off.

 **HISSSSSSS!**

The Deathstalker was obviously not happy with Jem. The annoying human wouldn't let go, and the Grimm had never been so frustrated with hunting! Usually it would have to hunt for its food, but this tasty little morsel made its way to its cave, so it thought it had gotten lucky.

But _noooooo_! What it thought would be an easy meal turned out to be the exact opposite. This human was a PAIN IN THE ASS!

"OH I WISH I WAS IN DIXIE! HOORAY! HOORAY! IN DIXIELAND I'LL TAKE MY STAND! LIVE AND DIE IN DIXIE!"

Jem had no idea why he was singing Dixieland.

It might have had something to do with the fact his Dad was from Dixie and used to sing it all the time when he was a kid….maybe that was why he had a bunch of old confederate artifacts in his room?

Then again, both Jem and his Dad were huge civil war buffs. It got to the point where his Dad had to explain the reason why they had portraits of General Robert E Lee and General Ulysses S Grant sharing a wall together.

Needless to say, visitors always found that weird.

Wait, where was Jem?

Oh right.

"WWOOOOOO HOOOOO!" Jem despite being scared shitless was having the time of his life.

"Damn, now if only I was actually southern…."

Jem didn't feel like he did the Rebel yell right. Oh well, too late to think of that now.

"COME ON MR. CLAWS!" That was another thing that pissed the Deathstalker off.

The human had the gall to give it a _nickname_! How humiliating!

As if riding it like some common work horse wasn't bad enough, now it had to deal with stupidity such as this man. Now Grimm may not have sentient thoughts. But if they did, the Deathstalker would have only one thought on its mind.

 _ **"I am going to enjoy eviscerating this puny human!"**_

 **FLING!**

"NOOOOOOOOO!" Jem yelled at the top of his lungs.

Oh he was still on the Deathstalker, but his flask of moonshine went flying.

"DAMN IT!" Jem yelled as he couldn't let go now.

"MY GRANDMOTHER MADE ME THAT FLASK!" Jem yelled as his memories went back to his Meemaw.

See, he had two grandmothers. Grandmama and Meemaw, one who was the Italian, and the other was a southerner descended from southern civil war heroes….

AND SHE COULD MAKE ONE HELL OF A BATCH OF MOONSHINE!

She made him that flask as a gift when he was eight years old…huh, it's almost like she knew he would grow up to love booze.

He saw the flask go into the distance, his hand reaching out as if he was reaching for his first born son.

"Muh booooooze." Jem was a tough guy, but seeing his moonshine fly off like that made him want to cry.

"AHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!" Jem pulled his Tomahawk and knife out of the Deathstalker as it was taking a short rest.

"DIE! DIE! DIE! DIE! DIE! DIE!" He started viciously stabbing it in the back. The pain of losing his booze was too much. However, in his pain he didn't realize the Deathstalker realized he wasn't holding on.

"Uh oh…" Jem realized he may have made a bad decision.

 **HISSSSS!**

"AAAAAHHHHHHHHHH!"

Jem was launched off its back in the same direction as his flask. Jem still had his weapons in hand. But what was in front of him was so much more important. The light returned to his eyes as he saw something else flying through the air.

"MR. BOOZE!" He yelled as he saw his flask.

Yes! He named his flask. Hey, don't judge, some people do that. The point was he saw Mr. Booze! He could get him!

"I'll save you!" He yelled as he stuck his hands forward like Superman.

Meanwhile the Deathstalker was back on the ground following its target.

Some would ask why it chose to follow him. Well the answer was simple, Jem had managed to piss it off and humiliate it so much that all it wanted to do was slowly kill him.

If it was to let him go now, it would not be able to feel the satisfaction of killing Jem with its own bare pincers.

So it was out for revenge.

"JUST A LITTLE MORE!" He yelled as a Bullhead was passing by.

* * *

 _(On the Bullhead)_

"I do say Bart, it really is relaxing to just come out here and watch the forest from above," Professor Port said as both were drinking a special brew of coffee. "Ah yes, nothing quite like-"

Suddenly they heard a voice.

"GET THE FUCK OUT OF MY WAY!"

They turned to see an angry bald bearded man flying towards them, his arms extended out like a superhero.

The image of an angry wolf head stared at them as the man got closer and closer. They saw a small object also fly through the bullhead, but they just assumed they were seeing things. In fact…now they hoped they were seeing things.

"HOLY SH-!" The man flew through the open portion of the bullhead and continued to soar though the air.

…

…

"Bart, did….did we just see a man fly by?" Port was so shocked he ACTUALLY opened his eyes.

"Yes…I think we did…."

Port and Oobleck looked down at their coffee cups. They both poured both beverages out the window.

The pilot told them the brew was special, but he didn't warn them that he put hallucinogens in the brew!

* * *

 _(Back to the plot)_

"I GOT YOU!" Jem was closing in on Mr. Booze.

Three feet.

...

His arm extended.

…

Two feet

….

His hand at the ready!

...

One foot

…

He yelled in fury.

...

He got it.

"YES! YES! OH MR. BOOZE! I'LL NEVER LOSE YOU AGAIN!" Jem held his flask to his chest like a newborn baby.

"Wait…." He suddenly realized something.

…

…

"Oh…titty sprinkles."

He looked down to notice he was about to crash into a boulder.

"AHHHH!"

 **SMASH!**

The Deathstalker burst into the clearing. It looked around for his target. Only to find that there was a boulder with a very sizable man made mark in it. There was no way that puny human could survive that.

"Owwwwwwww…" It heard a groan of pain from the indent in the boulder.

 _ **"NO FREAKING WAY!"**_ is what it would have thought if it had sentient thought.

"Hey Mr. Claws! Sorry! I'm still alive! But I think my arm is broken! I can't feel it...but that might just be the booze!"

That damned voice was yelling! HOW WAS HE STILL ALIVE?!

"Thank Jesus and Odin for Good Luck semblances! Otherwise I would be dead! OH! HEY! We're alright! I just have a sprained arm! COOL!"

Jem then fell out of the indent in the boulder.

The Deathstalker felt like crying in shame. _This_ was the human giving it a hard time?! ARE YOU KIDDING?!

"I GOT MR. BOOZE BACK!" He held up his flask in victory.

It had a smiley face on it. There was a label on top with words written in crayon that looked like they were written by a child. Do you know how weird it is to see a flask with a label on it in crayon that says 'Mr. Booze'?

If the Deathstalker was human, it would be facepalming.

"Well my Aura should heal me up! Isn't that wonderful!" Jem said as he took another sip of booze.

 **HISSSSSSSS!**

"Oh yeah…I'm supposed to be fighting you, aren't I?"

If the Deathstalker had any more hatred for this man…it would rival Salem's hate for humans..

"Well, here we go." He said as his sprained arm was healed enough to fight.

"N-NOW, H-HOLD ON T-THERE!" A voice yelled out.

Jem and the Deathstalker turned to find…some guy in security getup, a cowboy hat, and shades. He was currently panting, his hands on his knees.

 _Who the hell is this guy?_ Jem thought.

" _ **Who dares interrupt my chance at bloody vengeance?!"**_ is what the Deathstalker would've if it had a sentient thought.

* * *

 _(Colt 1st POV)_

These…fucking…two….

 _Why_? Why did the guy have to go and get himself _flung_ like that?!

Neo had teleported me to where Jem and the Deathstalker were, but then the guy got himself flung away like a bug. The Deathstalker gave chase, forcing me to chase after it on foot cause Neo (who I told to return to Beacon to get the explanation from the other three) couldn't teleport somewhere unless she knew where specifically she was going or had been there before. And since she doesn't know exactly where the guy was gonna land….

Needless to say, I was out of breath from all the running, even with Aura boosting me.

"J-Just…l-let me catch my breath, now."

In…out.

In…out.

In…out.

…Okay, I'm good.

I stood back up as the guy, Jem, looked at me weirdly.

"Am I a little drunk right now? Or is there a mall security guard here? Because I swear to God I didn't steal anything!"

…

…

Wait, what?

I blinked. "Um…n-no, I'm not mall security. I got a worried Winter and a little lion girl named Nala back where I work, the latter of whom misses her father very much. Are you Jem?"

Jem looked ecstatic. "Yes, that's me! They're alright? Really? Oh thank Jesus and Odin! Thanks! Now if you excuse me, I have to kill this oversized Clash of the Titans rip-off."

…Clash of the Titans. Now that takes me back. Only know the remake, though. Never got to see the original. Shame, but oh well.

I raised an eyebrow. "And you plan to do that _how_?"

"Simple," he shrugged. "I'm going to run up and stab it a fuck load of times."

…He says that like it's the easiest thing in the world.

I walked towards him. "I don't think that'll work. Can you even get through its armor?"

He shrugged. "I don't know. Probably not. I mean, I killed a giant snake thingy, but that was only because it ate me and I gutted it from the inside...this is a lot harder."

…

…

That…was certainly an image to picture.

I stopped next to him. "Well, I'd rather avoid either of us getting eaten alive."

I cupped my chin. "Still, though. Killing it from the inside might be the only way to go."

But how, though?

I absentmindedly pat the belt that had my grenades as I tried to think of a way to-.

…Wait a minute.

I looked down at the grenades on my waist.

Bingo.

"What if we stuff grenades in its mouth?"

Jem grinned madly. "What an excellent idea! And I'm not just saying that because I'm slightly drunk!"

…

…

I slowly turned my head towards him.

"What?" he asked.

"…How in the hell are you and Winter together?"

"I have no idea! It's weird when you consider how much I'm like my dad!"

…I'm afraid to ask.

"And what exactly is your dad li-?"

The Deathstalker roared, reminding us of the situation at hand.

Thank god. I don't think I want to know what his father's like. I hope I _never_ find out.

"Oh right, forgot about you."

The Deathstalker somehow looked indignant at that.

"Jem, I need you to distract it while I get in close. Can you do that?"

"Can I do it? CAN I DO IT?!"

Jem then proceeded to tilt the wolf head onto his head.

"COME ON YOU OVERGROWN PARASITE! VALHALLA AWAITS!"

…

…

Yup, this guy's gonna be a pain in my ass and the bringer of many headaches.

I can already tell.

* * *

 _(Jem POV)_

Alright! Time for Jem to kill a bitch!

Wait…do Grimm have genders? Did it matter if Jem called it a bitch or bastard? What if this was a bastard he was about to kill? Did Grimm even have genitalia?

Jem isn't able to ponder this great mystery as the Deathstalker charges at him.

The guy that showed up turned invisible.

"HAVE AT THEE FOUL BEAST!" Jem shouted.

Jem wasn't nearly as drunk as usual, and the thought of actual combat excited him….

"Wait a second, did that guy just turn invis-?"

Jem was cut off as he was smacked into a tree.

"OH YOU OVERGROWN COAT HANGER DODGER!"

Jem ran back and flipped it off.

The Deathstalker roared and stabbed its stinger towards Jem.

"HA HA!" Jem dodged out of the way as he hooked his tomahawk into its stinger.

"GOING FOR A RIDE!"

The Deathstalker started to swing its stinger all over the place trying to get him off.

This was humiliating! First the damn human had annoyed him. Then, it ignored him for another human. And now, it was making a mockery of it!

It was a child of Salem for crying out loud! It shouldn't be having this much trouble!

"SAVE A HORSE! RIDE A COWBOY!"

The Deathstalker now only saw red.

That's it!

It stabbed its stinger to the ground with enough force to have Jem fly into the air.

The Deathstalker grabbed him with its claw.

"Ack!"

Well, shit. Jem got caught.

If the Deathstalker could grin, it would. At last, it had this annoying human in its hands! Finally, it would exact its vengeance upon this human!

Nothing could ruin this for the Grimm! Absolutely noth-!

The guy in the security getup from before suddenly appeared before the Deathstalker's eyes.

"Hello!"

The Deathstalker blinked and roared in shock.

This turned out to be a bad idea since the human stuffed some sort of bundle into its throat.

"And goodbye!"

The security guy pulled out his revolver and aimed inside the open mouth.

He fired.

 **BOOM!**

The Deathstalker's face exploded, the force sending the guy flying backwards.

The Grimm's body slumped, its claw letting go of Jem.

Jem calmly stood up and dusted himself off as if nothing happened.

He walked up to the slowly dissipating corpse. "I think it's broken."

Jem had one thing to do before the Grimm's corpse could fully dissipate….

"This is for almost making me lose Mr. Booze!"

The sound of a zipper was heard and the sound of liquid hitting the corpse soon followed.

* * *

 _(Colt 1st POV)_

I blinked as I regained my senses after that explosion...

Note to self: try to get a safe distance before shooting at explosives rather than shoot at them point blank.

The sound of what I could only assume was peeing made itself known.

I raised my head forward to find Jem pissing on the Deathstalker's corpse before it could fully dissipate.

…

…

"Seriously? I asked.

The hell was up with this guy?

"Oh," Jem said. "Forgot you were here."

Jem zipped his pants back up, apparently having forgotten for a moment I was here.

He walked up and looked down at me. "You alright?"

I groaned. "Yeah, just…now I know never to shoot point blank at explosives."

Admittedly, that's supposed to be a given, but I had Aura.

Still, that shit hurt.

"By the way," Jem asked. "I never got your name."

Oh right. Never got to introductions cause of the Grimm.

"I'm Colt. Colt Remington."

Jem held his hand out. "Jeremiah Cotton. Or just Jem for short."

I took his hand as he helped me up.

"So you say Winter and my little girl are alright? No bumps? No bruises? I don't have to scalp anyone again?"

I dusted myself off. "Yes, they're fine and-."

I paused as my brain processed that last part of his line of questioning.

"Wait…did you say _scalp_ someone? The fuck?!"

Before Jem could say anything in response, a Bullhead arrived.

I sighed. "Guess they finally sent someone."

The Bullhead landed, the side doors opening. Nala came running out, with Winter (Jem's fiance) following after at a calmer pace.

"DADDY!"

She jumped towards Jem.

"NALA!" He responded by picking up the little Lion girl and holding her close.

"Are you alright?!" He said as he looked her over.

"Yes, Daddy! We're fine!" She said as she hugged him.

His Winter finally reached him and crossed her arms. "Really? Riding a Deathstalker?"

Winter was kind of mad but she couldn't help but crack a smile.

"I was out of bullets," he responded.

Live Free or Die Hard…another movie I miss.

"Here," the other Winter said, holding out a bandolier. "We found this in a tree."

Jem happily took his bandolier back.

"I was so worried! You both were gone! And I killed and ate a wolf! And then I ate a squirrel! And then a lizard-!"

…Yup. He's a redneck, alright.

"How long was I gone?" he asked.

"About an hour," the other Winter answered.

"Huh...weird. Felt longer to me."

"...You drank moonshine to calm your nerves didn't you?"

"Well…I had to fight three Ursa, so-."

"That's a yes."

"Yeah."

Nice banter. Despite my earlier thoughts, I guess I can see the chemistry these two have.

"So where to now?" he asked.

"Back to Beacon." Winter said as Jem looked confused.

"Beacon? But it's been destroyed."

Winter scratched the back of her head.

"Um…it's a long story."

Jem pulled out his flask and sighed.

"Am I going to-?"

Suddenly Nala snatched his flask.

"Hey!"

"You heard what Uncle Ironwood said! If you drink too much, he would have you shot!"

"If I was one of Ironwood's men, I'd shoot myself!"

Heh. Qrow's line.

I'm pretty sure shooting someone for drinking too much is a _bit_ much, but I'm not about to dwell on it. I don't need the headache. Not when I'm bound to have so many in the very near future.

Burying that thought, I couldn't help but smile at the family reunion. It was heartwarming, really….

And apparently I was about to have one myself. If the sudden weight on my leg was anything to go by.

"Daddy!"

I looked down with a smile. "Hey, Violet."

…

…

Wait a minute.

I raised an eyebrow. "Wait, what are you doing here? And what are _they_ doing here, while I'm at it?"

Violet fidgeted a bit. "Well-."

" _Ahem_."

I froze...then looked up to find a rather irate Winter.

 _My_ Winter.

I chuckled nervously. "H-Hey Winter. H-How's it going?"

Her glare did nothing to settle my nerves.

"…W…W-." Jem's brain was confused.

"Two…Winters…."

Jem stared into his flask to see if he had drunken too much.

"I'm not _that_ drunk am I?" he asked.

The other Winter sighed. "No…not this time, anyway."

Nala giggled. "Daddy, that long story? It's also crazy. But that's normal for us!"

The other Winter sighed. "I wish it wasn't."

The Winter I knew crossed her arms.

"Care to enlighten me as to why there's _another_ me standing with us?" she asked with a glare. "As well as two other unknown individuals?"

I sighed.

This was certainly gonna be a treat to explain.

* * *

 **MAO: And so Colt and Jem finally meet! And what a way to meet. Nothing like fighting a giant scorpion of death to represent the meeting of two characters from different stories.**

 **JC: Especially when one of them is the equivalent of a drunk redneck Deadpool, and the other is kind of like Wolverine…in terms of having to put up with Jem that is.**

 **MAO: Ah yes...that'll be fun to deal with. Just as fun (if not more so) as Colt having to explain Jem and family being there to** _ **his**_ **Winter. And obviously others.**

 **JC: And don't forget, imagine Qrow's surprise when he learns that Jem is his son from another world...who was born of another Qrow from Another world...damn these realities are confusing.**

 **MAO: Yup, certainly headache-inducing.**

 ***clears throat***

 **MAO: You all know the drill. If you liked this and want to be kept up to date, be sure to follow and fav. Leave a review while you're at it! We'd love to hear from you guys.**

 **JC: Ta-ta for now!**

 **MAO: LATERS!**


	5. Explanation and Misunderstanding

**MAO: Hello, everyone! Le MAO here with JC for another installment of It's My Turn to feel Out of Place!**

 ***Sound of a motorcycle roaring comes through***

 **JC: WOOOOO!**

 ***Stops in front***

 **JC: Hey guys! I'm back! So what are we doing today?**

 ***MAO stares at the motorcycle***

 **MAO: ...Right. Well let's see, last we left off Colt and Jem had to take on a Deathstalker. They won, obviously, and are now gonna have to explain Jem and co's situation to those not in the know. So...yeah, that's what's happening.**

 **JC: Yeah, surprisingly their first meeting went well, Colt is still sane, but~...give it time**

 **MAO: Oh joy. Well, without further delay, let's get on with the chapter!**

 ***JC revs the engine***

 **JC: I'll go and get the beer!**

 **MAO: But I don't want-.**

 ***JC drives off in search of beer***

 **...**

 **...**

 **MAO: *sighs* Enjoy the chapter.**

* * *

 _Disclaimer: Neither I nor JC own RWBY. Cover image by sumopiggy on Deviantart._

* * *

 _(Third POV)_

"…" Jem was looking around Ozpin's office.

After being found, Jem, Winter, and Nala were taken to Ozpin's office. Jem stood there with his fiance while his daughter was off in a corner chilling next to the little bunny girl from earlier. Ozpin sat in his usual seat, with Glynda standing beside him. Qrow was leaning against a pillar with crossed arms, and the other Winter was standing on the other side of the room with arms behind her back. Colt himself was leaning against one of the windows near the other Winter.

He still didn't know what to think of this whole situation. First, he gets separated from Winter and Nala and has to survive in the wild. Although, to his disappointment, he put way too much work into surviving for only an hour. Not only that, but Winter, or _his_ Winter he should say, took Jem's flask from Nala to keep away from him for the time being.

And that was another thing! How were there _two_ Winters?! Sure he had a sexual fantasy about that one time, but there was no way it could be real! That and the other Winter didn't seem too keen with him at first. Something told him that she didn't like him that much. Then again, she had also been giving _his_ Winter weird looks.

He honestly didn't know what to think. This whole situation was giving him a headache. Winter tried to explain to him what happened when he was gone, but so far all he could gather was somehow they were in another Remnant.

So in other words, the Dust that first brought him to Remnant wasn't just interdimensional? It was…what do you call it? Double interdimensional? Super dimensional? Why was he having these thoughts? Life was weird.

The point was, Beacon was still around. And Jem now had some real clothes. As it turns out, they had a spare leather jacket for him to use, but he was still keeping his wolf cloak. It was just that awesome! But for now, it was in storage.

But that had nothing to do with his current situation.

"Um…nice weather we're having?" Jem said as he saw Ozpin sitting at his desk.

The man frowned. "Now is not the time for idle talk."

Ozpin honestly didn't know what to think. This whole situation was too fantastic and crazy even for him. A Winter from another world who seemed to be dating a man who was her exact opposite. In fact, for some reason Ozpin was reminded of Qrow when he looked at the young man. But he was sure that was nothing.

"OH FUDGE NUGGETS!" Jem suddenly yelled out like he was crazy.

"Daddy?" Nala asked as she had no idea why her daddy suddenly freaked out.

"My Harley is still at base camp!"

Jem was suddenly worried. He bought that motorcycle as a gift to himself back on Earth, and now it was left behind! Granted, it was a little weird since his truck was also there. As it turns out, Winter thought that Nala would be safer in the truck versus riding with her dad on his motorcycle. And Jem had to admit, he agreed with her. Nala was too young to be going on his motorcycle yet. Maybe when she was a bit older.

"Are you done shouting like a mad man?" Glynda asked as this man was just weird.

"Sorry, still digesting the fact that I traveled to another world…again."

Now _that_ made Ozpin raise a brow. "Again?"

"…I am not a smart man," was his reply as Ozpin felt like groaning at this entire situation.

"Why don't you start with telling us your name?" That shouldn't be so bad.

"My full name or just my first? Because I have a really long name."

"First and last, please." Ozpin really didn't have time to deal with that.

"Jeremiah Cotton."

"Alright… _why_ are you here?"

"A crazy scorpion guy blew me and my family up with a Dust bomb because I killed his psychotic crush."

"…Could you please take this more seriously?" Goodwitch asked as Winter spoke up.

"Actually…he's telling the truth."

Now that made everyone look at them like they were crazy.

Jem shrugged. "Long story short: I used to have a furry for a stalker who tried to make me her 'little wolf'. She was crazy and happened to be the crush of another crazy person, a scorpion Faunus named Tyrian Callows. I eventually killed her when she tried to take my daughter and give me bad touch."

…

…

Ozpin and Glynda felt like they lost years of their life just _hearing_ that, while Qrow took a long sip of his flask. The other Winter was rubbing her head of migraines.

As for Colt…he was actually trying to keep himself from laughing.

Ozpin rubbed his head. "So…moving on from that, how did you end up meeting Miss Schnee?"

He held out some small hope that it was a sane response.

"She tried to cut off my balls after I kissed her sister on accident at a baseball game."

Eyes were now twitching.

Goddamn it.

"Please tell me he's joking?" The other Winter asked as Jem's Winter shook her head.

"No, that's also true."

Ozpin rubbed his eyes. "Oh for the…why don't you both just explain from the beginning? Please?"

He knew he would regret asking that, but it was best to get all the information they could. No matter how insane or illogical it might sound.

"Okey-dokey," Jem nodded.

His fiance deadpanned. "Really? Okey-dokey?"

"There's nothing wrong with it."

"It's corny."

"It's fun to say!"

" _ **Ahem.**_ "

Jem and Winter froze at Ozpin's tone.

"Explanation. Now. Please?"

Both nodded rapidly and began to regale them with the abridged (because explaining _all_ of it would require nearly 100 chapters, possibly even more than that) tale of Jeremiah Cotton and his misadventures with RWBY and JNPR, with Winter joining in at a later time. As well as how they slowly fell for each other. Then having to separate, only for Jem to arrive on Remnant via explosive Dust bullet. Then his misadventures in Remnant, ranging from escaping Schnee Manor to Jem accidently joining the infantry battalion of the Atlas Military (which Winter was still pissed about). They also decided to include the part about how Nala became their daughter.

At the end of it all…the ones hearing the tale were _extremely_ glad they got an abridged version rather than the full story. If they hadn't lost it now, they would've if they heard full details.

The other Winter chose to speak first.

"I'm sorry, but this sounds insane!" The Winter from this universe couldn't believe that her other self lived such a crazy life! It seemed like something a drunken asshole would write on a napkin at a bar.

"So…you're telling me that Team RWBY and JNPR were teleported to your world?" Ozpin had his hands up to his face.

"Yeppers."

"And that you befriended them?"

"Uh-huh."

"Then Miss Schnee came through the portal and thought you took advantage of her younger sister?"

"Actually, Weiss kissed me."

"HOW DARE Y-!" The Winter from this universe stepped forward but Jem's Winter stood up in his defense.

"She did. It was an accident." The two Winter's glared at each other before both backed down.

"And then she tried to enact justice on you?" Goodwitch knew Winter had a bit of a temper, but as far as they knew, only Qrow could piss her off that much.

Jem nodded. "And then after that, she came to live with us until we could send her home. Long story short: we bonded and eventually fell in love." It wasn't the most romantic story, but it was their story.

"And then she and the others had to leave, only for _you_ to go to _them_ later?"

"Basically. Ruby had made my weapon, Red Dawn, and I had to use it when…oh yeah. "

Jem showed off his bear tooth necklace and his scars. "I ended up fighting a bear. Got the scars and the tooth necklace to prove it. Cool, huh?"

Goodwitch honestly couldn't believe this man was sane. "…Are you some kind of crazy person?"

"Nope! Just high on life!" Jem said with a grin as they suddenly heard coughing.

"H-HOLY SHIT!" Qrow shouted as he was drinking out of Mr. Booze.

Jem's Winter went wide-eyed and checked her waist to find no flask. How did that drunk sneak up on her like that?!

"This is…wow, powerful stuff." Qrow had never tasted booze this strong.

Jem thought it was weird that he got to see Qrow taste moonshine for the first time twice in his life. Granted, he wasn't expecting that he would have to be teleported to another world in order to do it, but overall it was still an interesting sight.

"That right there is Cottonmouth Moonshine! Brewed by me and my father…well my adoptive father anyways."

That made Colt raise an eyebrow. "You're adopted?"

Jem nodded. "Yeah. My real dad…it would shock you all if you knew. And my mom…actually, no. I'd rather not get into that."

The fact Jem was fidgeting uncomfortably, along with Winter comforting him, showed that it was a sensitive subject. The others chose not to press it, then.

Although….

"Why would it be a shock about your real father?" Colt couldn't help but ask.

Jem rubbed his head. "Well…you see…."

Ozpin suddenly remembered that feeling he got when he looked at Jem. How he was reminded of Qrow for some reason….

"Oh my god." Ozpin's head fell onto his hands.

"Ozpin?" Glynda asked.

"…It's Qrow, isn't it? From _your_ Remnant?"

Qrow, who had been taking another sip from Mr. Booze, did a spit-take.

"W-WHAT?!"

Jem chuckled nervously. "Y-Yeah. You got it."

…

…

Colt fell on his ass, laughing.

"HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA-!"

Everyone stared at the laughing madman.

Violet look worried. "Uh oh. I think Daddy finally lost it."

"O-OH MY GOD! I-IT MAKES SO MUCH SENSE NOW! HAHAHAHAHAHA!"

Qrow growled. "S-Stop laughing! It's not funny! A-And how do we know he's telling the truth?!"

The other Winter suddenly stepped up towards Jem and gave him an analytical gaze.

Jem fidgeted nervously, while his Winter glared at the other Winter, staying close to her fiance….

The other Winter frowned. "Hmph, he actually does seem to resemble Qrow a bit. Just add hair, replace the beard with a stubble, and imagine Qrow when he was younger. The resemblance would be uncanny, then."

Everyone but Colt (who was still laughing his ass off) did so in their minds, and…holy shit.

"My god," Glynda gasped, her hand over her mouth.

Ozpin suddenly pulled out his scroll and took two pictures. One of Jem, and one of Qrow.

"I'll make sure to tell James about this later."

Qrow panicked. "N-No! Don't you dare!"

If Ironwood found out about this, he'd never hear the end of it from the general! Especially since Qrow constantly gives him crap all the time.

"Shouldn't _I_ be the one to tell him?" The other Winter asked with a smirk. "I do send reports to him, after all."

"No need," Ozpin smirked. "I will personally see to it he is informed of this. We haven't had a good laugh in a while."

Qrow groaned into his hands.

Colt was still laughing like a madman.

Jem mumbled. "It's not that funny."

His Winter glared. "I believe that's enough laughing at my fiancé's expense."

Ozpin cleared his throat. "Yes, of course."

Glynda sighed. "Right."

Qrow ran a hand down his face. "Please."

Colt was still laughing.

…

And laughing.

…

And laughi-.

"COLT!" everyone yelled.

Colt wheezed as he regained control of himself. He shakily got to his feet as he stifled his laughter.

"R-Right. S-Sorry. N-No more. Hehe."

He took a couple of deep breaths before finally settling down.

"B-But seriously, Qrow's your dad?"

Jem nodded. "The Qrow from my Remnant, yes."

Colt let out a whistle. "Wow…next you're gonna tell us your birth mom's a midget stripper or something.

…

…

Jem coughed into his hand as Winter rubbed a hand down her face.

Qrow paled. "Please no."

Jem nodded slowly. "Y-Yeah."

…

…

"HAHAHAHAHA! QROW SLEPT WITH A MIDGET STRIPPER! HAHAHAHAHA-!"

Colt went back to laughing on the ground as Qrow began downing his own flask.

Ozpin's mouth twitched. "…James will certainly never let you hear the end of this, Qrow. Regardless if it wasn't actually you."

The other Winter smirked. "I certainly won't, either."

Qrow felt like melting on the spot right now.

Meanwhile, Jem was trying to hide how uncomfortable this situation was making him. But he really didn't want to cause a scene. After all, he understood, the concept of a midget stripper was funny to others, but…it was a bit of a sore subject.

Nala, however, did not have her father's restraint.

"Stop it," she started as she saw how her Daddy was trying to avoid the sound of laughter.

But Colt couldn't help but laugh.

"Stop it." She said loudly but he was still laughing.

"STOP MAKING FUN OF MY DADDY!" She yelled as she leapt into the air.

Eyes widened as she went to unleash her patented Nala Kick. Which essentially defied the laws of physics because there's no way someone can just soar through the air like that without slowing down or having a decrease in altitude. In other words, it was kind of weird.

Magical to watch, but weird nonetheless.

"What the-?" Qrow asked as he saw her flying through the air.

"How interesting." Ozpin said as he decided not to stop it.

"Huh?" Colt suddenly snapped out of it long enough to see that the little lion girl was about to land a kick towards-.

"Whoa!" He exclaimed as he caught her by the ankle.

"Uh oh." She said as no one had dodged her kick before. This man must have been stronger than Jacques Schnee alright!

"…" Colt was silent as he held her in place.

"…" Nala was silent as she had no idea why she was still in her midair kick pose.

Finally, Colt stood up, still holding Nala by the ankle, with the little lion still stuck in her midair pose.

He raised his other hand…and had one finger pointed out.

Violet pitied Nala at this moment. The little lion was about to get a stern talking-to.

"No! No! Bad girl! No kicking!" He scolded as Nala glared at him.

"I'm not a dog!" She said as the mood was suddenly a bit brighter.

"Don't listen to her! She's Lion!" Jem made a pun as everyone groaned.

"Oh, you got to be kidding me!" Goodwitch already had enough to deal with when Xiao Long made puns, now there was another one.

"Let me go!" Nala said as she was struggling.

"Nala, Nala…calm down." Jem said as he walked over and placed his hands on her shoulders.

"But he wouldn't stop laughing." Nala said as she looked at her dad.

"Nala, it's okay, he didn't know," Jem said as he looked at Colt. "I'm sorry, we all get a little…defensive of each other."

Suddenly Winter spoke up. "Except when she defends you, she kicks people in the balls. When _you_ defend her, people get scalped."

That caused a few head turns.

"SCALPED?!" Goodwitch shouted as Jem waved his hands in defense.

"It's not what you think!" Okay, it was exactly what Goodwitch thought.

"What do you mean by 'I didn't know.'?" Colt asked having the feeling he wasn't going to like the answer.

Jem rubbed his head. "Sorry, you see…it's kind of a sore subject. When I found out I was adopted, I tried to find my birth parents. But when I found Davina…she informed me I was one of many bastard children she had given birth to over the years, and that my father could be one of thousands of other people."

Everyone else now understood why it was a sore subject.

"So…still kind of a sore subject. I get that the midget stripper thing is funny, but trust me when I say that it's not as funny when it happens to you. So Nala gets a little protective of me sometimes." He said as Nala looked down.

"You always defend me," She said with a cute pout.

"I know sweetheart, but I'm a grown man. I can take care of myself. Now don't cry. Look on the bright side! Your kick has improved."

"Really?!" she asked, no longer sad.

Jem nodded. "Execution is nice, and you were a bit faster today. Just got to work on getting faster, and maybe you'll be able to get him one day."

Colt scoffed. "Yeah, right."

"You don't think she could do it?"

"Tell you what. If she can be as fast as Vert, _then_ I'll be worried for my manhood."

Jem looked confused. "Vert?"

"Vert Bowman. Veteran Huntsman. Doesn't your Remnant have one?"

Jem turned to his fiancé. "Winter?"

She shook her head. "There's no one by that name on our Remnant. Not that we know of, anyway."

Colt hummed. "…I can't tell if that's a good or bad thing."

Ozpin chuckled. "Perhaps good for anyone who doesn't respect their elders."

The other adults nodded in agreement.

Jem was still confused. "Who's Vert Bowman?"

"You'll meet him at some point," Colt said. "Just don't comment on his age."

"Why?"

"Just don't. Trust me."

Colt sighed. "In any case, guess I kinda feel bad for laughing, then."

Jem, Winter, and Nala deadpanned. " _Kinda_?"

"To be fair, I was laughing at Qrow, not you Jem."

"I didn't even do anything!" Qrow shouted indignantly.

"Still you, technically."

Qrow groaned and took another sip of Mr. Booze, then coughed again at the strong taste.

Jem's Winter crossed her arms and glared at Colt. "Regardless of _who_ you were laughing at, you should take better care to see that your laughter isn't insensitive to others."

Colt winced. "Yeesh, rub salt on the wound, why don't ya?"

He turned to Jem. "Well…sorry, then."

Jem grinned and slapped Colt on the back. "No worries! It's all good!"

Colt stumbled a bit. "…Right."

Ozpin cleared his throat. "Yes, that's all well and good, but we should really get back on track."

"Oh," Jem said. "Right."

They really went off the rails there, as they say.

"Mr. Remington, please put young Nala down."

Colt blinked as he noticed he was still holding Nala by the ankle, the girl still in her midair kick pose.

"Jem?"

"Got it."

Jem grabbed Nala and gently set her back down, her form no longer in the midair kick pose.

Violet walked up to Nala. "Can you teach me to do that kick?"

"Sure!" Nala exclaimed, more happy than usual at the chance to spend time with Violet.

Colt snickered, probably thinking about Violet doing a "Violet Kick".

It would be magical to see.

"Now then," Ozpin continued. "Just to summarize the rest of your story for clarification, you arrived on the other Remnant via Dust, you escaped Schnee Manor after punching Jacques in the nuts-."

Colt, Qrow, and both Winters snickered at that.

"-where you arrived in Vale to meet Miss Schnee and the others. The Fall of Beacon still commenced, albeit with different trigger-events and different outcomes. You then cleared matters up with Jacques, took some vacation time at Menagerie, proposed to Miss Schnee, killed the 'furry stalker', joined the infantry of Atlas Military by mistake-."

Jem's fiancé growled at that. Still upset over that, apparently. Though the other Winter muttered about recruitment standards. Probably wondering how someone like Jem was let in.

"-and then you three took a vacation where this Tyrian Callows arrived and detonated a Dust Bomb near you, which sent you three here."

Ozpin raised an eyebrow. "Is all of that correct?"

"Yup," Jem said.

"Indeed," Winter added.

"Totally!" Nala exclaimed, even though she could only confirm the parts that she was there for.

"…" Ozpin let his head fall into his hands as he sighed. "That's…quite the tale, I must say."

Colt scoffed. "Sounds like a bad fanfiction if you ask me."

"Hey!" Jem shouted, offended for reasons beyond his understanding.

"Then again, my life on Remnant sounds like a fanfiction, too. Only it would be a _good_ one."

"HEY!"

Colt shrugged.

Ozpin smirked as he stared straight ahead. "Yes…both would sound like that, wouldn't they?"

"…Ozpin, what are you staring at?" Glynda asked.

"The readers."

"Wha-?"

"Never mind that," Ozpin interrupted. "Now that we have all that settled, we can decide on what to do with our new arrivals."

"Isn't it obvious?"

Everyone turned to Colt when he said that.

He shrugged. "We help them find a way back. Simple as that."

Jem, Winter, and Nala blinked, surprised that he wanted to help them.

Ozpin sighed. "It's not as simple as you make it to be, Mr. Remington."

The other Winter spoke next. "Dust isn't capable of transporting people to other worlds or dimensions."

Jem and his family suddenly felt their hopes fall.

Colt raised an eyebrow. "Well…has anyone even _thought_ of doing something like that? Not even in Atlas?"

The other Winter made to speak…then stopped. She blinked as she actually thought about it.

"W-Well…no. It's something out of fiction."

Colt smirked. "Hence why no one bothered to suggest trying?"

The other Winter looked away. "…Y-Yes."

Colt grinned. "Well, there you go!"

Jem and co felt their hopes rise again.

"There's no guarantee it will work," Ozpin stated.

Their hopes fell again.

"Can't hurt to try, can it?" Colt asked.

Their hopes rose again.

Ozpin chuckled. "I suppose."

He turned to the other three. "I don't suppose you can inform us of the details of how Dust can possibly send people to other dimensions? It would be helpful for us to know."

Jem and Winter looked at each other….

They turned back. "Maybe a few details."

Ozpin smiled. "Excellent.

He folded his hands. "However, that can happen at a later time. It's been quite a day for you three, and I imagine you wish to rest for a bit."

Jem, Winter, and Nala wholeheartedly agreed on that notion.

"Very well, then. In that case, I place you in good hands with Mr. Remington."

…

…

"Wait, what?" Colt asked.

Ozpin smirked. "Since you seem so keen on helping them, and that you found two of them in the first place and aided the third against a Deathstalker, I find it only fitting that they be put under your supervision."

Colt gawked. "W-Why?!"

"I believe I already explained why."

"I-I have enough to deal with as it is!"

"I'm sure you can handle the added responsibility."

"But, I…you can't-."

"Consider this one of the favors you owe me."

"…Goddamn it."

Violet stood there with the swear jar.

"Again, later sweetie."

Violet narrowed her eyes. "I always collect a debt, Daddy. Remember that."

Jem and co stared at Colt and Violet, dumbfounded.

Colt sighed and looked at them. "Don't ever swear in front of Violet. She will _not_ let it go."

Violet narrowed her eyes and did the "I've got my eyes on you" gesture with her fingers.

Jem and Winter made a mental note to never swear in front of the little bunny. Not that they would have since Nala was around, but still.

"Now then," Ozpin continued. "Mr. Remington will direct you three to the spare room next to his."

Colt blinked. "Next to mine?"

"Since they are under your supervision, it only makes sense that they must be near your room in case of emergency."

Colt sighed and rubbed his eyes….

"Fine. Sure. Whatever."

Jem's Winter couldn't help but feel a bit annoyed at Colt's apparent dislike of having to deal with them….

She smirked.

Now that she thought about it, he was technically being a jerk earlier for not believing her (even though he had every right to), and he supposedly stalked her and Nala (despite him denying those accusations). And he certainly needed to pay for laughing rather insensitively a few moments ago, regardless if Jem waved it off.

Time for payback.

Winter hummed. "I'm not sure if I feel comfortable with this man being in charge of us. After all-."

She smirked evilly. "He was stalking Nala and I earlier."

Silence enveloped the room.

…

…

Everyone slowly turned to a nervous-looking Colt.

"What?" Jem asked, reaching for his tomahawk.

Colt gawked. "W-What, NO! I told you I wasn't stalking you!"

"Oh?" Winter continued. "So you weren't hiding behind a bush while watching us with a pair of binoculars?"

"…W-Well yes, but-!"

Qrow whistled. "Damn, kid. Didn't take you for the stalker type."

"Indeed," Ozpin chimed in with a smirk. "I feel rather…disappointed."

Glynda rolled her eyes, having caught on that they were just screwing with Colt. She chose to not add anything as a form of mercy towards Colt.

The other Winter glared at Colt. "Colt! How dare you?!"

She was only half-angry. The other half was…jealousy.

If Colt _had_ to be a stalker, she would've preferred it that he stalked _her_ and not someone else!

…

…

The other Winter paled in horror at the thought she just had.

Colt waved his hands. "N-No, wait! I-I wasn't stalking them! J-Just observing! And it was only your Winter!"

Jem's Winter decided to add more to this fire. "And don't think I didn't notice you casting glances at me when it was four of us. Be it my midriff or…other areas."

Technically it was just the midriff, and it was only one time, but they didn't need to know that yet.

Jem stared at Colt. "Staring…at… _my_ lady?"

The bearded redneck began to sharpen his tomahawk.

"Wait, no! None of that happened! I mean…maybe I looked at her once, but that's not the point!"

The Winter Colt knew grew angrier and more jealous.

Qrow raised a flask. "Don't worry, kid. No one would blame you…well, a few maybe. Especially me. You can do better than her, kid."

"DON'T INSULT WINTER!" Both Colt and Jem shouted, causing the two to stare at each other.

Jem's Winter noticed how the other Winter seemed to preen a bit at Colt defending her like that. She made a mental note to inquire about that later.

Colt tried to defend himself again. "L-Look, it's not like I was just looking at Winter! I was staring at Nala too!"

You could have heard a pin drop with the silence that emerged after that last part.

…

…

Jem's eye twitched uncontrollably as righteous fury boiled within.

"Daddy," Violet deadpanned. "When you're in a hole, stop digging."

Even Violet, despite her age, could see what was wrong with that sentence.

Colt gulped. "U-Um…parlay?"

"IT'S SCALPING TIME!" Jem shouted, charging at the possible creeper/pedophile.

Colt sighed. "Goddamn-."

Jem tackled Colt backwards….

Which was unfortunate because Colt was still near the window.

The window broke upon impact, both men crashing through and falling off the tower.

Everyone gawked at what just happened.

…

…

"W-Whoops," Jem's Winter said.

She didn't mean for it to escalate _that_ quickly.

The other Winter glared. "Whoops?! Is that all you have to say?!"

"…Yes?"

Glynda rubbed her eyes. "So does anyone actually believe Colt is a creep or pedophile?"

"No." (Ozpin)

"Nope." (Qrow)

"Uh-uh." (Violet)

"Nah." (Nala)

"P-Perhaps not." (Winter OOP)

"…" (Winter MT)

Glynda sighed. "That's what I thought."

She glared at Jem's Winter. "You _will_ clear up this misunderstanding."

"Y-Yes." Winter felt rather guilty now.

"Wait until they hash it out," Qrow said. "I kinda wanna see where this goes."

"Admittedly, I myself am curious," Ozpin added.

Glynda facepalmed.

Nala spoke up. "Is no one gonna address the fact that my daddy and Violet's are currently falling from a tall building?"

…

…

"50 Lien on Mr. Remington," Ozpin said.

"I'll raise you 100 on that Jem kid," Qrow countered. "He seems too crazy even for Colt. And he's apparently supposed to be 'my' son."

Nala sighed. "Guess not."

While Glynda berated the two men for betting at a time like this, the other Winter huffed.

"Well, hopefully Colt will subdue that lunatic before much harm can be done."

Jem's Winter scoffed. "Please. If anything, you should hope my fiance doesn't send Colt to the morgue."

Winter MT glared. "Is that right?"

Winter OOP glared back. "Indeed."

Electricity could be seen blasting out of their eyes towards each other. One thing led to another, and now they both took part in the bet as well (one betting on her fiance, and the other betting on her…l-love interest), much to Glynda's chagrin.

Meanwhile, Violet felt immense worry for her father.

Nala pat Violet's shoulder. "Don't worry! Daddy won't hurt your daddy…much."

Violet frowned. "Actually, I'm more worried if he'll be alright from the fall. He can totally beat your daddy."

"…Excuse me?"

Violet turned to Nala. "You heard me."

Nala glared. "My daddy can totally kick your daddy's butt! He's crazy!"

Violet glared back. "Daddy's dealt with crazy before! Plus, Grandpa Vert trained him!"

"I don't know who that is!"

"Too bad for you, then!"

Both little Faunus girls glared at each other, electricity shooting out of their eyes. In the end, they joined the bet as well. Nala betting on Jem, and Violet betting on Colt.

Glynda, for her part, simply sighed, accepting that this was going to happen whether she liked it or not.

Colt vs. Jem.

Place your bets, folks!

* * *

 **MAO: Well...that escalated quickly.**

 **Jem: Yeah, did Colt REALLY just say that? I mean...wow...we're sadistic aren't we?**

 **MAO: I guess. Wow, first I'm accused of being a masochist. Now I might be accused of being a sadist.**

 **...**

 **...**

 **MAO: Oh well! At least the readers get Colt vs. Jem next chapter. Wonder who will win?**

 **JC: Well, I don't know, I'm rooting for my home team, you're rooting for your home team, one slightly crazy guy with a good luck semblance trained by Winter and his father, and one guy who deals with crazy on a daily basis and was trained by VERT...in other words, it's going to be crazy.**

 **MAO: Yeah...it's gonna be fun to write, that much I can say.**

 ***sighs***

 **MAO: Well, you all know the drill. If you liked this and want to be kept up to date, be sure to follow and fav. Leave a review while you're at it! We'd love to hear from you guys. And feel free to pick a side. Colt or Jem? Who will win this epic fight?!**

 **JC: Yep! So...wanna beer?**

 ***Holds up a case of Guinness Extra Stout***

 **...**

 **...**

 **MAO: F*** it. Sure. Why not?**

 ***takes a beer***

 **MAO: See you all in the next update.**

 **JC: And as always, may your steak stay rare and beer stay cold!**

 ***MAO and JC clink the bottles and drink***

 **MAO: Ack! F-Forgot the kind of taste beer has.**

 **JC: Yeah, well I had to cut down on drinking and now I'm still getting used to the taste again.**

 ***Throws his empty bottle in the trash***

 **JC: So uh, got to see my nephew over the weekend, looks like he's happy to see his dad and family.**

 **MAO: I bet he is.**

 ***takes another sip***

 **MAO: ...Tastes less bitter after every sip.**

 ***shrugs***

 **MAO: Oh well. Laters!**


	6. Character Analysis by Violet and Nala

_Disclaimer: Neither I nor JC of the Corn own RWBY._ _Cover image by sumopiggy on Deviantart._

* * *

Violet and Nala were in a room.

"Hi, everyone!" Nala waved.

Violet beamed. "The two of us asked permission from the writers to do this little segment. We just gave them the pout, and they caved immediately."

Le MAO and JC grumbled from behind the scenes about those two little girl's cuteness being weapons of mass destruction.

"Now then," Violet continued. "A shout-out to Spiritwalker95 for inspiring this with his review."

Nala whisphered. "But really, this chapter mostly exists because the writers wanted to announce a poll at the end, but didn't want to update with just a simple update.

Violet sighed. "Nala, we weren't supposed to say that."

"Well, it's out there, now."

...

...

"Anyway," Violet continued. "Play the background music, please!"

 **(Cure Death Battle Theme "Invader")**

"Today's two opponents couldn't be from more different worlds…literally." Nala said as Violet sighed.

"Did you really have to make that joke?"

"Yes."

Violet huffed. "Okay, _fine_. Today's combatants are Jeremiah Richard Cotton, the crazy redneck from Out of Place."

Violet showed a picture of Jem with his weapon and Wolf Cloak.

"And Colt Remington, the security guard of Beacon Academy."

Nala held up a picture of Colt in his uniform.

"I'm Nala, and she's Violet."

"And we're here to find out who would win a Death Battle!"

*music scratches to a stop*

Violet blinked when she read that. "…Wait a minute, I don't want anyone to die!"

"Don't worry!" Nala reassured. "This is just the analasises."

"Isn't it pronounced 'analisus'?"

Wiz barged in. "It's _analysis_!"

He barged out.

"…What he said." Nala said.

Violet sighed. "Whatever."

She shouted. "SCENE CHAAAAAAANGE!"

 ***cue scene change***

* * *

 _A figure of Jem fighting white fang grunts appears as Nala's voice starts to act as the narrator._

Nala: Born on Pearl Harbor Day, 1994, Jeremiah Richard Cotton soon grew up to be rather…odd."

 _"COME ON YOU OVERGROWN PARASITE! VALHALLA AWAITS!"_

Violet: And by odd, we mean slightly crazy!

Nala: 5'8'' and 160 lbs, Jeremiah is built for endurance and speed, he lived a regular life, drinking, shooting, reading, hunting, and fishing. But that all changed when two teams dropped into his life.

 **BOOOOOOOOOOOOOM!**

 _RWBY and JNPR arrive in Jem's place via Dust explosion._

Violet: …Literally.

Nala: Forced to take care of Team RWBY and JNPR he eventually bonded with them, and later even fell in love with Weiss's lovely sister, Winter Schnee."

 _The screen shows a picture of Jem and Winter sharing a goodbye kiss._

Violet: Awww.

Violet was a little jealous. She wants a mommy, dang it!

Nala: I know, right? So romantic! Wonder how long before I can find a special someone?

Violet: …Why are you looking at me when you ask that?

Nala: N-No reason!

Nala cleared her throat.

Nala: Jem later on went on to find out that he was the son of the famous Huntsman, Qrow, which actually explained why he may have had a drinking problem…although, considering his birth mother was Irish, that may have also played a part.

 _Scenes show Jem learning from his father, training with Pyrrha, Ruby showing Jem 'Red Dawn', and Jem seeing how it transforms._

Nala: Jem's training has been rather sporadic, so far. From a young age his father taught him survival skills from his time as a pilot for the US Air force. Jem was later trained by Pyrrha Nikos in the use of a tomahawk and knife, which later become the basis of his melee fighting style because of his weapon, 'Red Dawn' made for him by the one and only Ruby Rose. A transforming Winchester 1886, with a secondary form of a Colt Peacemaker, as well as its final form being a Tomahawk and Long knife, which he has used for some…gruesome moments.

 _"AAAHHHHHHH!"_

 _The image of Jem scalping a white fang grunt began to pla-._

"HEY! WHY ARE OUR EYES COVERED?!" Violet and Nala suddenly found hands over their eyes. Suddenly the veil was lifted and they had no idea what just happened.

Nala: Er…anyways, besides his training with Pyrrha, he has also trained specifically with my mommy and his fiancé, Winter Schnee!

 _Jem and Winter are shown trading blows in a spar with their blades._

Nala: But…she's been kind of hard on him because he joined the infantry battalion of the Atlesian army…which she is STILL MAD ABOUT!

 _The screen switched to an image of Jem being forced to fight multiple training robots._

 _"NOT SO MUCH FUN NOW IS IT?!" Winter yelled as she was enjoying some tea with Weiss as Jem was fighting back._

Nala: Either way, his biggest strength is one of two things, his Semblance being the complete opposite of his father's. And that is the Semblance that we like to call the 'luck of the Irish'.

 _Suddenly an Irish tin flute sound rang through the air._

Nala: This Semblance, while not having any other outward effects other than granting my Daddy extreme luck in hopeless situation does have one other effect. It negates Grandpa Qrow's own bad luck Semblance, which enables him to be around other people without a chance of an unfortunate accident. And like Grandpa's it is constantly active and cannot be switched off. This Semblance has allowed him to survive-.

 _A camera reel started playing._

Nala: Being eaten alive by a giant Snake Grimm.

 _An image of Jem bursting out of a snake stomach came to mind._

Nala: Surviving being whipped from a Deathstalker's tail into a giant boulder, which would have liquefied a regular person.

 _The image of Jem pulling himself out of a human shaped indent in a boulder appeared._

Nala: As well as surviving a fight with Cinder herself.

 _The image of him rolling off a cliff to get away from Cinder showed up on screen._

Violet: So he lost?

Nala: Technically yes, but unfortunately he is not without weaknesses.

Nala grumbled as she hated this part.

Nala: He can be hot headed, and is known to charge in recklessly if he believes his family is in danger, often resorting to brute force. It also doesn't help that he has an unnatural fear of squids and pedophiles.

Violet raised a brow at that.

Violet: The pedophiles I can understand, but why squids?

Nala: I don't know, he hates squids. Can't even take him to the Aquarium anymore.

Nala still didn't understand that bit.

Violet: And strengths?

Nala: Master survivalist, great endurance, and a strong mental attitude. As well as his greatest strength, being able to mentally screw with his opponents.

Violet: …What?

Nala: Well you see, a reviewer pointed out that he wins most of his fights through strength, tactics, and managing to make the other opponent so mad that they make mistakes.

 _The camera rolled again._

" _I don't like this!" An image of Jem stripping for Tigerstripe popped up._

 _"Bet that's the only time someone can say you've pointed anything large at them!" An image of him scolding Qrow appeared._

 _"Ohhhh Mr. Gestapo!" And Nala's favorite. When he beat up Mr. Gestapo because the scary guy slapped her._

Nala: He's done other stuff, too. He managed to finally kill his furry stalker, Tigerstripe, who I hope we'll never see again. He also held his own against my cousin Dandy, a skilled Huntsman in training. Not to mention he can handle the average White Fang goons when he has to. Plus, he's a fast healer. Thank goodness for Aura!

 _Jem drinks out of Mr. Booze._

Nala: Overall, he is not a perfect human being. But he is my daddy, and my daddy is going to win!

 _Jem was chasing his cray furry stalker and a chameleon Faunus because they kidnapped Nala._

" _IMMA GONNA BOIL YOUR ASSES IN MOLASSES!"_

* * *

Nala crossed her arms and grinned.

"Ha! I think I've proven that my daddy can totally kick your daddy's butt!"

Violet gave an unimpressed look.

…

…

She pat Nala's head.

"It's cute that you think that."

Nala gave an angry pout, a small blush adorning her cheeks.

Violet raised her fist. "My Turn!"

Nala deadpanned. "Did you just make a joke with the title of the story you're from?"

"If you can make a joke, then so can I."

Nala rolled her eyes. "Just get to your analeses."

"Analimus."

Boomstick barged in this time. "ANALYSIS! Even I know that!"

He barged out.

Nala pouted. "They don't have to yell."

Violet pat the little lioness' head, instantly cheering her up.

"Just ignore them."

"Okay!"

Violet cleared her throat….

"SCENE CHAAAAAAANGE!"

 ***cue another scene change***

* * *

 _An overweight, 22 year old was currently reading some random RWBY fanfic._

Violet: Born on Thanksgiving Day of 1993, a couch potato grew up as a lazy, anti-social shut-in who preferred to roam the internet rather than hang out with people (unless they were family).

Nala: …Wait, seriously?

Violet: Yeah. That's how my daddy was back on Earth.

Nala: But then…how is he the guy you know today?

Violet: He went to Remnant, of course!

Nala: Wow! Did someone from Remnant go to Earth by mistake like my daddy?

Violet: Er…no.

Nala: Was he abducted by aliens?

Violet: N-No.

Nala: Oh! He fell into a magical portal, didn't he?

Violet: No, he…died.

…

…

Nala: H-Huh?

Violet: In the middle of the night, daddy woke up via heart attack. Unable to call for help, he succumbed to the heart attack and died.

Nala: …I-I need to give him a hug.

Violet: Don't worry! He's over it…I hope, anyway.

She clears her throat.

Violet: Anyway, Daddy was given a second chance and was reincarnated on Remnant, where he got a new (and much more appealing) Remnan body and became a farmer. Choosing his new identity, Colt Remington adopted me as a condition of working the farm. He also joined the village's militia and was personally trained by Vert Bowman, a veteran Huntsman who intimidates most other Huntsman, even Ozpin.

 _Vert: Eh, let her go.._

 _Glynda: But Vert-!_

 _Vert: Oh? Did I make it sound like there was room for argument? Do I need to introduce you lot to my Boxing Glove arrow? Patent pending._

…

…

 _Ozpin: Well, I'm convinced._

 _Glynda: W-What?!_

 _Ozpin: Do_ you _want to get socked in the face by a Boxing Glove arrow?_

 _Vert glared._

 _Ozpin: P-Patent pending._

 _Vert nodded._

Violet: He's my grandpa, too! Not by blood, but that doesn't matter.

 _Colt is shown going through life, which included training with Vert for around 4 years, meeting Neo for the first time, then Winter, then Team CFVY._

Violet: 6'5" and 235 pounds, Daddy's had an eventful couple of years. He's met Neo, Winter, and Team CFVY! He also tended to the farm, took care of me, and trained under Vert. But then, something happened that would change our lives forever.

 _Cinder prepares to fire arrows at Amber from behind, but Colt pushes Amber out of the way. Colt then runs away with Amber, only for Cinder and co to return sometime later with reinforcements._

Violet: He saved the Fall Maiden and escaped their pursuers. The bad guys didn't like that, so they attacked the village with White Fang and Grimm, eventually killing all but me, Daddy, Vert, Qrow, and Amber. Because of this, Daddy felt immense guilt, thinking he was the cause of his village's demise and has night terrors.

Nala: Sounds like he has PTSD.

Violet: Maybe….

 _Scene shows bar brawl at Junior's._

Violet: Trying to drown out his sorrows, Daddy got into a fight with Qrow and later joined the new Beacon Security detail, which consisted of Daddy, Vert, Qrow, Amber, Winter, Neo, and me.

Nala: Wait, you?

Violet: Yup! I'm a hall monitor!

Nala: Huh…what weapons does your daddy have?

 _Several scenes of Colt's weapons go by._

Violet: A lot! He has his main weapons, Lucky and Mysterious Magnum! Which are revolvers that transform into mini scythes/picks. Not only that, but they have a third form! A Mistrali Gladius, which is similar to the Centurion Gladius used by Roman Centurions in the past on Earth. Both weapons can turn into a Gladius in case he's ever disarmed of one of them. He also has a collapsible riot shield. Pair that up with his Gladius, and he's basically a Roman Centurion/Legionaire!

 _Some explosives are shown._

Violet: He also has hand grenades and flash bangs. Of course, we all know he used all of his hand grenades when he had to bail your daddy out against that Deathstalker.

Nala: HEY!

Violet: So sadly, no hand grenades this fight. But Daddy probably wouldn't use them anyway. He'd just resort to the flash bangs, which he will use if the opportunity presents itself to stun his opponent.

Violet pulled out her Taser.

Violet: He also has one of these.

Nala: Really?

Violet: Yeah! He just hasn't had to use it, yet.

 _A Bowie knife is shown._

Violet: But his most dangerous weapon yet…is Dundee.

Nala: He named the knife after Crocodile Dundee?

Violet: Yup!

Nala: What's so special about it?

Violet: It can cut through Aura like butter.

…

…

Nala: WHAT?!

Violet: Yeah, Vert got his hands on it during a past mission and kept it as a souvenir. He then passed it on to Daddy for safe keeping. This knife is made out of a metal that can bypass the very protection that our souls project. It can cut anyone, no matter how strong the Aura.

Nala: …That doesn't seem like a weapon that should be public.

Violet: It isn't. It's actually been outlawed and destroyed. Dundee may very well be the last of its kind. And because it's so dangerous, Vert made sure to train Colt to master knife-fighting. Not just to fight well with a Bowie knife, but so that he was careful not to reveal its capability of cutting through Aura or be disarmed of it in a fight.

 _Colt is shown fighting Fenrir, Qrow, Winter, and Neo at different times. Colt is then shown using a beer sprayer from a bar on Qrow._

Violet: Daddy's skills, other than farming, include being a master sharpshooter, highly endurant in his own right, a master knife-fighter, can use the environment to his advantage if need be, think quickly, and is able to "see faster".

A groan was heard.

Wiz: For the last time, THAT'S NOT A REAL THING!

…

…

Violet: Ignoring that outburst, because of Daddy's training with Vert, he can basically interpret attacks slower than Vert's and parry, block, or dodge them if he's fast enough. And considering how even Ozpin is wary of Vert…those attacks have to be pretty fast for someone of Vert's age.

 _Colt is shown fighting off Winter in hand-to-hand, giving Qrow a Zig-Zag (Dolph Ziggler), and giving Neo and RKO, then the Cesaro Swing afterwards._

Violet: Daddy's no slouch in hand-to-hand combat, either! He held his own against Winter, and even used some wrestling moves from WWE in his fights against Qrow and Neo.

Nala: What about his Semblance?

Violet: His Semblance is Invisibility. He can turn completely invisible, able to hide from anyone and anything. He can also turn anything he has on him invisible as well, like his weapons and clothes. He _can_ turn others invisible as well, but only for a limited time, otherwise it puts a strain on his heart and soul.

Nala: Um…he has flaws, though. Right?

Violet sighed.

Violet: Yes, he has his flaws. For one thing, if he could just _finally_ find a special someone and GET ME A MOMMY-!

Nala: Violet.

Violet: R-Right, sorry.

Violet clears his throat.

 _Colt is shown screaming in rage after getting screwed with, shown to only use the Gladius for stabbing, and hiding behind his riot shield too much._

Violet: Anyway, he's constantly getting screwed with by others, which leads to groans of frustrations or screams of rage. It's only a matter of time before his rage breaks. Overall, his mental fortitude…varies. And while Daddy chose to have the Mistrali Gladius, he's not trained in using an actual sword. A knife, yes. A sword, no. That's two completely different styles. Therefore, Daddy will only resort to "Swish, swish, stab", though more stabbing than swishing since it's a Gladius. He also tends to rely too much on hiding behind his riot shield, which an opponent _can_ use to their advantage. He also has a bit of a mentality block. You see, despite showing how good he is, he still doesn't believe himself to be all that good compared to Huntsman and Huntresses. Because of that, he unintentionally holds back. Especially when he uses Dundee. Because he doesn't want to reveal Dundee's secret, he tends to be _too_ careful, which can be a problem in terms of prolonging the fight and giving his opponent more time to counter him.

 _Colt is shown beating up Qrow after the man placed the blame of the village's demise on Colt._

Violet: Despite everything, though, Daddy always finds a way to come out on top. He's defeated and killed Fenrir Azul (who can turn into a discount werewolf via Semblance), held his own against Qrow and Winter (though they weren't serious for most of the spars), legitimately defeated Neo in one-on-one combat, and tangled with a Mighty Joe Young (Disney version) Grimm, as well as an Indominus Rex Grimm. Granted, he had help with those last two, he still held his own.

 _Colt is fighting Qrow at Junior's_

Violet: And that's why he's going to kick Mr. Jem's butt!

 _Colt manages to wrap an arm around Qrow._

 _Qrow: The hell are you-?!_

 _Colt: You're a jabroni, Qrow._

 _Qrow: …What?_

 _Colt: And you know who beats up jabronis?_

 _Qrow: Wait, why am I even letting you ta-?_

 _Colt: THE ROCK!_

 _Colt proceeds to give Qrow a Rock Bottom on a table, then begins to punch Qrow's face multiple times._

* * *

Violet turns to Nala with a beam. "Well?"

…

…

Nala frowned. "My daddy can still kick your daddy's butt."

"W-What? But-!"

"My daddy's lucky! It'll always save him!"

"Luck runs out!"

"Not my daddy's luck!"

"…HAVE AT YOU!"

Violet tackled Nala. They rolled around the room for a bit.

Nala then had Violet pinned.

"Ha! Pinned you!"

Violet struggled. "L-Let me go!"

"Nope!"

The little lioness had her prey trapped.

Violet pouted. "Phooey."

Nala giggled and got up. "Oh well, guess we'll see who wins next chapter, huh?

Violet got up and pat herself of dust. "Yeah."

Both girls waved at the readers.

"SEE YOU ALL IN THE NEXT CHAPTER!"

* * *

 **A/N: ...Well, that happened.**

 **Anyway, there's a poll on my profile where you can pick a side. Colt or Jem? If you decide to pick regardless of the analysis, then that's your choice.**

 **See you all in the fight!**


	7. Colt vs Jem (Part I)

**MAO: Hey everyone! Le MAO and JC here for another installment of It's My Turn to feel Out of Place!**

 **JC: And boy what an installment it is! Because the thing you've all been waiting for is about to come true! Mao! Tell them what it is!**

 **MAO: It's the fight between the main characters of our two stories! Colt Remington vs. Jeremiah Cotton! Granted, this is just part 1 but...beggars can't be choosers.**

 **JC: Yeah, but hey shouldn't people be happy? They get TWICE the amount of insanity!**

 **MAO: Yeah! So without further delay, let's get to the chapter!**

 **JC: We hope you enjoy it, because damn it was a LOT of fun writing this!**

* * *

 _Disclaimer: Neither I nor JC of the Corn own RWBY._ _Cover image by sumopiggy on Deviantart._

* * *

 _(Colt 1st POV)_

You know…there's always moments you have in life where you think, "I certainly didn't think something like this would happen to me".

The first moment…well, that would actually be me having a heart attack back home.

In spite of my past life, I _was_ careful, despite my mother saying I wasn't. Sure, I took a few risks, but I always made sure to remain healthy. Or at the very least, healthy enough that I wouldn't suffer through the diseases that overweight people could have.

Diabetes.

High blood pressure.

Heart Disease.

All that stuff.

Alas, I finally got caught off guard by something related to all that.

A heart attack.

A _freaking_ heart attack.

Granted, I wasn't actually thinking how I never expected this to happen, as I had been more concerned with calling out for help, but still. It counts as something I never thought would happen to me.

Another moment would be me meeting the goddamn Buddha. _In Purgatory_ of all places, which I still think doesn't make sense. I mean, those are two completely different and separate religions! That shouldn't be a thing! Hell, it's blasphemous! I think, anyway.

But it's a thing, and so I got the chance to spin the Wheel of Reincarnation for a second chance at a new life.

For the record, I am _not_ still sore about that fact that I missed out on being reincarnated as Christina Hendrick's bra.

Nope. Not upset about that _in the least_.

…

…

Ahem. Moving on.

Being reborn on Remnant? As a _farmer_ no less? Another moment of "never thought this would happen".

Meeting Qrow and Amber upon arrival? Another moment.

Adopting Violet Scarlatina, the younger sister of Velvet Scarlatina? Another moment.

Meeting Neopolitan and taking her out for a "date"? Another moment.

Meeting Winter Schnee (who I may as well have considered my waifu back home) a year later? Another moment.

 _Motorboating_ said Specialist and getting away with it (then doing so a second time a few years later)? Another moment…that I will treasure forever.

…S-Shut up!

Meeting Team CFVY the year after that? Another moment.

Basically all the shit that happened to me between saving Amber and becoming a security guard at Beacon?

Many, many, many… _many_ moments of "never thought this would happen".

However...getting tackled through a window off a 50-story building by a hillbilly because said hillbilly believes I'm a creeper for his fiancé and am after his daughter for pedophilic purposes-.

"BY THOR'S HAMMER! MY DAUGHTERS INNOCENCE WILL REMAIN!"

...This certainly ranks in the top 10.

Maybe just below "Neo (who apparently sleeps in the nude) becoming my roommate".

So taking all of that into consideration, and all the countless times I'm screwed with by either the universe itself or actual people….

Should this really come as a surprise to me anymore?

Considering what I said that caused this to happen in the first place-.

…

…

No…but also yes.

No, because obviously the father would be angry and attack me, regardless if it was a misunderstanding.

Yes…because said father and I are currently falling to our potential deaths from the top of Beacon Tower, specifically from Ozpin's office.

…

…

Oh right, we're falling to our deaths right now….

* * *

 _(Third POV)_

"SHIT!" Colt shouted.

"HAHAHAHAHAHA!" Jem was currently laughing all the way down to the ground.

"WHY ARE YOU LAUGHING?!" Colt couldn't believe that this crazy bastard was actually laughing at a time like this. Granted, he didn't expect a lot of things to happen today. But never did he see a man who was actually laughing while falling to their deaths.

"DO YOU NOT SEE WHERE WE ARE?! WE'RE GOING TO DIE!" Colt said as Jem took the time to look down.

…

…

"Oh, would you look at that," Jem commented as though it were nothing.

Jem could have sworn he saw Colt's eye twitch with annoyance.

"THAT'S ALL YOU HAVE TO SAY?!"

"Well, VALHALLA AWAITS!"

"YOU CAN'T BE SERIOUS?! WHAT ABOUT YOUR DAUGHTER?" Suddenly that knocked Jem back into reality.

"Hmm, you're right, I can't protect her innocence if I'm dead!" _Now_ he was starting to panic.

"Really?! _That's_ what broke you out of it?!" Colt was starting to believe that this guy really was crazy.

Seriously?! How was the other Winter in love with this guy?! Wait, they already got the full story. Well actually they didn't. They got an abridged story. But the point is he still had no idea! And now was not the time to think of that, because right now they were falling to their deaths.

"Cause I'm freeeeeeeeee, free falllliiiinnnnnggg." Jem sang as he took a sip out of Mr. Booze.

"…" Colt honestly didn't know what to say at this sight, other than he must've _really_ pissed off some god to have to deal with this bullshit.

Not really the time to think about this, as they were still falling to their deaths.

"Got to think! Got to t-" Suddenly he was punched in the face.

"OW!" He saw Jem with a grin.

"THAT'S for stalking my daughter!"

"I wasn't sta-" He took another punch in the face.

"And that's for looking at my lady!"

"Will you stop, already?!"

Colt had to think fast as he kept parrying more of Jem's punches.

He had an idea.

Colt got his scythe pick out.

"HA!" He yelled as he stabbed it into Beacon tower.

"VALHALLA AWAITS!"

…Oh wait, he had to grab Jem, too….

"Goddamn it."

He grabbed Jem by the only part that was still in reach.

His beard.

"AAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH! NOT THE BEARD!"

Suddenly Jem was no longer full of confidence and was now in great pain.

"Oh shut up! I just saved your life."

Geez, you think he would be grateful.

"MY BEARD! MY GLORIOUS BEARD!"

Jem was currently struggling as there was no footholds for him to step on. Meaning that the only reason he wasn't falling was because Colt had a tight grip on his beard and would not let go.

Even though Jem was possibly crazy and did tackle them out the window, he wouldn't just let the guy fall. For one, the other Winter would kill Colt if that happened. And another…he just didn't want to see that little lion girl sad.

Colt swore Nala was just like Violet. Someone you don't want to see sad if you can help it.

Hence, why he needed to clear up this misunderstanding. Besides, Jem seemed like a reasonable guy before. Maybe after he did his best to explain this, everything would work out just fi-.

"I AM GOING TO HANG YOU BY YOUR PUBES!" Jem yelled out in a pain induced rage.

…Okay…Colt didn't know what to think about that.

 **CRUNCH.**

"Uh oh," he said as he looked up.

His pick was slipping from its position, most likely due to Jem's struggling.

"Uh, Jem?! COULD YOU PLEASE STOP MOVING?!" Colt knew his pleas were probably falling on deaf ears, but he had to try.

"I WILL DRAG YOU DOWN TO HELL WITH ME!" Jem yelled as rage had overtaken his senses.

"WE…ARE GOING…TO _DIE_!" Colt tried to emphasize the word 'die'.

"THEN I WILL DIE KNOWING MY DAUGHTER IS SAFE!"

"FOR FUCK'S SAKE, I AM NOT A PEDO!"

 **CRUNCH.**

"Oh shit."

Colt saw the pick had slipped out of place.

"AHHHHHHHHHHHHH!"

Both were now screaming again.

"GOT YOU!" Jem yelled as he reached out and started choking Colt.

"HGH GER! GHG!" Colt was not expecting this.

Colt thought, _You know what? Screw this!_

If he was going to die, he was going to die fighting!

"HEH GEH GRG!" Jem weezed out as Colt was now choking him back.

* * *

 _(Inside of Beacon tower)_

"So Velvet, finally going to fess up?" Coco teased as Velvet glared at her friend.

"I DON'T LIKE HIM LIKE THAT!" She yelled as she was getting tired of Coco teasing her.

"Geez, getting all def-"

Suddenly both girls looked out the window to see Colt and some unidentified man falling while choking each other to death.

…

…

"Velvet?" Coco asked as she needed a second opinion.

"Yes?" Velvet wasn't honestly sure if she just saw what she thought she saw.

"Was…Colt falling just now?"

"That's what I saw, yes."

"And he was choking some bald guy?"

"Yes."

"And neither one seemed to be slowing down?"

"Yep."

"…"

"…"

"Did we really see that?"

"I honestly don't know."

* * *

 _(Outside, at ground level)_

"I can't believe this," one of the Beacon guards said as he looked over the salesman.

"For the last time, we did _not_ order a giant trampoline!" He was getting sick of this guy.

The man in question just looked irritated and flipped the guard the bird.

"You know, pal! You could have told me that before I set it up!" The salesman started to get into an argument with the guard.

"HERGEHBEGBHEGBJHBE!" Meanwhile the two completely ignored the two grown men choking the shit out of each other who were heading right towards the trampoline.

Fifty feet

…

…

Thirty feet

…

…

Ten feet.

…

…

 **BOOOOINNNG!**

Both of the men realized that they did not land on the cold hard ground and actually stopped choking each other for a second.

"What the-" And that was when they found themselves being launched in the air.

"HOLY SHIT!" Colt yelled as he felt himself soaring through the air.

"I'm FLYING JACK!" Jem said as he was imitating the scene from Titanic.

"…" Colt wasn't sure whether to hate this guy, or admire his insanity.

Right now, he was going with hate.

Also….

"TITANIC IS OVERRATED!" Colt shouted.

"HOW DARE YOU?!" Jem shouted back.

Both men went back to choking each other.

"HERGEHBEGBHEGBJHBE!"

* * *

 _(Back in Beacon tower)_

"They're going to die!" Winter (OOP) yelled as she saw them hit the ground.

"Wait…are they…flying?" Winter (MT) said as she saw them coming back up.

"…Can your daddy fly?" Nala asked as Violet shook her head.

"No, can yours?" She was too shocked by what she was seeing.

"No, that's why I was asking."

The two were getting closer and closer and had briefly stopped choking each other.

"FLLLYYYYY LIKE AN EAGLEEEEE! TO THE SEEAAAAA!" Jem was singing on the way up.

"I HATE YOU SO MUCH!" Colt couldn't believe this guy.

Seriously?! Did this man have brain damage? He didn't know!

Ozpin hummed. "Apparently, a giant trampoline happened to be at ground level to bounce them back up."

Glynda blinked. "That's…rather unlikely to happen."

"Nope! Just lucky!"

Everyone turned to the little lion.

"My daddy's Semblance is the Luck of the Irish!"

…

…

Everyone not in the know slowly blinked at that.

Winter (OOP) sighed. "It's basically the opposite of Qrow's bad luck."

Qrow grumbled. "That's _so_ unfair."

Their attention was brought back to the two men flying back up.

"We might want to move." Ozpin suggested as everyone got away from the window.

"What are you going to do?" Winter (MT) asked as Glynda pointed her crop.

"Change their trajectory." She focused her semblance on the two men as one was celebrating his newest achievement while the other one was slowly plotting his revenge.

"WWWOOOOOOOOO!" If Glynda didn't intervene, the two would have just kept soaring into the air.

But the next thing that Colt and Jem knew, they found themselves back in Beacon Tower, right where they started.

"Awww, is it over?" Jem whined

"HOW COULD YOU ENJOY THAT?!" Colt shouted.

He was honestly tempted to shoot the bastard….

No, really. Colt was _actually_ considering it at this point in time. Maybe in the shoulder. Or his kneecap.

Or both kneecaps, maybe.

"It was fun…hey, wait a minute." Jem suddenly remembered what they were doing.

"YOU GRABBED MY BEARD!" Suddenly Colt found himself being tackled again.

"OH COME O-" And…they didn't go out the window this time.

No…this time they went towards the stairs.

"OW! OOF!" Colt shouted as they hit the stairs.

"OH! OUCH!" Jem was starting to realize this wasn't one of his best ideas.

"Wait, this tower has stairs?" Both Winters asked at the same time.

"Yes, but everyone prefers to use the elevator," Ozpin stated as the stairs were a bit of a pain to climb.

"How many flights down is it?" Nala asked as he grimaced.

"…About fifty flights."

"OW! MY KIDNEY!"

"THAT'S YOUR HEAD, IDIOT!" Colt yelled out as they were still fighting even when falling down the stairs.

* * *

 _(Meanwhile, with Coco and Velvet)_

Both girls were still staring outside the window.

…

…

"Well," Coco said. "That's enough crazy for one day."

"C-Coco!" Velvet exclaimed. "Shouldn't we find out what's going on?"

"Oh? Wanna know if Colt's alright?"

"Well, obviously!"

"I knew you cared."

"N-Not like that!"

"Keep telling yourself that."

Velvet pulled on her rabbit ears and growled in frustration, ignoring the warmth on her cheeks.

Coco chuckled. "Relax. Let's just see what's up."

Both moved towards the elevator. As they did, they heard a commotion near the stairwell. They turned their gazes toward it.

"OW, MY LIVER! I NEED THAT!"

"DAMN IT ALL!"

Colt and that bald bearded man from before were now falling down the flight of stairs. Which sucked, because it was a 50-story building.

…

…

"Velvet?"

"Yes, that was Colt and the same bald, bearded guy from before."

…

…

"Yeah, let's see what's up."

They quickly called the elevator and made to go after the two men falling down the stairs.

* * *

 _(Colt and Jem)_

"OOF! OW! THAT HURTS!"

"WE'RE FALLING DOWN STAIRS! IT'S SUPPOSED TO HURT, DIPSHIT!"

Colt was glad Violet wasn't around to hear him, because he was probably swearing more than he had in a while, and that's saying a lot.

"I think we're close to the end!" Jem said as his head landed on a step, yet a pain began on his foot. "Ow! My foot is cramping!"

"…Are you real?" Colt couldn't believe this was an actual person.

Or that he could actually use that DBZ Abridged reference on someone.

"Rain drops keeping falling on my-, OW!" Jem said as they hit another step.

…

…

You know what? He didn't want to fight the guy at first. It was a misunderstanding, after all….

But you know what? After everything he's been through today (and perhaps his whole life here on Remnant), beating the shit out of this guy sounds _fucking_ therapeutic right about now. As soon as they landed, Colt was going to unleash all his pent up aggression on this crazy son of a bitch.

Suddenly both rolled into a stop as they realized they had hit the bottom of the stairs.

Colt quickly got to his feet. Now was his chance to-.

"BLLAAAAGGGHHH!"

Jem was currently puking on the ground.

"…" Colt wasn't sure how to handle this.

"Give me a second!" He yelled in between heaves.

Now this was just sad.

"Um…you need a tums or something?" Colt said as he could have sworn he saw blood come out.

Colt was suddenly rethinking his plan to beat the shit out of the guy. Cause seriously, he was pretty sure that was blood in that puke.

"I'm okay!" Jem said as he took another sip of moonshine.

"Wait, should you even be drinking that?!"

"After falling down all those steps? Hell yeah!"

"…Do you even care about your health?"

"Of course I do! I'm a swimmer!"

…

…

On second thought, never mind. Colt was gonna wreck this guy's shit.

"I'm going to start beating you now," Colt growled, shoulders shaking and fists clenched. "I don't know when I'll stop."

"Hopefully it won't take too long," Jem said. "Once I ensure my daughter's innocence by unleashing righteous justice upon you-."

"I AM NOT A PEDO, GODDAMN IT!"

"You admitted it!"

"It was a misunderstanding! Besides, I have a daughter! How can I be a pedo yet have a daughter?!"

That made Jem stop and think for a moment.

Colt's brows furrowed. He actually hoped that maybe that would finally get the point acr-.

"My god," Jem gasped. "You're using that innocent child as a cover to hide your intentions! You clever bastard!"

…

…

That's it. Colt officially gave up.

"Fuck it," he said. "I'm just gonna knock you out and explain later."

Colt drew Lucky and Mysterious Magnum and turned them into the scythe-picks.

"FOR HONOR!" Jem yelled as he charged forward with his tomahawk and knife.

"FOR…SOMETHING OR other a-, you know what? I'm just gonna kick your ass now."

Both men charged at each other and struck their blades against the other.

"Oooh, sharp!" Their blades clashed as Jem hooked his tomahawk into one of Colt's blade.

"Oh come on! Do you ever shut up?!" Colt yelled as Jem gave him a smile.

"Nope!" He popped the P like Ruby.

They continued trading blows, their blades clashing with each other in a sequence that belonged in an action movie.

It was epic. So epic, that the writers couldn't properly describe it…except in the form of a reference.

"Patty cake! Patty cake! Baker's man!"

Jem landed a swipe on Colt's midsection.

"Bake me a cake as fast as you can!"

Jem kicked Colt away, who rolled a bit before getting to his feet.

Jem smirked. "Sorry, dud. But I'm the Patty Cake Champion!"

"YOU'RE NOT NAPPA!"

"Well, I'm bald, so I could be."

"Nappa didn't have a beard!"

"…" Jem went wide-eyed and gasped. "I can be a _better_ Nappa!"

…

…

"I'm going to shoot you now," Colt stated.

Colt quickly changed one scythe-pick into a revolver. He aimed it at the drunk.

 **CLICK!**

…What?

 **CLICK-CLICK!**

"The hell?" Colt asked, confused.

His guns were always loaded! Did it jam?

 **CLICK, CLICK, CLICK!**

All six bullets jamming? There's no way! And he certainly didn't load duds into the gun, either.

"Ha!" Jem laughed. "My good luck saves the day!"

Colt raised an eyebrow. "What?"

"Yeah, my Semblance is basically the opposite of Qrow's. I call it the 'Luck of the Irish'! Fitting, since I'm part Irish, apparently."

Colt stared blankly at Jem, then at his own gun….

He then aimed straight up at the ceiling, away from Jem, and pulled the trigger.

 **BANG!**

Colt sighed. "Fuck your Semblance."

"That's what everyone says! Even my fiance."

Okay, so Colt couldn't shoot Jem…well, maybe if he kept trying, then he would. After all, the shots can't keep jamming forever, can they?

"Now it's My Turn to shoot you!"

Colt felt like Jem unintentionally made a pun and- wait, what?

Jem's weapon turned into a Colt Peacemaker.

"Oh hey, you have a revolver, too?" Colt asked.

"Yup!" Jem answered. "Makes me feel like a cowboy."

"I know, right? Kinda why I got revolvers myself."

"No kidding?"

"Yeah."

"That's cool."

…

…

"I'm gonna shoot you now!" Jem exclaimed cheerfully as he fired two shots.

Colt quickly extended his riot shield and blocked the bullets.

Jem looked surprised. "You have a riot shield?"

"I'm in a school filled with super-powered hormonal teenagers. I _need_ this."

Jem deadpanned. "It seems a little excessive."

"Hey, this thing saved me more times than I can count, so shut up!"

Jem continued firing while Colt kept hiding behind his riot shield.

Annoyed, Jem turned his gun back into tomahawk and knife and charged at the man.

Meanwhile, Colt secretly transformed his revolver into its third form.

Jem struck at the riot shield with tomahawk and knife. He only managed to make Colt stumble back step by step.

Colt finally moved his riot shield to the side…and struck forward with his Gladius in a stabbing motion.

"WHOA!" Jem barely managed to dodge that.

He quickly backed up.

Colt did a few practice swings with the Gladius.

"You should stand down," he said, bashing his Gladius on his riot shield twice before getting in a stance. "I may not be well-trained like this, but I can still kick your ass."

Jem tilted his head. "Should you really have told me that?"

…

…

Colt's face fell. "Now that I think about it…no. No, I should not have."

Jem snickered.

Colt glared. "Hey, didn't you tell me what your Semblance was a moment ago?"

Jem paused. "…Touché."

Colt smirked. "Right, well- YAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!"

"OH SHIT!" Jem yelled.

Colt rammed into Jem with his riot shield, constantly bashing him with it like a Call of Duty player would do in multiplayer.

"Dude, that's fucking annoying!"

"It's hurting you, so I don't give a shit!"

Colt continued with the bashing.

* * *

 _(With Velvet and Coco)_

"…"

"…"

Velvet and Coco arrived around the time the bearded guy finished puking and attacked Colt. They two second-years simply stood there watching the fight in silence.

"…Velvet?"

"I'm just as confused as you are."

Today had officially become weird.

They could _really_ use some context right now.

"Did we miss it?!" A little lion girl ran into the picture.

"Oh…my…Oum!" Coco picked up the little lion girl.

"YOU ARE SO CUTE!" She exclaimed as she saw the little lion Faunus in her little safari outfit.

"Velvet, look at this!"

Velvet stared at the little lion girl being held up by Coco as though she had found the meaning of life itself. it didn't help that a bright light reigned down on the little lion girl as though she were the chosen one.

"Hmm," Nala said. "Now I know how Simba felt after he was born."

Nala then noticed Velvet.

"…Do I know you?"

Velvet raised an eyebrow. "What?"

"I feel like I've seen you before, but I don't know when."

"Ahem."

Nala looked down to find a waving Violet.

She looked back to Velvet, then to Violet….

"Are you two sisters?"

"Yup!" Violet answered.

"Wow! You're basically a mini version of this person!"

Violet huffed. "Yes, I know. I've heard it too many times, already. It's getting old."

Nala giggled. "I'm sure."

Nala was set down next to Violet."

"So, Violet," Velvet began. "Who's this? A new friend?"

Violet made to answer…then paused.

"…Yes?"

She turned to Nala. "We're friends, right?"

Nala raised her arms. "Well, duh! Why wouldn't we be?"

She hugged Violet, lifting the bunny off her feet.

"You are my Pikachu!"

Nala rubbed her cheek against Violet's, who was confused as to what a "Pikachu" was, but was happy all the same to finally have a friend her age to play with!

Coco nearly fainted from the cuteness alone. Meanwhile, Velvet suddenly felt her "overprotective sister mode" begin to activate, but she quickly shut it down.

They were just friends, and little girls at that. Surely that cheek rubbing was just friendly, right?

Right?

Nala finally set Violet down.

"Anyway," Violet continued. "Did we miss the fight?"

That threw Coco and Velvet for a loop.

"Wait, why do you want to see the fight?" Coco asked as both little girls glared at each other.

"I have money on my daddy!" both said as the two older women were confused.

"Huh?"

"COME ON DADDY! KNOCK HIS BLOCK OFF!" Nala was making punching motions with her hands.

"SHOW THAT CRAZY GUY WHO'S BOSS!" Violet said while imitating kicking motions.

"…Is…my little sister betting on human cock fights?" Velvet was suddenly very worried.

"I'm sure that's not what is going on." Coco said as they suddenly saw two more people run into the fray.

"Are they okay?!" Velvet and Coco turned to see….

Two Winters.

…

…

"What?" Coco took her sunglasses off to make sure she wasn't seeing things. Don't tell me there was somehow _another_ Winter joining the competition for Colt?

"T-T-Two of them…" Velvet thought she had gone crazy.

"Long story, can't explain now, after fight." Winter (OOP) said as she turned to Jem.

"You have to fight Jem!" She noticed Jem was currently taking a few punches to the face.

"Why are you rooting for the bald guy?" Coco was certain Winter had a thing for Colt.

"That's my fiance!" Now that threw Coco for a loop.

Winter (MT) raises a hand. "Relax, that is _her_ fiancé. I am the Winter that you know."

This only confused the two second-years even more.

"Hey, were are the others?" Winter (OOP) pointed out as Ozpin, Glynda and Qrow were nowhere to be found.

 _(Back in Ozpin's office)_

"Why are we watching from up here?" Qrow asked as they were looking at the fight through security cameras.

"Because your Semblance may negatively affect Colt's performance." Ozpin said with a sip of his coffee.

"Oh yeah? Well I'm not betting on him! I'm going down!" Qrow yelled as he ran down the stairs.

"…Hehe. He fell for it. Hook, line, and sinker."

"Professor?" Glynda asked.

Ozpin grinned. "Qrow's semblance affects everyone in the vicinity. If he goes down there, it will neutralize Jem's semblance. Leaving him vulnerable to attack."

"You…you tricked Qrow into going down there?" Glynda couldn't believe the headmaster was actually using trickery to change the outcome.

"I have 50 lien on Mr. Remington. Of course I'm going to cheat."

In reality, Ozpin had no faith in Jem's abilities. He could sense he was strong, but there was no way he had a chance against Colt. The boy was too well-trained. But the only thing Jem had going for him was his good luck semblance. If you took that away, it would take a miracle for the boy to recover from losing his biggest advantage in a fight.

And Ozpin was just going to sit back, watch the fight, and count his Lien once it came home.

* * *

 **MAO: Wow...who knew Ozpin could be so underhanded?**

 **JC: That doesn't actually surprise me, Ozpin always rubbed me as the type who can be a real dick when he wants to be.**

 **MAO: No, not a dick. A troll. There's a difference.**

 **JC: Whats the difference? I'm curious**

 **MAO: A d*** pulls crap like this for bad intent. A troll pulls crap like this for the lulzs. Admittedly, Ozpin's doing this for Lien, but it technically falls under troll territory.**

 **JC: Ah I see...So...Colt is still sane, although he probably knows how Freeza felt when he fought Goku in DBZ abridged.**

 **MAO: Yeah, and it's not even over yet. Poor guy.**

 **JC: Yeah, also can we just talk about how CUTE Violet and Nala are being?**

 **MAO: Ah yes. Such an adorable little duo. It's almost like we're planning something for the two. But that can't possibly be the case, now can it?**

 **JC: Us? Noooooooooo, why would we do that? Unless...wait we do this for the lulz...are we trolls?**

 **MAO: ...Nah, I think we're still good. Anyway, it's about time to end this. You all know the drill. If you liked this and want to be kept up to date, be sure to follow and fav. Leave a review while you're at it! We'd love to hear from you guys.**

 **JC: Yep, well, as always, bye for now! And see you next time!**

 **MAO: LATERS!**


	8. Colt vs Jem (Part II)

**MAO: Hey fellow readers! Welcome to another installment of It's My Turn to feel Out of Place!**

 **JC: Yep, and boy what a day it is. So who's ready for this?**

 **MAO: Ah, yes. The conclusion to the completely unnecessary fight that happened anyway. Colt vs. Jem. Let's not delay any further. On with the chapter!**

 **JC: Yep, Viva La Jem!**

* * *

 _Disclaimer: Neither I nor JC of the Corn own RWBY._ _Cover image by sumopiggy on Deviantart._

* * *

 _(Third POV; Beacon Courtyard)_

Last we left off in this "epic" fight, Colt was bashing Jem with his riot shield.

…

…

Other than a change of scenery, not much has changed since then.

"Ow! Ow! Ow! Ow!" Jem was constantly being hit in the head by a riot shield.

"STOP TALKING!"

"Stop hitting me!"

"No! I know that trick!"

"What trick?"

Colt pulled his shield back for a bit as he glared at Jem.

"The one where you ask me to stop hitting you, and then as soon as I pull back, you-" Colt was cut off as he was punched in the throat by Jem.

Colt gasped and gagged.

"Then why did you fall for it?" Jem smirked.

"YOU SUCK!" Colt said as Jem narrowed his eyes.

"Hey! I had the opportunity for a nut shot! Don't question my integrity!" At that everyone deadpanned.

"You tackled him out the window and you're talking about integrity?" Winter MT was absolutely sure this guy had a few bolts loose.

"Well yeah. Tackling him out a window is one thing, a swift kick to the balls is another." Jem knew that was the guy code.

"…Colt…do you believe that?" Winter MT was hoping it wasn't true.

Colt shrugged. "I honestly don't know, but it's not like I would've done it anyway."

Jem gawked. "What do you mean you don't know? It's guy code!"

"I wasn't a very social person back on Earth, so I wouldn't know about that. And my life here hasn't exactly brought that topic up in any way."

"…You need to get out more."

"You need to stop drinking at times that don't call for it."

Jem was offended.

"Oh yeah? Well…KNIFE!"

"Knife? What th- OH GEEZ!"

Jem had stabbed his knife forward, but Colt blocked it with his riot shield.

Jem growled. That riot shield, while effective, was a pain in the ass. But Jem knew one thing that Colt didn't….okay actually, Colt knew it too. But Colt made a very big mistake by telling Jem that he wasn't well trained with the gladius/riot shield combo. Granted, it didn't look too hard, just block and stab. But then again, considering how he seemed to be on the defensive, it must have been awkward for him.

"I'm siiiinnging in the rain! Just siiiinngging in the rain!" Jem sang out as he slashed at Colt multiple times.

"No singing!"

"What? You don't like musicals?" Jem actually seemed slightly offended at that.

"Now is not the time for that!" Colt had a feeling that Jem was just trying to irritate him.

Jem shrugged as he continued singing, but now he was doing it even louder because Colt didn't want him to sing.

"IT'S THE EYE OF THE TIGER IT'S THE THRILL OF A FIGHT!" Jem was continuing to slash and sing.

"…I hate you. I hate you so much right now."

Oh woe is Colt.

Jem knew his singing had a purpose…well, _two_ purposes. One, because he liked to sing. And two, because he knew that Colt would be distracted by it. So, if anything, he _was_ fighting by singing. But in a way he was also just doing it to be a dick….

The point was if it ain't broke, don't fix it.

The problem was that Colt was moving away as Jem was trying to advance. And when you have a tomahawk, your advantage is at close range. But, Jem couldn't manage to hook onto the shield to get it away. Plus, Jem had to keep dodging the gladius strikes.

He had been bitten and stabbed before, and it _suuuuuuuuuuuucked_. Then again, the first thing Pyrrha ever taught him when she was teaching him to fight with a knife was.

 _"Expect to get cut, because chances are you_ will _get cut."_

"AGH!" Jem yelled as Colt got him.

"OW!" Colt yelled as Jem got him.

"This is nothing like in the movies! Damn you Steven Seagal!" Jem shook his fist at the sky.

"…Are you drunk?" Colt asked as he noticed that Jem was stumbling a bit.

"I'm definitely not sober!"

"…You mean to tell me you've been _drunk_ this whole time?!"

"Now hey hey hey hey!" Jem held up a finger. "I am only _partially_ drunk!"

"That's still drunk!"

"Hey, Mr. Pedo-?"

"I'm not a pedo! How many times do I have to say it?!"

"Mr. Pedo-?"

"WHAT?!"

"…Look at your hand."

"Why?"

"Look."

"WHY?! THERE'S NOTHING T-" Colt's eyes widened as he noticed his riot shield was gone.

"What the… _how_? WHEN?!" When did Jem steal his riot shield?

"I stole it from you when you got distracted by my rant about Steven Seagal." Jem smiled as he held onto it.

"…So you're not actually drunk?" Colt asked as that made him feel better.

"Well, I was being honest. I'm not exactly sober. I mean, you saw me take a sip of moonshine."

"…" Colt was dead silent.

"HEY! WHAT DID I MISS?!" Qrow yelled out as Jem suddenly looked worried.

"Dad! Er I mean, other Qrow...I don't know, what do I call him?" Jem wasn't sure.

"…Oh, screw it! Why are you here?" Jem was worried all of a sudden.

"I came to watch the fight."

"…Oh crap." Jem knew he was in a bit of trouble.

* * *

 _(Ozpin POV)_

Ozpin let out an evil chuckle.

"And so my master plan is coming together."

Glynda stared at her boss.

"…You need to see a professional-."

"Wrestler?"

"N-No! A _psychiatrist_! Why would you think I'd suggest a wrestler of all people?!"

Ozpin shrugged. "References are funny."

Glynda gawked. "…Wha-?"

"That Spongebob has an annoying laugh, though."

"…Wha-?"

"In any case," Ozpin continued, ignoring Glynda's massive confusion. "All that's left is for Colt to snap."

That brought Glynda out of her confusion. "I beg your pardon?"

"Glynda, how much of a migraine did Mr. Cotton cause for you?"

" _Massive_ ," Glynda answered immediately.

"Well then," Ozpin began. "Imagine a person like that interacting with Mr. Remington."

…

…

Glynda went wide-eyed. "Oh dear god."

"Indeed," Ozpin grinned. "As you've seen so far, Mr. Remington has been rather annoyed with Mr. Cotton. This is because both have differing personalities. It wouldn't be long before one grows frustrated with the other. And since this is a fight, one must take out their…frustrations."

Glynda rubbed her eyes. "I'm calling a therapist for you as soon as this fight is over."

"Go ahead," Ozpin challenged. "Many therapists have tried and failed to 'help' me."

He folded his hands together and grinned wickedly.

"All that's left is for Colt to snap, and the Lien is mine."

If only he could see into Colt's mind.

* * *

 _(Colt 1st POV)_

…

…

…

You know, I've dealt with a lot of crap in my time here. And I mean, _a lot_ ,

But _this_ guy? This guy takes the cake.

It's like he spouts off complete bullshit in a vain attempt to make it sound like it makes sense!

Combine it with his randomness of singing and drinking and whatever other annoying habits he has, and…I just….

You know what? That "therapy" that I would get by beating the shit out of this guy? I'm getting me some of that _right now_.

* * *

 _(Third POV)_

"Well…this is not going to go well is it?" Jem said as he had a tighter grip on his weapons.

"GAAAAHHH!" Colt charged at the bald redneck in what appeared to be a homicidal rage.

"…Hey bunny girl!" Jem yelled out to Violet.

"What?"

"Is it possible to pay in advance for swearing?!" Jem really needed to know.

"Um, I suppose so?"

Suddenly she saw a lien card get thrown in her direction.

"There's about fifty. Also, cover Nala's ears."

"Why would I-?"

Suddenly Colt tackled Jem.

"FUCK TITTY ASS SPRINKLE!" Suddenly Jem felt himself on the ground.

Violet immediately understood why now and covered Nala's ears. Nala, for her part, decided to cover Violet's own ears as well….

"Um," said Nala. "I can't cover your cute bunny ears."

Winter OOP and Velvet bristled a bit at what Nala said.

Coco knelt down and covered Violet's bunny ears. "I've got them."

"W-Wait!" Violet said. "If they swear, I won't be able to penalize them!"

Coco chuckled. "Don't worry, I'll keep tabs on them."

As for the fight….

"YOU CRAZY FUCK!" Colt didn't even care who was there at the moment.

He ditched his weapons in favor of raining bombs (his fists) down on this crazy bastard! Anything to get him shut up! This…THIS…THIS MANIAC JUST SAID RANDOM STUFF JUST TO PISS HIM OFF!

WELL NOW HE WAS GETTING HIS WISH!

"Oh shit." Qrow had never seen Colt _this_ pissed before.

And that was saying quite a bit.

"Son of a-" Jem found himself tossed into the wall, making a man-shaped indent.

That knocked the wind right out of him as he could have sworn he heard something break, he checked his scroll really quick, he was still safe when it came to Aura, but Colt showed no sign of slowing down. He soon saw him jump up to Jem's indent in the wall.

"GAK!" Jem felt two strong hands on his throat.

"GOING DOWN!"

Colt leaned backward and piledrived them both to the ground.

"Oooohhhhh." All the onlookers winced as that had to hurt.

"Don't worry, Daddy! You got a hard head!" Nala yelled even though she was worried for her father.

"AHHHH!" Jem was then tossed into another wall

"Y-Yeah…." Jem walked out of the indent in the wall.

What was it with Jem and making indents in walls or rocks or stuff like that?

At least now he knew how Doc from Red vs. Blue felt.

"Well, this is not going as I planned." Before he had time to catch his breath Colt was on him with punches and kicks.

"Ow!" Jem exclaimed as he felt a knee to the gut.

"OOF!" He grunted as he felt a punch to the throat.

Okay, this was so not going according to plan. As soon as Qrow showed up, Jem lost his main advantage. And Jem may have been skilled, but he could tell Colt had some training of his own. And right now Colt was so pissed that there was no way he was calming down anytime soon. So what was Jem's strategy? Well it was to do what he did best…survive.

…

…

Which was made more difficult since Colt disarmed Jem of his weapon.

"HEY, MY GUN!" Jem yelled as he was hit in the head with the butt of the Winchester rifle form. He fell back in a roll, not noticing Colt fiddle with the gun a bit. When he got back to his feet, Colt was now staring at the gun.

"Nice rifle," He said with a dark tone.

"…" Jem was hoping he wasn't thinking what he was thinking about.

"You know, I've dealt with crazy. I've dealt with evil. But you…YOU! JUST MAKE ME! GO! NUMB!"

It was at this moment Jem realized that Mr. Pedo may have gone a little bit off the deep end.

"Now, l-let's not make any hasty decisions." Jem was trying to placate the crazy guy.

Mostly because his rifle had one feature he would rather not face. And one that could end the fight very quickly if Colt figured it out. So Jem needed to try and defuse the situation before it got too out of hand….

Well before it got any worse than it was now. Because to be honest it was still out of hand, and yes he may have contributed to it. But now this guy….he had a gleam in his eyes that Jem knew was not the sign of a man being driven crazy by a nutcase, but the sign of a man willing to kill.

He knew the look well, he had it when he killed White Fang.

"Oh, hasty?! HASTY?! Like tackling someone out a window?!" Colt yelled as he was not getting any calmer.

 _Shit, this is not going to work._ Jem thought as he was sobered up.

The problem with a shit ton of pain suddenly enveloping you from everywhere is that it did a good job at knocking you out of whatever haze you were in. And believe it or not, Jem could fight tipsy as he could sober. Mostly because he figured it would give him an advantage over opponents who chose to underestimate him.

But now was not the time for that, because he needed all of his wits about him for this grand finale.

"Look, let's not do something we'll both regret here." Jem was trying to drive the point across as Colt pointed his own rifle at him with one hand…for some reason.

"Oh like this?" He asked as he put his finger on the trigger.

"Okay, Mr. Remington! I am BEGGING you! DON'T PULL THAT TRIGGER!" Jem actually sounded desperate right now.

"Ha! Your daddy is desperate because he's going to lose!" Violet said as Nala shook her head.

"No! He's not giving up! I don't know why he's acting like that!"

It's true, Nala didn't know why.

And neither did Winter OOP.

"Oh, you mean…THIS TRIGGER!" Colt yelled as he pulled the trigger.

"SHIT!" Jem yelled.

A massive torrent of hellfire and brimstone burst forth from the simple rifle.

"HOLY SHIT!" Qrow yelled as he saw the massive burst.

Colt was blown back a few feet.

"SON OF A BITCH!" Colt was not expecting that to happen.

* * *

 _(Back in the office)_

"DEAR GOD!" Glynda yelled as both Ozpin and herself stood out of their seats.

"WHAT KIND OF ROUNDS DID HE HAVE IN THAT GUN?!" Even Ozpin was amazed and a bit worried.

That was far beyond a regular dust round. In fact, that looked like something that James would have in his arsenal….wait…oh no. No, that couldn't be!

"Glynda…the Atlesian army issues incendiary explosive rounds to Atlesian soldiers, right? And if they're a Huntsman, they're allowed to use their primary method rather than the standard issue Atlesian infantry rifle?" Ozpin suddenly had a terrible feeling.

"Y-Yes." Goodwitch could see where he was going.

"Mr. Cotton was warning Colt not to use that because he knew what rounds were in it."

"You don't think…."

"I think….our little wager went too far."

* * *

 _(Back to the plot)_

"Oooowwww." Colt got up from the ground, officially snapped out of his rage.

"What the hell kind of bullets did he have in that gun?"

He looked down at the Winchester in his hands. He unloaded the bullets to inspect them.

"…Seems like some sort of explosive bullet, if the Fire Dust in it is anything to go by.

Colt stared back at the rifle. "Still, a revolver _and_ a Winchester rifle? This guy really likes the Old West, huh?

He looked up to the spectatprs. "So did I w-?"

He stopped talking as he saw the look on Winter OOP and Nala's faces.

Winter OOP had fallen to her knees, with her hand covering her mouth in shock. While Nala had tears budding in her eyes.

"D-D-D-Daddy?" Her voice was so full of pain and….sadness that struck at Colt's heartstrings.

"Guys, what's wrong?"

"Colt…h-he's gone…" Qrow said as he pointed a finger behind him.

"What?"

And then he turned around, and he dropped the rifle in shock at what he saw.

As it turns out, those dust rounds really _were_ explosive rounds. And they were powerful….too powerful. He saw a giant scorch mark on the concrete for the school yard. With bits and pieces of some of the light posts hanging about, melted by the heat.

"Oh crap."

"J-J-Jem?" He turned back to see Winter OOP, and his heart clenched.

He had never seen her so vulnerable. The Winter he knew was a strong, formidable woman. One who would not take shit from any man or woman from Atlas, Vale or any of the nations on Remnant…and that was what made the sight even worse.

Because for the first time in his life, he saw Winter, _the_ Winter Schnee….

With tears running down her face.

"N-No…h-he can't be gone…no," Winter begged as she hugged Nala close.

"D-Daddy can't be gone! He promised! He PROMISED!" Nala cried into Winter's shoulder.

A promise…must be something personal between them.

Colt shook a bit as he stared back at the hole….

Then he stopped when he noticed something odd.

He took a step closer to the crater and searched it and the area around it carefully.

He then searched around the courtyard….

Not that Colt meant for his mind to turn gory, but…shouldn't there be some form of blood stain? Or a body part or two to indicated Jem had been blown up?

…

…

Colt slowly looked up.

Unless it was gonna get _really_ gory and start raining blood and body pa-?

"CAW! CAW!"

"AGH! SON OF A BITCH!"

Something suddenly attacked Colt's face with claws, cawing all the while. Thank heavens Colt still had some Aura left. Otherwise, he'd be left with some scars…or his eyes gouged out.

"What the hell?!" he yelled as he grabbed something and threw it off.

It was….an American Bald Eagle?

But where had it come from? And why did it attack him? What the hell was going on? More importantly, why did the Eagle seem to be glaring at him, almost as if the bird knew him somehow?

Suddenly the bird seemed to _morph_ and-.

"Jem?" Colt asked as the man suddenly replaced the bald eagle and fell to the ground.

"Ow! Damn it!"

Jem was somehow still alive, although he was missing his shirt…again. Geez, at this point he was like David Hasselhoff who had to take his shirt off in every movie he was in.

"DADDY!" Nala cried as she ran to give him a hug.

"Easy Nala…I'm okay…I'm okay." He said as he hugged her and walked over to Winter.

"D-Did you just-?" She asked as Jem nodded.

"Well, Dad was right. It happened at a time of great stress." Jem said as Winter did the only thing she could do.

She hugged him tightly almost as if he was going to disappear.

"I-I knew you would come back." Nala sobbed quietly into his shoulder as Jem looked down at her.

"Hey…I made a promise didn't I?" Jem smiled down at his daughter, a sign of comfort as he realized she needed this.

"Yes, yes you did." No more tears, Nala was happy her father was alive.

"Well, that settles it," Qrow said. "You're definitely my son."

Qrow knew that the technique he just used was passed on in the tribe he was descended from.

"I was lucky. I had never been able to master it back home. I was lucky I could use it here."

Then Jem turned to glare at Colt.

"Now…I can be a forgiving man."

This was not the same Jem that Colt was fighting before.

"I forgave a friend for stealing my truck. I forgave my adoptive mother for abandoning me. I forgave Winter for calling me a miserable drunk…."

"But what I _can't_ forgive-."

Colt had never seen Jem glare at anyone before.

"-Is that you made my daughter cry."

Jem picked his rifle up off the ground.

"Uhhhh." Colt honestly didn't know what to do.

"I won't kill you." Jem said as everyone breathed out a sigh of relief.

"But-."

Jem launched a fist towards Colt's gut.

"LET'S SEE HOW YOU LIKE-!"

Jem's fist was caught by Colt's hand.

Jem blinked. "…Huh."

That was not how Jem thought it would go. It should've been righteous fury domination on the man who made his daughter cry.

"Okay, first off," Colt began. " _Really_ glad you're not dead. For a moment there, I thought I had killed someone in cold blood."

He laughed a bit in relief. "Glad that's not the case."

Jem yanked his fist out and made for another punch, only for Colt to move to the side and grab the arm under his own.

"Secondly," Colt continued. "Considering the near-death that could've been an _actual_ death, it just shows that this has gone too far now."

Colt looked behind Jem to Winter OOP.

"Which I still blame you for starting."

"H-Hey!" Despite being true, she was still offended.

Jem landed a hit on Colt's stomach, causing him to grunt and stumble back, letting go of Jem.

Colt rubbed his stomach, but continued.

"A-And I guess I kinda escalated it by not choosing my words carefully and losing my cool for a moment there, so…I guess the blame's not _entirely_ on you."

Jem glared and landed a hit on Colt's face. "How dare you put blame on my fiance, you stalker/pedo-?!"

"A-And that's a-another thing," Colt interrupted, spitting out blood. "I am _not_ a stalker or pedophile. You're just a bit too angry right now to listen."

He sighed. "But...I guess I'll have to explain it to you later. After you wake up, that is."

Jem charged. "You still need to pay for making my daughter cry!"

As Jem closed in, Colt said one last thing."

"By the way...I still haven't used my Semblance."

Colt turned invisible.

Jem came to a stop _real_ quick.

"Oh shit, I forgot about-."

He suddenly felt a punch to his gut, then was tripped of his feet, his arm pinned behind him. When he looked back, Colt became visible, using his knee to pin down Jem.

"I WILL BOIL YOUR ASS IN-!"

Jem never got to finish his Smokey and the Bandit reference, as Colt pulled out his Taser and placed the zapper part on the redneck's neck, tasing him.

"HERGEKARGARGKEFLEBEGARDSHI-!"

Colt let the Taser keep on tasing.

...

...

"Um, Daddy-?" Violet began.

"Just a minute, sweetheart. Making sure he won't suddenly get back up afterwards."

The tasing continued.

...

...

"Um, Colt-?," Winter MT tried.

"Just a little more, I reckon.

The Taser remained on.

...

...

"COLT!" everyone shouted.

"What?" he asked as looked at them, as though nothing was wrong.

"He's freaking _foaming_ in the mouth!" Qrow shouted.

Colt looked down to find this to be true.

"...Huh, how about that?"

Okay, Colt _might_ have still had some anger left in him, hence why the Taser was still tasing.

"COLT!" everyone went again.

"Oh alright, _fine_."

Colt removed the Taser, and Jem's body fell in a slump, occasionally twitching...

Yeah, no way Jem was gonna spontaneously regain consciousness to continue the fight.

Colt sighed. "And like that, it's done."

He looked up to find a glaring Winter OOP and Nala.

"Hey, you started this whole mess, Winter. So it's partially your fault I had to tase him."

Nala was having none of it. "NALA KICK!"

Nala was once again soaring in the air in a kicking pose.

Colt caught her by the leg.

"Dang it," Nala pouted.

Colt chuckled. "Sorry, kid. Gonna need to be faster than that."

He set Nala down and picked up and unconscious Jem, heaving him over his shoulder.

"Now if you all excuse me, I need to get this guy to the infirmary."

Colt walked away, carrying Jem in a fireman's carry.

…

…

Coco turned to Winter MT. "Can you please explain what's going on?"

Winter MT sighed. "It's…a long story."

Qrow was suddenly crying anime tears.

Velvet raised an eyebrow. "What's wrong?"

"I-I lost the bet!"

…

…

Winter OOP and Nala went wide-eyed.

Winter MT smirked.

Violet pointed at them. "HA! My daddy beat your daddy! I win!"

"W-Wait! The fight got out of hand! And Qrow came and messed it up with his bad luck!"

Qrow stopped crying when he heard that….

"OZPIN, YOU SON OF A-!"

* * *

 _(Back to Glynda and Ozpin)_

Ozpin cackled madly.

"Too late, you dusty old crow! The Lien is mine!"

Meanwhile, Glynda was on her scroll.

"Yes, Mr. Sigmund Freud? I'd like to schedule an appointment for my boss."

As Glynda finished setting up the appointment, Ozpin couldn't help but wonder….

'How did Mr. Cotton survive that blast?"

Glynda simply shrugged. "It seems Mr. Cotton is luckier than we thought."

Honestly, the whole thing seemed like a miracle.

"No, I mean it's not possible without his Semblance. How did he survive that blast?" Ozpin didn't understand it.

"Professor, shouldn't we just be glad that he's still alive?" Goodwitch asked as he nodded.

"We should be, but…nobody is that lucky, _especially_ when they lose their good luck charm."

"Professor, if I may. While Mr. Cotton shares his differences with Mr. Remington, I noticed they are both similar in one regard." She motioned to the two little Faunus girls on screen who were arguing over whose father was better.

"They both love their daughters, and that can be a powerful factor for survival."

…

…

Ozpin smiled. "Ah, yes. Of course."

One must never underestimate what a father is willing to do or endure in order to see his daughter again or make her smile.

Ozpin leaned back. "Well, I'm sure they can sort out this mess on their own, so all that's left is to collect my winnings."

Glynda frowned. "Making a bet was completely unnecessary."

"Well, it's too late now. Besides, Miss Schnee and young Violet get their cut as well."

Glynda sighed. "I suppose s-."

"After taxes and expenses incurred, of course."

Glynda blinked. "…Are you actually planning to rip them of-?"

"Yes. Yes, I am."

He smirked evilly. "As I said…the Lien is _mine_."

Glynda called Mr. Freud again to see if the appointment could be moved up sooner.

* * *

 **MAO: Well...that nearly went dark real quick, huh?**

 **JC: Yeah...damn...Jem lost. My home team lost.**

 **MAO: Eh, blame Ozpin. Sending Qrow down there took away Jem's only advantage over Colt. It could've gone either way, otherwise.**

 **JC: Yeah true, oh well, at least Colt won fair and square like the polls say. Not much we can do.**

 **MAO: Yup. Speaking of polls, let's see what happened with the poll we set up!**

 **Jem - 78**

 **Colt - 39**

 **...**

 **...**

 ***Le MAO in the fetal position***

 **MAO: Readers...whyyyyyyyyy?**

 **JC: Wow, I won the...hey, wait a minute. Jem won the poll?**

 ***Le MAO gets out of fetal position***

 **MAO: Yeah, pretty much.**

 **JC: ...Do you think the readers who voted are going to be pissed at us?**

 **MAO: ...Maybe a little, but the poll was just for them to pick a side. Not for who would win the fight.**

 **JC: Still though, I'm thanking the readers, They must really love Jem!**

 ***Le MAO grumbles to himself***

 **...**

 **...**

 ***Le MAO sighs***

 **MAO: Oh well, you all know the drill. If you liked this and want to be kept up to date, be sure to follow and fav. Leave a review while you're at it! We'd love to hear from you guys.**

 **JC: Yeah, and let us know what you thought!**

 **MAO & JC: LATERS!**


	9. Aftermath, Arrest(?), and Trouble

**MAO: Hey everyone! Welcome to another installment of It's My Turn to feel Out of Place!**

 **JC: And what a great day it is! A great day to publish! And just a great day overall! Its fantastic!**

 **MAO: You seem awfully chipper today.**

 **JC: I am! Well, I just got good news, I go back to MEPS on Wednesday and complete my enlistment into the US Army! I'm not sure when my ship date is, but turns out I'll be able to join after all!**

 **MAO: Ah. Good for you, then. I'm sure you'll do our country proud when the time comes.**

 **JC: Yep! But enough about that, this chapter we have a very special treat for the readers, don't we?**

 **MAO: Ah yes. This chapter will be quite amusing. But first, a short recap.**

 ***clears throat***

 **MAO: Last we left off, Colt and Jem finally finished their completely unnecessary fight, with Colt taking the victory. And Trollpin screwed with it to win some Lien. Now we just see the aftermath.**

 **JC: So sit back, and enjoy the ride!**

* * *

 _Disclaimer: Neither I nor JC of the Corn own RWBY._ _Cover image by sumopiggy on Deviantart._

* * *

Colt, Jem, and Winter OOP were currently in the infirmary, with the bearded redneck laying comfortably on one of the beds.

After Colt had taken Jem to the infirmary, Winter OOP had chosen to follow to be with her fiance. Winter MT stayed behind to give a sort of "explanation" to a confused Coco and Velvet as to what happened. Qrow had apparently ran back into the tower, growling something about strangling a troll. Nala and Violet went off on their own in the main building where all the classrooms were.

Once in the infirmary, the nurse had checked on Jem and later said that he'd be alright, except for some bruises that would go away soon.

The wonders of Aura, ladies and gents.

Winter OOP sat near Jem while Colt sat across from them. She chose to apologize for instigating the fight in the first place, admitting it had been for…childish reasons.

The main reason being-.

"You were a bit of a jerk," Winter OOP said.

Colt stared blankly. "…What?"

"Well, you didn't believe me when I explained who I was-."

"I was in the right to be suspicious!"

"And you were supposedly stalking Nala and I-."

"Okay, _look_ ," Colt grit out. "I was not _stalking_ you. I was _scouting_ you. Scouting! As in, reconnaissance! Don't they have that in the military?!"

"…Yes?"

"Well, there you go."

Winter OOP looked sheepish. "W-Well…you still laughed insensitively at Jem. _Twice_ , I might add."

…

…

"Yeah, okay," Colt admitted. "I guess I was a bit of a jerk at that point. I'll give you that. I said I was sorry, though?"

Winter OOP sighed. "Well…I guess you paid for it in the end, even if it went too far."

She bowed slightly. "For that, I apologize."

Colt just stared…and sighed.

"Forget it. It happened. Let's just try to move past it."

She smiled. "Thank y-."

"That being said, I'm still _very_ pissed and may be for quite some time."

Her smile fell.

"But don't worry. No grudges will be had. Too much of a headache."

She sighed. At least there was that.

Eventually, Jem had finally woken up and had been given an explanation about everything. Seeing Colt, Jem tried to lunge, but Colt drawing his gun (and Jem being unarmed) made the redneck rethink his plan. Which allowed Winter OOP to explain some things.

"So," Jem said. "You're _not_ a creeper? Or a pedo?"

"No," Colt said pointedly. "No, I am not."

"…Whoops."

Colt grit his teeth. "Whoops? You tackle me _through_ a window, off a tall building, nearly killing us in the process, get into a fight with me, and all you can say is _whoops_?!"

…

…

"Yes?"

Colt took a deep breath and let it out.

"…I'm just going to bury this deep in my mind and never address it again. If only to retain my sanity and not rage."

Jem frowned. "That doesn't seem very healthy."

"I don't wanna hear that from a guy who takes the time to drink when either falling off a skyscraper or in battle."

Colt sighed. "In any case, I think it's about time I take you two and your daughter to where you'll be staying."

At the mention of his daughter's name, Jem looked around. "Where is Nala, anyway?"

"She went with Violet," Colt answered.

Winter OOP frowned in thought.

"Something wrong?" Jem asked.

"…Nothing…I think."

"What's that supposed to-?"

Jem's scroll rang, interrupting him.

He answered. "Hello?"

" _Daddy, help!"_

Jem immediately sprang out of bed. "Nala, what's wrong?!"

" _I'm in jail!"_

…

…

"Wait, what?"

* * *

 _(A few minutes earlier)_

Violet and Nala were walking side by side down a random hallway.

"So…what do you do all day?" Nala asked as she cleaned her revolver.

"I'm a hall monitor!" Violet said while puffing out her chest.

Nala was slightly confused. "Really? But you're dressed as a police officer?"

"Well, yeah, I needed a uniform! And this fit! And I like it! Doesn't it look good?" Violet asked showing it off.

"Hm? Oh yeah!" Nala said as she wasn't very…fashionable.

"So what's with your outfit?" Violet asked pointing to the safari getup and hat.

"Oh! My daddy got me this hat! Said it reminded him of the ANZAC….I don't know who they were, but when I asked him about it, he said I would learn about Gallipoli when I was old enough to understand…I don't know what that means."

Nala didn't understand why her dad didn't let her read the military history books yet. But something told her that she wasn't old enough to handle it.

"And the safari outfit?" Violet asked.

"We were on a trip hiking! That and Daddy said he would take me on an African Safari one day!" Nala beamed at that.

When she visited Earth, she wanted to go on a safari so she could see all the animals. Granted, she knew it would have to be when she was older, and better trained to handle her gun. Jem was rather worried about her. Her daddy could be so protective of her sometimes. She didn't know why.

"And the gun?" Violet was still wondering about that.

"Daddy gave it to me! He won't let me have real bullets except for on the range, so he replaced them with stun rounds!" Nala opened the chamber and took some of them out.

"See?" She handed a stun round to Violet.

"So…kind of like my Taser?" She asked as she inspected it.

"Yep! Daddy told me I only get to keep this gun until I'm old enough to make my own, but right now I'm focusing on fixing stuff!"

"Fixing stuff?" Violet asked with a tilt of her head.

"Yeah! Daddy says I have a real hand for mechanics, saved him a lot of money on motorcycle repairs."

Nala really did love her father. And she also learned she _loved_ tinkering with machines. Although she was a bit irritated that he wouldn't let her ride dirt bikes until she was older. She wanted to ride just like him! Why couldn't she?

"Sooooooo, what else do you do?" Nala was trying to get more information on Violet.

"Well like I said, I monitor the halls to make sure students are respecting hall rules. No running or ditching class and all that. Those caught either get detention, or-."

Violet pulled out her baton with a _far too_ innocent smile on her face. "Say hello to my little friend!"

Nala raised an eyebrow. "You can do that? Isn't there some law against that?"

Suddenly, Nala wished she didn't say that.

"I AM ABOVE THE LAW!" Violet yelled as she brushed her hair to the side.

Nala couldn't help but feel like there was a reference there. But she wasn't going to question it.

"I also check any classrooms that are supposed to be empty. Like this one!"

Violet moved towards a set of closed doors and pushed on them.

 **CLANK-CLANK.**

"Yup! Locked."

Nala tilted her head. "What if it's not locked?"

"Then I check inside to see if anyone's inside when they're not supposed to. So far, it's only been professors who are preparing to teach in that class, so they get a free pass."

Interesting.

Violet and Nala continued walking down the halls.

…

…

"So…what now?" Nala didn't know what to do. Honestly after they left the room, they ran out of things to do.

"Well, I suppose you could follow me and be my assistant?" Violet suggested as she checked her scroll. "I'm technically still on duty."

"Sure! That sounds like fun! What do I do?" Nala really didn't want to just be a tag along.

Violet really didn't know what she was going to do with Nala. On one hand, it would be nice to play with her later. But this was still her job. So she needed to find something constructive for Nala to do while she was still working….

Well, she could start small for now.

"Here, take this notepad in case we need it."

Violet handed Nala a notepad and a pen.

"So…you're Sherlock, I'm Watson?" She asked as Violet looked confused.

"Who?"

"Sherlock Holmes and John Watson?"

"Uh, I'm getting the feeling that's something from Earth?"

"Yeah."

"You'll have to explain it to me later, then."

"Mmkay. So now what?" Nala asked.

"Well, let's go patrolling. Also please keep your gun holstered at all times."

She paused.

"…Actually." Violet pointed to a locker. "Please store it there for now, only students, staff, and huntsman can carry weapons on campus, so yours will have to be put in storage until proper registration."

Nala nodded and put her gun in the locker.

Little did she know, her father felt a great disturbance in the force of Freedom as soon as she gave up her gun so easily. But Violet was a cute bunny! It's not like she would keep her gun away from her forever! But that didn't matter, her father would just say-.

" _From my cold dead hands!"_

She really didn't want to hear the lecture again.

"So, it's quiet." Nala said as Violet was checking the halls and another random empty classroom.

"Yeah, usually there is one person who tries to skip."

Violet was disappointed. How was she supposed to show her younger friend that she was not to be trifled with if there were no students she could show her mettle against?

Come to think of it…Violet was starting to notice that this lion girl was following her closely. A little too close, actually. She seemed to be way too eager to help her out on this whole patrol.

"Could you give me some spa-" Suddenly she felt the ground leave her feet.

"Uh oh…" Both girls said as they realized what was going on.

You see, they had both been so concentrated on either checking classrooms (or in Nala's case keeping an eye on Violet waiting for something cool to happen), that they had forgotten to watch where they were going. In other words….

They were falling down the steps.

"OW!" Violet said as she felt her arm hit a step.

"OWIE!" Nala said as her tail got a slight stinging feeling.

Lucky both girls were tough for their age. But as their fathers learned earlier, falling down stairs sucked!

 **BONK!**

 **BANG!**

 **KLUNK!**

"Ow, my head!" Nala said as she hit her forehead.

"Ow, my foot!" Violet said as she felt a weird funny bone sensation in it.

Finally both girls finished rolling at the bottom of the steps.

"…Owwwwwwwwww."

Both were fine, but that still hurt.

"Uggghhh, I could really go for a-.

Nala paused when she felt something strange in her mouth.

"What's this?"

She slowly chewed on it. It was soft and furry. It tasted nice.

"Mmmmm, this is nice."

For some reason when she chewed on it, it helped relieve the pain.

 _Nom nom nom nom nom,_ Nala was happily thinking as she continued to chew.

"S-STOP IT!" Suddenly Violet's voice brought her back to reality.

"Huh?" She opened her eyes as she was looking down at Violet's face.

Only to reveal that the thing she had been nomming on so happily was actually one of Violet's cute bunny ears.

"O-OH!" Nala spit it out as Violet got on her feet and was holding her one ear.

"I'm so sorr-!"

Suddenly she saw handcuffs around her wrists.

"What the-?" She was cut off by Violet blowing a whistle.

"You're under arrest for assaulting an officer!" Violet said as she held her ear.

"It was an accident!"

"It still hurt!"

"Y-You're not even a real officer!"

"Do you _see_ this badge?!"

"It's a hall monitor badge!"

"It's a position of authority! And you messed with the authority! Which is me! To the jail cell with you!"

Next thing Nala knew, she was being taken off to a "jail cell".

…Well, since _this_ was apparently happening-.

"I DEMAND MY ONE PHONE CALL!"

"CELL FIRST! THEN A PHONE CALL!"

Phooey.

* * *

 _(Present)_

After receiving the strange phone call, Jem immediately bolted out of the infirmary. Winter OOP chased out after him, shouting about how he didn't even know where he was going. Colt had followed along, mentally asking what deity he pissed off to have to deal with these people.

Along the way, they ran into Winter MT, who had asked what could possibly be happening now.

Colt whispered it into her ear…and the next thing they knew, Winter MT was along for the ride, if only to be amused by Jem and Winter OOP's reactions.

When all four finally found Nala and Violet, Jem and Winter OOP weren't sure what to make of what they were seeing.

What were they seeing, you ask? Well, it was a large cardboard box that had been repurposed into a jail cell. It even had "JAIL" written bold in crayon. Different colors for each letter.

Violet was standing in front of it, tapping her baton against her palm.

Nala was currently in the "jail cell", a pout on her face as she peared through the "bars".

The four adults just stared.

…

…

"Jem? Winter?" Colt asked.

"Yes?" they both asked.

"You know when I said I'd be angry at you two for a while?"

"Yes?"

"…" Colt pat both their shoulders. "I take that back. I'm no longer angry. All is forgiven. All is right in the world."

They both deadpanned at Colt.

Winter MT smirked. "You're only saying that because your daughter arrested their daughter, aren't you?"

"Yes," Colt shamelessly replied.

Jem and Winter OOP deadpanned even more, with Winter MT shaking her head in amusement.

"Hi Daddy!" Violet waved.

"Daddy, help!" Nala begged. "I don't wanna be in the slammer!"

She even began sliding a cup across the "bars".

Jem and Winter OOP weren't sure how to feel. On the one hand, their daughter was in jail. On the other hand, it wasn't _actually_ jail. Still, Nala ending up in "jail" probably didn't paint a good picture for her future.

Then again, surely this was a misunderstanding, right?"

"Um," Jem began, scratching his beard. "Why is Nala in jail?"

"She assaulted an officer of the law!" Violet answered.

"It was an accident!" Nala argued. "We fell down some stairs and-."

"WHAT?!"

Next thing that happened, Nala (the "jail" cell having been flipped over) and Violet were picked up by their respective fathers.

"Are you alright?" Jem exclaimed, inspecting her everywhere for bruises.

"Is anything broken?!" Colt exclaimed. "No fractures?! No bruises?! Are your ears okay?!"

"We're fine!" both Nala and Violet answered.

Both fathers sighed in relief. "Oh thank god."

Both set their daughters down back to how they were before….

Which had Colt laughing like a madman.

"D-Did you just p-put your daughter b-back in jail?" Colt stuttered through laughs.

Nala had a betrayed look on her face.

"I-I didn't mean too! It just happened!" Jem exclaimed.

Colt continued laughing like a madman.

Winter OOP cleared her throat in an attempt to get things back on track.

"Can you please clarify what you mean when you say Nala 'assaulted an officer'?"

"She nommed on my ear!" Violet exclaimed, pointing at her left bunny ear.

That caused both Winters to blink in confusion.

As for Colt and Jem….

"That is just adorable," they both said as they imagined it.

"Daddy!" Violet and Nala exclaimed, the latter blushing for some reason. This did not go unnoticed by Winter OOP, as she kept a mental note of it for later.

Violet turned to Jem. "Now, are you here to pick Nala up?"

Jem blinked. "Um…yes?"

Violet nodded, then handed him a piece of paper.

"Fill out that form, please."

Now both Jem and Winter OOP blinked and stared at the form.

It was a silly form to look at since it was a sheet of scratch paper, and everything on it was written in crayon. But it asked for little yet basic information: the name of the one in "jail", the name(s) of the one(s) bailing the person out, the date of birth for bailer(s) and bailee, what Kingdom they were born in, and a line at the bottom to indicate where the bailers should put their signature.

Jem and Winter OOP just stared at it, then turned to stare at Violet.

"Fill it out, please."

They turned to Colt, who raised his hands.

"Don't look at me. This is Violet's jurisdiction."

Winter MT stifled a giggle at that.

With a sigh, Jem filled out the form and signed at the bottom, Winter OOP signing right after.

They handed it to Violet, who looked it over and nodded.

"Alright," she said, putting the form away. "Now for the bail payment."

Jem and Winter Oop gawked. " _Payment_?"

Violet nodded, handing them a yellow slip. "Here you go."

They looked at it…and were completely floored at what was asked of them.

 **BAIL: 25 CARROTS**

…

…

It wasn't _actual_ money being asked for, at least. But still-.

"Um," Jem said. "We don't have any carrots right now."

Violet frowned. "I see…then Nala can't leave yet."

"W-What?!" Nala exclaimed.

Colt went back to laughing his ass off.

Winter OOP glared at him, then turned to Violet.

"Look, I'm sure what happened was an accident. Right, Nala?"

Nala nodded rapidly.

"See? Therefore, surely you can let her off with a warning?"

"I gave some students detention for running in the halls with no first warning. There will be no warning, now."

Winter OOP turned to Winter MT. "Can't you say something? Surely this is an abuse of power? It was an accident, after all!"

Winter MT pursed her lips. "…Perhaps, but I shall see where this goes."

Winter OOP glowered at her, then turned to a laughing Colt.

"Mr. Remington," she began in a tone.

Colt stopped laughing.

"Now," she continued. "Surely you can say something? You're her father, after all."

Before he could respond, she added, "And don't say the same excuse about jurisdiction. As a father, you must draw the line somewhere."

…

…

Colt scratched his cheek. "I mean…it _was_ Nala's fault for-."

"It was an accident!"

Colt winced…then sighed.

"Fine."

He stepped forward and got on one knee to speak to Violet.

"Violet, sweetie? Maybe you can just let her off with a warning?"

"She nommed my ear! Look at it!"

Now that Colt looked at it…there _were_ a few bit marks here and there.

"…Okay, it's a bit much, but it was an accident. Surely you realize that?"

Violet rubbed her ear. "U-Um…well-."

"And besides, she's your first friend that happens to be near your age. You really wanna start a friendship by putting her in jail?"

…

…

Violet got teary eyed.

"Hey, hey, come on," Colt said calmly. "None of that. It's fine."

Violet rubbed her eyes.

"Now…let her out?"

…Violet moved to the box and flipped it over.

"Freedom!" Nala cheered.

Violet rubbed her ear. "U-Um…sorry about that. I-I guess I got carried away."

Nala stared at her…then beamed.

"It's okay!"

Violet looked hopeful. "R-Really?"

"Sure! Besides, you're my Pikachu, remember?"

Nala picked up Violet in a hug, rubbing her cheek against hers.

Violet beamed, happy all was forgiven.

Colt, Jem and Winter MT smiled at the scene.

Winter OOP did as well, but also had a sneaking suspicion about Nala and Violet. She'd address it with Jem later.

"Okay!" Jem said. "Now that we got that taken care of-."

Jem froze as he noticed something was amiss.

Colt and Winter MT didn't know why he froze. In fact, he looked almost terrified. What the hell was up with him? And why was Winter OOP just sighing as if she knew the reason why this was happening?

"…Nala." Jem seemed to take on a very soft tone almost as if he was trying to be sensitive and serious at the same time.

"Where is your gun?" He asked as he noticed that her bandolier belt and sidearm was gone.

"Hm? Oh I gave it to Violet!" She said as she put Violet down.

"…You mean she took it from you forcibly right?"

Okay what was with Jem?

"No, she asked me to give it to her since I wasn't allowed to have it!" Nala said cheerfully as Jem felt a growing weight of sadness.

"…You mean, she asked you after she had restrained you and had no other options, right?" Jem was really hoping Nala didn't do what he thought she did.

"...No, Daddy. She asked me nicely, and I _gave_ it to her."

And with that, Jem just looked down. If one had a good imagination, you could almost see a raincloud above his head.

"…You'll have to excuse him, he takes his patriotism and his 2nd amendment right very, _very_ seriously." His fiancé said as even she was shocked at the amount of love he had for those two.

"I…I need…I need a drink. Two drinks. In fact…make it six." Jem was mumbling to himself as he started to walk around looking down at the ground like someone shot his puppy.

"He'll get over it, just whatever you do, don't mention California." Winter warned as that would not help the current situation.

"What's wrong with California?" Colt asked.

Goddamn it.

"WHO JUST SAID COMMIEFORNIA!" Jem got his rifle out as he was prepared to do battle with the brainless zombies that were holed up in San Francisco.

"…You just had to say it," Winter facepalmed as she was really hoping to avoid one of Jem's rants.

"I'll tell you something about Commiefornia!" Jem took a deep breath in as he got ready to go in a spiel.

"Jem!" Winter knocked him out of his justified rant.

"What?" He asked wondering what Winter wanted.

"…You won our competition back at the shooting range."

Winter knew she was going to regret this.

Suddenly Jem was back to normal as he holstered his weapon.

"Oh? Did, did I hear that right?" Suddenly Jem got a smirk on his face.

"Yes...you won. Even...even with…o-okay, you didn't cheat. You won f-fair and s=square." Winter looked like she was _hating_ this.

"Ahhhh." Suddenly Jem looked relaxed.

"What do you mean competition?" Winter MT asked as she had no idea what was going on.

"Well, back in his world, we had a competition at the shooting range. If he won, I had to act like a normal person instead of my usual dignified self."

Winter MT nodded in understanding.

"And if I won, he had to act like a gentleman."

Now that Winter MT couldn't understand. She saw that guy down moonshine like it was water. How the hell do you turn _that_ into a gentleman?

"Before you ask, as I said earlier, he can be quite charming. You would be surprised, really. The point is we had three weapons each, and we had to score as many points as possible. I was in the lead, but he mentioned that he had only used two out of the three weapons as was agreed upon, so I told him that on matter what weapon he used, he wouldn't win."

Winter MT was starting to get confused, how did Jem win?

"So how did he win?" There was no way he could come back from that.

"He brought out a Howitzer."

…

…

"W-What?!" Winter MT exclaimed.

This man owned a _Howitzer_?!

Jem smiled in nostalgia. "Ah, yes. It was fun firing that cannon."

Winter MT turned to Colt. "C-Can you believe this?"

"…Yes, actually. I'm not even surprised."

A drunken redneck, specifically Jem, with a cannon. Not really that hard to imagine if you thought about it. Plus, with everything that's happened, Colt would believe anything at this point.

Winter MT turned back to the other two. "Well, I certainly say that's cheating."

Jem rolled his eyes. Here we go.

"Thank you," Winter OOP smiled. "I'm glad _someone_ agrees."

She turned to Colt. "And you?"

"…Honestly? You kinda brought it upon yourself."

Both Winters gawked. "W-What?!"

"Hey, you should've been more specific on the types of guns! Instead, you just accepted without reading the fine print. Don't you know that's how people get screwed over?"

Both Winters glared at him, while Jem grinned and raised a hand towards Colt.

"Up top!"

Colt stared…then shrugged and high-fived Jem.

Both Winters rolled their eyes. "Boys will be boys."

"Hey!" they both shouted. "We're _men_."

"Sometimes we wonder."

Jem and Colt grumbled at that.

Colt checked his scroll. "Well, the day went by pretty fast. Think it's about time I take you three to where you'll be staying."

Jem, Winter OOP and Nala slumped a bit. They had forgotten their earlier exhaustion, and both the fight _and_ this recent nonsense had further exhausted them.

Colt smiled a bit at their slumped forms. "Yeah, you all must be exhausted. Just follow me."

Winter MT spoke up. "Speaking of which, Colt, you may take the rest of the day off."

She turned her gaze to Violet. "You as well, if you wish."

"Really?" they both asked. One in confusion, the other excitement.

Winter MT nodded.

Violet beamed. "Yay! Nala and I can play together now!"

Nala suddenly wasn't tired anymore. "Yay!"

Both girls ran off…again.

Colt shook his head. "Kids these days."

He turned to Jem and Winter. "Don't worry. Your room is next to mine. And since Violet knows where mine is, she can bring Nala to yours."

He started walking the opposite where Violet and Nala ran off. "This way, please."

Jem and Winter OOP stared at where Nala ran off to with Violet, then moved to follow Colt.

Winter MT bid them farewell and moved to another area.

At last, there was a measure of peace after this hectic mess of a day….

Right?

* * *

 _(White Fang Base)_

Within a tent, a Lizard Faunus that looked more animal than human (think of The Lizard from The Amazing Spider Man) sat near a desk littered with papers.

Reptile Azul rubbed his eyes with a sigh.

In reality, it had been a shitty week for him. They had problems with the new recruits. All who were recruited were essentially civilians. Ergo, no combat experience whatsoever. Not to mention some were arrogant to a fault, but Reptile took pleasure in stomping that arrogance out. Still, it was a bit of an annoyance to deal with recruits, especially those who never threw a punch in their life. Much less swing a sword or fire a gun.

Being the White Fang Lieutenant of the Vale Branch had downs as much as ups.

"Reptile."

A messenger stepped into his tent.

"What is it? I'm busy." He really didn't like being interrupted.

"I'm supposed to tell you that you're getting a new ward."

"I don't want him," Reptile immediately responded.

"It's a her, actually."

"I don't want _her_ , then."

Reptile couldn't believe this. He wasn't a babysitter, he wasn't going to be stuck nursing some whiny recruit who didn't understand that life was cruel.

"Adam… _insists_ that you take this one." The lieutenant stressed the word 'insist'

"Why the hell would Adam want me to take this one recruit?"

"Well, she turned out to be…well…I think he's hoping you'll kill her."

Okay, now that got Reptile's attention.

"Why would he hope that?" Adam was never one to turn down a Faunus who would willingly fight for the Fang.

"In his own words, she made him 'feel ashamed to be a bull Faunus.'"

Now _that_ got Reptile's attention.

He still didn't like the idea of babysitting someone, but a woman who could make the _proud_ and _powerful_ Adam Taurus ashamed of being a Faunus? How bad could she be?

The messenger placed a file on Reptile's desk. "That's her file, if you want to look at it later."

Reptile made a mental note to do that soon.

"Enter," the messenger ordered to someone outside as he ran off as quickly as he could.

Even he didn't want to be around this mixed bag of nuts.

The woman entered, her face covered by a mask. Standard white fang gear. Except she was wearing striped camouflage. Around her waist was a row of small throwing knives, as well as one combat knife holstered at her side, and what appeared to be a rifle slung over her back.

She was fairly pale and slim, but with a few piercings in her ears…well her human ears at least. Her hair was pulled back and looked like it was dyed red. As though it had bathed in blood. Her tiger ears were out and proud, apparently spared of whatever she did to her hair. Completely free of any confinement, though they looked like someone pet them too much. Almost as though for their own sick pleasure. Whatever the case, she was a tiger Faunus.

But why did Adam send her here? She seemed like a regular recruit. Obviously she wasn't, if her sharpened nails were anything to go by. You could only have one Faunus trait. And she had the ears, so she must have sharpened the nails herself.

Reptile couldn't help but imagine this woman clawing at a human's face….

If she actually did something like that, then maybe she wouldn't be so bad.

He would remain wary, however, since perhaps Adam may actually want Reptile to kill this woman for whatever reason….

And because this female Faunus had a sick grin on her face.

This woman was off. That much he could tell.

"Hello, Mr. Azul," she purred.

Reptile narrowed his eyes.

That _almost_ sent a chill down his spine…almost.

He would have to watch this woman very carefully.

Reptile folded his hands and leaned forward. "Come here, then."

The tiger Faunus _stalked_ towards Reptile, almost as though she were a predator. And he were the prey.

When the time presented itself, Reptile would make sure she knew just _who_ the predator was of the two and _who_ was prey.

The woman stopped before his table, leaned on it, and gave Reptile a sickening grin that bordered on sadistic.

"So…looks like you and I will be working together, Scaly."

Reptile's eyes dilated into slits. "My name is _Reptile Azul_. You would do well to remember that, _recruit_."

She simply giggled. "Whatever you say, Scaly."

Perhaps he _would_ kill this woman like Adam apparently wants.

Reptile took a deep breath through his nostrils and let it out his mouth, flicking his tongue out.

"That tongue and skin is a major turnoff, you know?"

He ignored her. "So…what is _your_ name?"

The woman's sadistic grin went open-mouthed, revealing that some of her teeth were sharpened to resemble the teeth of a tiger, or as close as she could get. She removed her eye mask to reveal hazel eyes that were the same shade of color as those of a tiger.

This woman truly wants to be a tiger, it seems.

"My name…is Tigerstripe. And I certainly hope working with you is fun."

Her grin widened. "Scaly."

Reptile's nostrils flared as his eyes dilated into slits again.

No one but fate knew what would result from this abnormal and forced team-up.

* * *

 **MAO: …Oh…that's…that's not good. That's not good, right? JC, that's not good, right?**

 **JC: No…no that's not good…although to be honest, calling Reptile a Scaly makes it better, hell I didn't even know that Scalies were an actual thing opposite of the furry fandom.**

 **MAO: Yeah…oh well, I'm sure our heroes will be able to handle them when the time comes…hopefully. Anyway, Violet and Nala are just adorable, aren't they?**

 **JC: Oh yes they are, the ear nomming was a nice touch. So cute!**

 **MAO: Yeah, such a cute friendship...and that's it. Right?**

 ***winks***

 **JC; Yep, thats all it is, yep, thats it. Of course…of course…**

 ***Looks at the camera***

 **MAO: …Right, then! You all know the drill. If you liked this and want to be kept up to date, be sure to follow and fav. Leave a review while you're at it! We'd love to hear from you guys.**

 **JC: And remember, this story is non-canon, but it's still one** _ **hell**_ **of a time.**

 **MAO: See you all in the next update.**

 **MAO & JC: LATERS!**


	10. Playtime and Talking

**MAO: *crying tears of joy***

 **JC: MAO...why are you crying?**

 **MAO: My darling little bunny! She's finally come to life! *sniffling***

 **JC: Okay dude, I get it, you're really happy and-**

 ***Sees the photo of Violet***

 **JC: ...Excuse me for a second...**

 **MAO: *sniffle* S-She was done by this artist on RWBY Amino named ~Amelia~(Somi) and- where are you going?**

 **JC: No where...just...need to do...some manly stuff...**

 **MAO: Ah...I see. Well, while we're getting our shit together after this epic reveal, please enjoy the chapter!**

 **JC: Yeah, enjoy it! Thats all, now if you'll excuse me...**

 ***Goes outside so no one can see him 'Dawwww' over the picture***

* * *

Violet and Nala were currently running down the halls of Beacon at full speed. Reason being? Kids got excited when they made new friends.

They passed by a random class that was just ending, where Ruby took a slight step out, only to see two blurs pass by her.

"Wow…" She said to herself.

"What?" Yang asked from inside.

"I just saw two small blurs."

Weiss passed her with a huff. "I'm sure you're just imagining it."

"…Maybe."

Back to Nala and Violet. The two were now sitting outside on the statue looking at it. They weren't stopping because they wanted to learn the history behind it, though. They stopped for a very important reason. That reason being-.

"So uh….what do we play?" Nala asked as Violet scratched the back of her head.

"I don't know. I mean, there's not really a lot of other kids around here."

Both little girls were confused. Did they seriously not know how to play with each other?

"Didn't you spend time with other kids on your planet?" Violet felt like a weirdo asking that.

"Nope, I usually spent time with my Mommy and Daddy."

"Preaching to the choir there," Violet sighed, then angrily pouted. "Except for the Mommy bit."

They sat in silence for a bit.

…

…

"How about we play hide and seek?" Violet suggested

Nala nodded rapidly…then was confused.

"Wait, how do we decide who hides and who seeks?"

"Um…rock paper scissors?"

Nala nodded again. "I can do that."

Nala and Violet got into position.

"Rock..."

"Paper..."

"SCISSORS!"

Both shot their hands out….

And both winced at the fact that they both chose Rock.

"Okay, again." Violet said as they got ready again.

"Rock, paper, scissors!"

Again, they each threw a Rock.

"Come on!" Nala groaned. "You can't keep picking rock!"

Violet glared. "Hey! You're doing the same thing!"

"Okay, okay…let's try this again."

"Rock, paper, scissors!"

Both girls changed their hands this time.

"OH COME ON!"

But again, both had chosen the same thing, except this time it was Scissors.

Nala pouted. "We suck at this game."

Violet and Nala slumped and felt a little down at that. So down, that they didn't notice the large shadow that loomed over them….

"What in blazes are you two doing?"

"EEP!"

Nala jumped into Violet's arms at being snuck up on.

"Hey!" Violet didn't know why Nala got so spooked.

"Don't sneak up on me like that!" Nala exclaimed to a rather large figure.

The figure was an elderly man in a hood. His outfit reminded Nala of Green Arrow, a hero she heard of from Earth. On his back was a bow and quiver of arrows. She wondered if they had different tricks like Green Arrow's did.

"Hi Grandpa!" Violet cheered.

Nala blinked. This was Violet's grandpa?

"Hello, sweetie," the man smiled, then turned to Nala with a frown. "And who's this?"

Violet beamed. "This is Nala! Say hi, Nala!"

Nala hesitantly got out from Violet's arms and slowly waved.

"H-Hello."

"Don't be shy! Grandpa's a nice man once you get past his grouchiness and get to know him."

The man deadpanned. "I'm grouchy, am I?"

"Mmhmm."

"…You're lucky you're adorable."

Violet giggled.

The man rolled his eyes and held out his hand to Nala. "The name's Vert Bowman. Pleasure to meet you, Nala."

Seeing that he was good-natured, Nala got over her nervousness and shook Vert's hand with a beaming smile.

Vert raised an eyebrow. "If you don't mind me asking, what exactly are you doing here? Last I checked, there was only _one_ child at Beacon."

That brat Colt didn't adopt another kid, did he?

…Nah, that kid had enough problems to worry about. He may have loved his daughter but…considering how stressed he was getting over Violet constantly nagging him about "finding a special someone" (which was code for getting Violet a mommy), he was certain he wouldn't adopt another kid who had the just as much energy, if not more so, than Violet.

"This is Nala! She's from another world!"

…

…

"Ah," Vert said. "This is one of those games you kids play, isn't it? The land of make believe?"

"How do you know about Mr. Rogers?" Nala asked.

"Who?"

"You know, the grown man who enters the land of make believe and teaches kids life lessons?"

"…Sounds like someone I wouldn't let near _any_ brats, if you ask me."

Vert couldn't believe kids these days. Making up stuff with their ridiculous imaginations. Who knows what they would think of next?

Violet was the exception, though. Anything she imagined was sweet and innocent.

"No...she is _literally_ from another world."

Violet emphasized the "literally" part, forgetting that Vert was still thinking this was a game.

"Uh huh, suuuurrrreeeee she is."

Vert rolled his eyes at them. What a strange game. Back in his day, all they had were sticks and tires….

Fun times, back then.

"Hey! Don't talk to my Pikachu like that!" Nala shouted as she picked Violet up again and rubbed their cheeks together.

"Urk! Nala! Can't! Breath!"

Violet was struggling to breathe as Nala had a very...VERY strong grip for her age.

"Whoops, sorry!" Nala chuckled sheepishly as she let go of Violet.

Violet caught her breath.

"Geez, you sure have a strong grip." Violet felt like she was being strangled by a boa constrictor

Vert just stared at the two.

A Pikachu? That was a new one.

What was it? Some type of Grimm? No, that's stupid. Why call someone a Grimm? And that name's too stupid to be a Grimm.

A pet? Maybe, but not one he's ever heard of.

Perhaps something fictional again? That was probably it. Something they made up or heard of on TV. Probably the latter. TV these days was stupid, anyway. And the name sounded stupid, so it fit.

And more importantly…who _was_ this girl? He had never seen her before, and there was no way she was related to anyone else here. Vert would know. He's had to deal with so many bratty students, and none of them resembled the little lion girl before him. Plus, there were no Lion Faunus in the school, surprisingly.

And how did Nala meet Violet? And why was Vert only finding out about it now? And then, there was Nala's behavior.

The way she seemed to stick close to Violet...it was almost familiar. He had been around a lot of Faunus in his lifetime. And he was experienced enough to know the signs. For example, the way Nala seemed to be acting around Violet seemed similar to two people he had seen a long time ago. But then again, that couple were _much_ older than the two little girls in front of him.

And besides, he was probably just paranoid because of his 'grandfather' instincts. No matter how similar it looked to what he had seen before, there's no way that _that_ could've happened. Right?

Right?

…Right.

"So where did she really come from?" Vert felt the need to be the suspicious grandfather.

"We just told you," Violet pouted. She didn't know how to actually break this to her grandfather figure.

Not that she'd get the chance, since Vert decided he didn't want to play this "game" right now.

"Never mind. I'm gonna go talk to Ozpin."

Maybe _he'll_ know who this child is. Nothing gets by Ozpin, after all.

Vert pat Violet's head and moved off.

"…He looks like a cross between Green Arrow and that drill sergeant my daddy had," Nala said as she could have sworn he looked like Drill Sergeant Screws.

"Eh, you're probably just imaging things."

…

…

"Wait, what were we doing again?"

Violet suddenly forgot the reason they were here.

"We were deciding who was going to hide and seek."

Nala suddenly perked up.

"Hey, I got an idea!"

Suddenly she tapped Violet's forehead.

"Tag! You're it!" she shouted as she started running.

"HEY! NO FAIR!" Violet took off after her.

Nala started laughing. In reality, she didn't have a lot of people her own age to play with. And when she did come across other kids her age, they were not the kind of people she wanted to hang around.

In all honesty, Nala was never one of those kids who threw a tantrum to get their way. Mostly because when your parents die, you learn that sometimes life is going to dish out something horrible.

She was lucky to get a second chance with her new family. But in all honesty, this was the first time she could actually feel like a little kid with someone else her age.

It was refreshing.

"YOU CHEATED!" Violet shouted and pouted as Nala ran up some stairs.

"It's not cheating! It's strategy!" she shouted back as she saw that Violet seemed to be hopping up the stairs after her.

...That is so freaking cute.

"Call it what you want! I thought we were playing hide and seek!"

Violet was faking anger, but in all honesty, she was having fun.

Nala smirked as she sped up the pace. In all honesty, she had no idea where she was going. But that's what made it fun. Plus Violet seemed to be enjoying herself.

"Nyah nyah nyah nyah! You can't catch me!" Nala taunted playfully as she turned a corner.

"Oh I will! And you will be sorry!" Violet laughed as she ran onto a wall and did a hop off of it.

Nala may have been fast, but Violet was more acrobatic.

Suddenly Nala turned around the corner and Violet smirked as she knew that was a dead end.

"Annnndd, I GOT YOU!" She yelled as she turned around the corner….

Only to find that Nala wasn't there.

"Huh?"

Okay, where did she go?

"Nala?"

…

"BOO!" Nala shouted as she came out from behind a pillar annndd…

Started tickling Violet.

"BWA HA HA HA HA! STOP!" Violet started laughing as her bunny ears shot up in surprise.

She hated being ticklish.

"TICKLE TICKLE TICKLE!" Nala shouted happily as she got Violet's side.

"BWA HA! NO FAIR! NO FAIR!" Violet knew she needed to get out of this.

So she tackled Nala.

"Ha! Gotcha!" Suddenly she felt herself being lifted.

And next thing she knew she was on the ground.

"Ha! Pinned you!" Nala smirked just like the Disney character she was named after had.

"Phooey..."

Violet suddenly realized something.

"Nala..." She smirked as Nala forgot one thing.

"What?" Nala smirked in victory.

"We're still playing Tag."

And Nala's smirk disappeared.

"TAG!" Violet yelled as she slipped out from underneath Nala and ran away.

"HEY!" Nala started the pursuit.

And the chase was on again. This time they zipped right past Nora Valkyrie.

"What the?" Nora said as she narrowly avoided Violet.

"Sorry Auntie!" Nala suddenly yelled out as she turned to see said lion girl running towards her.

"Auntie?" What?!

"Look out!" Nala suddenly dropped to her knees...

And did a power slide right through Nora's legs.

"I'll get you Hoppity Hop!" Nala gave Violet a new nickname.

"Hey! Don't call me Hoppity Hop, Kitty Kat!"

"Hey! I'm a ferocious lion!" Nala said as she pointed to her lion tail while running.

"More like a lion cub." Violet taunted as she sped up.

"My daddy says I'll be a mighty hunter one day!"

"Mmhmm, _sure_ you will!"

As both little girls disappeared around a corner, Nora stood frozen on the spot, her eyes wide in shock.

"Ah, there you are, Nora," Ren said as he caught up and noticed Nora's frozen expression. "Is something wrong?"

"…Renny…a little lion girl just ran by with Violet and called me Auntie…."

Ren blinked. "…Okay?"

…

…

Nora grabbed Ren and shook him by his shoulders.

"I'M AN AUNTIE! WHICH MAKES YOU AN UNCLE!"

"N-Nora, I-I'm s-sure i-it's j-just a-a m-misunderstanding."

Ren was being shook pretty hard.

"NO MATTER!" Nora shouted valiantly. "That little lion girl will be our niece! I, THE QUEEN, DECLARE IT SO!"

Ren knew he shouldn't have fed Nora pancakes with double syrup for lunch.

Meanwhile, Nala was still chasing her cute bunny friend Violet around in their game of tag.

Nala was catching up….

And then she grabbed Violet by the waist.

"Ha!" she exclaimed as they rolled around on the ground.

Nala pinning her again.

"Ha! Pinned you again!" Nala smirked as Violet pouted.

"Phooey." Violet was about to escape again when she noticed something.

"H-Ha...got you...again…."

Nala suddenly seemed drowsy.

"Uh, are you okay?" Violet asked. Nala didn't look so good.

"Suddenly…so…tir-."

And then she saw Nala's face getting closer.

"W-What are you-?" Her voice was cut off as something unexpected happened.

 **CLUNK!**

Nala's head went right past hers as she hit the pavement.

"Zzzzzzzzzz."

She was asleep.

"Nala?" Violet poked her face.

"Mmmmm…steak," Nala smiled in her sleep as she hugged Violet.

"…Well, she _was_ awfully tired earlier," Violet said as she pushed her new friend off of her. She checked Nala's face a bit….

"She's kinda pretty now that I think about it."

Violet blinked.

Wait, what? Where did _that_ come from?

Violet shook her head. It was probably nothing.

"Well, I should take her back to her parents."

Violet decided to pick up her friend for a piggy back ride….

And that was her first mistake.

"Nom!"

"O-Ow! Hey!"

* * *

 _(With Colt, Jem, and Winter OOP)_

The three adults were currently making their way up the dormitory building to the floor that Colt stayed in, and where Jem and his family would be staying for the foreseeable future.

While they were walking, Colt was talking to Jem about the two years that the bearded man experienced and that Colt had not. Colt really did miss Earth, and hearing about any developments that occurred after his death was a must.

One bit, though…had Colt in disbelief.

"Let me get this straight," Colt began. "The 45th president of the United States…is _Donald Trump_?"

"Yup," Jem responded.

"The guy from Celebrity Apprentice?"

"Uh-huh."

"The real-estate businessman who, if I remember correctly, has _no_ political experience whatsoever?"

"Pretty much."

"The guy _infamously_ known for firing people?"

"Mmhmm."

Colt just stared at Jem….

Colt placed his hands on Jem's shoulders to hold him still and look him dead in the eye with the most serious look he's ever made.

"I'm going to ask you something, and I need you to answer me honestly."

Jem blinked. "Huh?"

"Just answer me honestly. It's about Trump, and I _need_ you to be completely 100% honest with me."

Jem seemed wary all of a sudden. "O-Okay?"

Winter OOP couldn't help but raise an eyebrow. She had heard people were _extremely_ divided about that man running the country. What could Colt ask that was so serious? Perhaps he too was unsure about what to make of the man? Did he hate the man? Did he actually support him? Was he neutral? Was he of the "Left" or "Right"? Did he believe the man when he said that the mainstream media was "fake news"? Did he not believe it? What was this important question he was to ask?

Only way to know is to wait and see.

…

…

…

…

…

" _Please_ …tell me he fired someone when he got into the White House?"

Winter OOP facepalmed. Never mind. He asked a stupid question.

Jem looked confused. "Huh?"

"Seriously," Colt continued with a bit of a laugh. "I always thought that if Trump ever became President and went to the White House, that's the _first_ thing he'd do. Kinda like this-."

* * *

 _(Scenario Beginning)_

 _WH Greeter: Welcome to the White House, Mr. Trump._

 _Trump: Thank you. As my first official act as President, you're fired._

 _WH Greeter: Wait, wha-?!_

 _Trump: Get out of my White House._

 _(Scenario End)_

* * *

"That would've been comedy _gold_!"

Jem and Winter OOP just gave Colt flat stares.

"I mean, obviously it wouldn't have been funny for the person fired, and I don't actually wish it happened, but it would've made headlines for sure and made at least _some_ people laugh."

Jem ran a hand down his face. "No…that didn't happen."

"Well, shit," Colt sighed. "Would've been hilarious. Again, not for the person fired, but still."

He looked up. "But still… _President_ Trump. Never thought it would actually happen."

Jem shrugged. "It's better than Hillary Clinton, anyway."

"Not sure about that. I mean, after hearing nothing but bad things about either person, I kinda just assumed America would be screwed either way."

Jem narrowed his eyes. "You dare doubt our great country?"

"Watch what you say next, Mr. Remington."

Colt deadpanned at Winter OOP before turning back to Jem.

"I don't. I'm a patriot just as much as you."

Winter OOP stifled a giggle.

Colt raised an eyebrow at that, to which she provided an answer.

"I highly doubt you'd be as patriotic as my fiancé."

Colt suddenly remembered how Jem reacted when he found out Nala's gun had been taken away by Violet.

He sweatdropped. "Okay, yeah. Maybe not _that_ patriotic."

"How dare you?!" Jem exclaimed dramatically and patriotically. "You can't put a limit on patriotism!"

"I'm patriotic. I just don't express it as much."

"And that's because?"

"Never felt like it. Just preferred to get through life without trouble."

"…Very well, then."

Jem raised a finger towards Colt. "I swear on my love for America…THAT YOU WILL BE AS PATRIOTIC AS ME BEFORE MY FAMILY AND I RETURN HOME!"

…

…

Colt turned to Winter OOP. "He's not serious, is he?"

She smirked. "I'm afraid so."

Colt rubbed his eyes. "Yup, totally called it. You're gonna be a pain in my ass."

"A _patriotic_ pain in your ass!"

Colt groaned into his palm, which amused Winter OOP a bit.

"I, you, she, we…never mind."

He removed his hand an raised an eyebrow. "Besides...America's still there last time you checked, right?"

"Yeah," Jem answered.

"...Well, guess Trump must not be doing _that_ bad, then."

Winter OOP deadpanned. "You're judging based on America just 'still being around'?"

"Yeah, pretty much. I tended to stay away from politics and just watered it down to 'if America isn't a wasteland by now, then someone must be doing something right'."

He waved his hand. "But enough about all that crap. I actually wanna ask about something else."

Jem and Winter OOP turned to him. "Yes?"

"…What…the… _fuck_?!"

Both blinked. "Excuse me?"

"Who the _fuck_ lets their five-year-old-?!"

"Six."

" _Six_ -year-old child…have a fucking _gun_?!"

Winter OOP gave a flat stare to Jem. "That's exactly how I reacted."

Jem scratched his beard. "I mean, I taught her how to properly use it and all."

Colt deadpanned. "Are you Big Daddy from the movie Kick-Ass?"

"Well no, but-."

"THEN YOU DON'T GIVE YOUR CHILD A GUN! That is _literally_ Parenting 101! Keep your children away from dangerous objects! I'm pretty sure a _gun_ falls under that category!"

Jem rolled his eyes. "I've already heard this from Winter. Several times, actually. I don't need to hear it again."

"And are you really one to talk, Mr. Remington?"

Colt raised an eyebrow at Winter OOP. "I beg your pardon?"

She raised an eyebrow. "Well, correct me if I'm wrong, but a bludgeoning weapon counts as a dangerous object, does it not?"

"Yes."

"Ergo, it is something to be kept out of a child's hands, yes?"

"…What about it?"

She gave a small smirk. "Does a security baton not count as a bludgeoning weapon? And therefore, a dangerous object?"

"…Yes?"

"Well then…why does young Violet have one?"

…

…

Jem smirked at a silent Colt. "Yeah, dude. Why _does_ she have a bludgeoning weapon?"

Winter continued. "Also, a stun gun is still a gun. And yet your daughter has one as well."

Colt just stood still.

"So you scold my fiancé about allowing Nala to have a gun, when you yourself have allowed your own daughter to have a baton and Taser."

Winter's smirk widened. "Do explain that logic to us, please?"

Colt raised a finger and opened his mouth, but no words came out. He tried again, only to yield the same results.

…

…

"Okay," Colt finally said. "We're just gonna put a pin on this conversation and come back to it another time."

Jem and Winter OOP low-fived, much to Colt's annoyance.

Colt turned and moved towards a room, then pointed at it.

"This is where you and your family will be staying."

He then pointed to a room next to it.

"That room is mine. I or Neo will be there if you need anything."

Jem and Winter OOP stared at Colt.

"…What?"

Jem tilted his head. "You share a room with Neo?"

Colt blinked. "…Oh right. Yeah, that's a thing. She's part of the security force here-."

Winter OOP deadpanned. "You have a criminal on a security force here at Beacon? A criminal who could backstab you at any moment for the people she works for?"

"She's making strides, okay? She gave up the virus that would've been installed into the CCT. No taking control of robots or finding out secret information for Cinder."

Jem whistled. "Damn, really?"

"Yup," Colt grinned. "And with Neo on our side, Roman might be as well. So there's that."

Winter OOP hummed. "I see…that's rather impressive, actually."

Colt nodded. "Thanks."

"However."

Winter OOP narrowed her eyes at Colt. "Just how is it that you are sharing a room with Neopolitan?"

"Ozpin said she was my responsibility since it was my idea to bring her in in the first place."

"I see…."

"Something wrong?" Colt asked.

"Oh nothing," Winter OOP said rather nonchalantly. "It's just that it seems highly inappropriate for you two to be sharing living quarters."

Jem smirked. "Yeah…after all, who knows what activities you two could be doing in a room? Alone. With no one watching."

…

…

Colt grit his teeth as his cheeks burned red.

" _Nothing_ like that happens."

"And we're just supposed to take your word for it?" Winter OOP asked with a raised eyebrow.

"I'd appreciate it you did, yes."

Jem pat Colt's shoulder. "It's okay, Colt. We don't judge."

"I do."

"My fiancé does. I don't."

"NOTHING HAPPENS, GODDAMN IT!"

Colt breathes heavily as Jem and Winter OOP stare in amusement.

He glared. "…A lot of people screw with me as is. Don't be added to it, please."

"No promises," Jem and Winter OOP said.

Colt facepalmed and quickly opened the door to the room.

"Just get in there."

"Whoa, there," Jem joked. "I'm engaged. And we don't do threesomes."

…

…

Colt grabbed Jem by his beard and pulled hard.

"AHH! I'M SORRY! I WON'T JOKE LIKE THAT AGAIN!"

"Good."

Colt tossed Jem inside with a surprising amount of strength.

Crash sounds echoed from inside.

"A pain in my ass."

"A _patriotic_ pain in your ass!"

"Do I need to kick your ass again?"

"You got lucky last time! There's no Qrow to nullify my luck this time!"

"Luck runs out."

"Mine doesn't!"

"Keep telling yourself that."

Winter OOP shook her head in amusement and moved into the room, Colt following after.

Jem stood next to his fiance and stroked his beard as they examined the room.

"…It'll do."

"Indeed."

Colt rolled his eyes. "Glad it's up to your _personal standards_."

Winter OOP was unamused at the use of a line she'd say, while Jem cackled.

"Well, unless there's something else, then-."

"Daddy."

The three adults turned…and found a truly adorable sight.

Violet was currently carrying a sleeping Nala on her back in piggyback style. What made it most adorable, however, was the fact that Nala was once again nomming on Violet's bunny ear.

"Nom, nom, nom, nom," she mumbled in her sleep as she continued nomming.

Violet gave a pleading look. "Please get her to stop."

…The three adults took out their scrolls and started recording.

"Hey!"

"What?" Colt asked. "I'm your father. I have to tease you about something at some point."

"Same here for our daughter," Jem and Winter OOP said in unison.

Violet gave a huff as the adults continued recording. She walked into the room and moved towards the bed.

"Seriously, get her off please? She's sleepy and needs an actual bed."

"Aw, how sweet!" Colt teased. "You care about your little lion friend!"

Violet gave an angry pout. How dare they not take this seriously? Nala needs rest! And to stop nomming on her bunny ear already!

"Daddy," Violet warned.

"Oh alright, fine. I got all the material I need. Jem?"

Jem stopped recording and moved to get Nala. He gently grabbed Nala and removed her from Violet's back.

"Ow!"

Only to realize that Nala was very reluctant to let go of Violet's bunny ear.

"Nom, nom, nom."

Violet pouted as her bunny ear was still in Nala's mouth.

"Well," Jem said. "Unless you want me to yank her off Violet's bunny ear-."

"NO!" Colt, Winter OOP, and Violet yelled, which somehow didn't wake Nala up.

"Then I don't think she's letting go anytime soon."

Violet slumped. Her poor bunny ear….

"Unless," Winter OOP wondered.

"Unless what?" Colt asked.

Winter OOP moved and whispered into Nala's ear.

"Sweetie, we've got steak."

Suddenly, Nala was awake.

"STEAK?!"

She let go of Violet's bunny ear, much to the latter's relief.

"Ah," Winter OOP smiled. "You're awake."

Nala blinked, then looked around.

"Where's the steak?"

Winter smile became apologetic. "Sorry, there isn't. It was all we could think of to get you to let go of Violet's ear."

Nala blinked…then blushed.

"I nommed her bunny ear again, didn't I?"

Violet gave an angry pout while rubbing said ear, which made Nala blush even more.

Jem pat Nala's head. "Don't worry. It happens."

Nala looked down. "S-Sorry, Violet."

Violet huffed. "It's okay. Just don't make a habit of it, please."

"No promises."

"Wait, wha-?"

"Well, now that that's settled," Colt interrupted. "We'll just let you three get some rest. Come on, Vi-."

"Wait."

Colt blinked and turned to Jem. "Yeah?"

"I never asked…how did _you_ get to Remnant?"

Winter OOP hummed. "I'm actually curious myself. You left that part out when we spoke before."

Colt scratched his head. "Um…it's a bit of a sore subject. And a little unbelievable."

"Oh," Jem said. "Well if it's a sore thing to talk about, you don't have to-."

"Actually, considering the craziness I've heard from _you_ all, maybe my…relatively normal tale could be a change of pace."

"STORY TIME!" Violet and Nala yelled as they sat on the floor next to each other. Violet already knew about Colt, but she wouldn't mind hearing it again.

Colt smiled a bit and chuckled.

"Well, alright then."

He held out his arms out dramatically. "A long time ago…in a galazy far, far awa-."

"Colt/Daddy," the four deadpanned, with Violet saying the "Daddy" part.

"Oh alright, fine."

He sighed and looked up.

"It all started…when I died."

* * *

 _(With Vert)_

Vert deadpanned at the sight before him.

 _And people tell me adults can't be brats._

The Headmaster of Beacon Academy, Ozpin, was currently having the life choked out of him by Qrow Branwen.

"YOU CHEATING SON OF A-!"

"IT WAS A LEGITIMATE STRATEGY! JUST LIKE CAMPING IN ONLINE GAMING!"

"YOU DON'T EVEN PLAY ONLINE!"

"OF COURSE I DO! WHO DO YOU THINK KEEPS KILLING AND TEABAGGING YOU?"

Qrow went wide-eyed…then saw only red.

"YOU MOTHERFU-!"

"So, how long has this been going on?" Vert asked as Qrow choked Ozpin even more.

"About five minutes," Glynda commented nonchalantly.

"…Why?"

"Ozpin cheated a recent bet from Qrow and others."

Ah. Brat stuff.

Vert shook his head. "Guess I can't ask about the little lion girl."

"Ah, you've met young Nala."

Vert blinked and turned to the disciplinarian. "You know about her?"

"Yes. Apparently she and her parents are from an alternate Remannt."

…

…

"Wait, that's _true_?" Vert asked incredulously.

"Considering there are now _two_ Winter Schnees in this academy, I'd say yes.

Huh…well, now Vert owed Violet an apology.

And he couldn't help but wonder about Colt's reaction to there now being _two_ Winters.

And he needed to know about the new "alien" arrivals….

"Where are they?" Vert asked.

"Mr. Remington escorted them to an available room next to his," Glynda replied.

Vert nodded, then took a last look at Qrow and Ozpin being brats, the former still choking the latter.

"…You're not gonna stop this?"

"Qrow won't actually kill him."

"You sure?"

"Yes…maybe…hopefully."

Vert rolled his eyes and launched two Boxing Glove arrows at the two brats.

Qrow and Ozpin were knocked out cold.

"Damn brats."

With a shake of his head, Vert left Glynda to deal with the unconscious adults (brats).

Time to meet the "aliens", apparently.

* * *

 **MAO: Okay...okay...I've stopped my tears...I'm calm now.**

 **JC: Yeah same here...**

 **MAO: Right, then. So...Nala and Violet were once again cute.**

 **JC: Yes they were, and Jem is now committed to turning Colt into a patriot. Think he'll be able to do it?**

 **MAO: Into a patriot like Jem? Oh hell, no. But he'll certainly try.**

 **JC: It's funny to imagine, imagine Colt drinking moonshine while blaring out 'God bless the usa' while firing a rifle from a truck.**

 **MAO: I'm imagining it...it DEFINITELY won't happen...I hope. Jem is enough. We don't need two.**

 **JC: Yep...oh but the thought is funny. I can only imagine how Jem will react to Vert, after all, he does look like his old drill sergeant.**

 **MAO: Yeah. Who would've thought it?**

 **...**

 **...**

 **MAO: Oh well. You all know the drill. If you liked this, be sure to follow and fav. Leave a review while you're at it! We'd love to hear from you guys.**

 **JC: Yep. And like always, you stay free, America!**

 **...**

 **...**

 **JC: Also to a combat veteran on YouTube, please don't sue me for using you line.**

 **MAO: LATERS!**

 **...**

 **...**

 ***MAO goes back to gushing over the cuteness that is the drawing of Violet***


End file.
